I would like to start off by saying that “Ark’s Light,” was an enjoyable read, and I’m genuinely excited to see where the story goes. However, there’s a couple things I would like to critique, and a couple things I would like to commend. First, I’d like to get the boring stuff out of the way; grammar. Grammar errors aren’t usually that big of an issue for me. It’s not something I really worry about unless it directly affects the readability of the story. So, for grammar, I’d like to present you with a ⅗. It was serviceable, but not great. There were a couple spelling issues here and there, but the thing I couldn’t get over was the paragraph usage. So note this down: You must start a new paragraph every time a new character is talking. This makes reading the story and understanding who’s talking 1,000 times easier. Truly, it’s a game changer in how your writing looks, and how it feels to read it. Secondly, don’t have a character start talking and then start a new paragraph in the middle for seemingly no reason, I noticed this happening a couple of times in the book, and it did make understanding who was talking a bit harder. Now for the fun stuff, we’ll start off with some good things: I really like that the first chapter introduces all of the elements of the story fairly quickly, but still at a manageable pace. Within the first couple hundred words, we get to understand who the main character is as a person, his internal motivations, and why he acts the way that he does. I also enjoy that Daniel, (Ark), as a person is genuinely interesting to read about in an isekai. He has a true reason for acting the way he does, and he’s not just a blank slate. In most isekai, the main character only reincarnates because, “I like games, this is game world, hit the reincarnate button!” but this story fleshes out the character to have to make the choice of reincarnation from a couple of bad options. Okay, so don’t feel bad about this critique. I say it to almost every new writer I see, and quite frankly, I say it to myself a lot. Absolutely no one starts off perfect at this, because it’s really hard to strike a balance. So, without further ado, this is the thing that would benefit your story the most in my opinion: Zoom in. The story is interesting, but it kind of feels like a recap of events. Rather than retelling of events, I want to be transported to being with the characters. I want to know what they’re feeling, what they’re seeing, what kind of emotions they’re going through. To give a couple examples, I don’t just want to know it’s a rainy day, I want to know how it feels. Did it feel good and freeing, or did it feel sopping and clammy? What does Daniel think about the rain? When Daniel’s dad is breaking the news about being evicted, tell me how he looked when he said it, was he downtrodden, or was he rearing to have a soft reset? Seriously, tell me about his body language and how his emotions came across. Finally, tell me about the scenery. When Daniel’s dad broke the news, what did the world look like? Did the skies become more gray to Daniel? Did the apartments still look dilapidated from the outside? Were they just in a bad apartment, or were they living in a bad part of town in general? If you’re trying to get across that they had hit rock bottom, then make me feel that. I want to know what Daniel was thinking as well, was he still trying to stay positive, or had he resigned at trying to be happy at this point? Also, just to finish things off, a minor critique. As a 4 year old, Ark doesn’t talk much like a 4 year old. I get that he has the mind of an adult, but after only 4 years, I don’t think he would have that great of a grasp on the language yet. So I would recommend either boosting Ark’s age up by just a couple of years, or watering down the conversations. (Like seriously, what 4 year old would know what, “medium-rare,” is? So to wrap things up, I had a fun time reading, “Ark’s Light,” and am looking forward to what you as the author can do in the future. I appreciate you taking the time to read my critiques. Thank you-!