CoffeeAddict77
ของการอ่าน
17
อ่านหนังสือ
the details here can be expound more
can omit this
Show criminals going out the underground, etc.
Show more chaos
Who's talking?
Tenses
This seems rushed. What's the town looked like?
Riddit lol
A not-so appropriate internal monologue insert
tenses
Make it past tense
Show the flashback
missing dialogue tag
Noble people can abuse lengthened and mannered speeches.
dinner in the morning?
This is an unnecessary mention since he's not there. Showing works in his reappearance on the latter chaps
Replace repeated words
trait of the dark lord that she needs to avoid?
seven-year gap
reason? is it necessary?