ZayyTech

Tbh this is a high two stars but since i like the read it’s 3. Unfortunately author, this one thing you did in your writing makes this story unreadable and i’m dropping. I advise you rewrite all the chapters and future chapters because not knowing who is talking and you not implying it is a kindergarten mistake. Hard to read but still a good story.

bro author, are you into gay romance or something. every other sentence these two dudes mention each other. Get off midoriya’s dick. I’m here to see the mc not him

aye bruh, stop catering to midoriya and this whole hiding thing is annoying. I want to see the dominance that comes with thunder not dude acting like some hidden character

fucking brain dead author. no way you wrote or translated this, read it, then published it. WHO THE F*CK IS TALKING!!!!!!!? Use “ and [Shoto talking] or something. This is getting hard to read and if you fix this, this already good novel will become way better.

you need to do a better job on telling us who is talking. The”-“ is not really i good way is more fitting to use ” when speaking. Also when changing pov maybe do a line like [Shoto pov] blah blah blah [Mc pov] and so on. It helps make reading easier

like when is the next sign in

bruh her character is not important to the story at all. move on from her cause i’m here for the mc

Story is going great and im really enjoying this novel. But if you make Mary join the group, i’ll still read but man it’ll be disappointing

Tbh the Karmen rider and multiple spiders is what really confused me. If you can reduce spiders too two or make Yuri spider abilities more special then that could make the story easier to write and flow better(they seem to similar ngl). Karmen Rider always confused me and there’s to many of them so most don’t know their full power or too lazy to look up. It’s early in the story so maybe it can be exchanged for nanotech or high tech like a tron bike. The little drone can be bees controlled by an AI or the mind. These are just my thoughts and can use it or use as an reference. Good luck on the novel.

no hate just like your stories and hope you don’t get complacent with your writing. Even then it’s just a few errors and everything else is highly enjoyable to read