I added the edited version to this story just now.

the monster's in the fifth one comes in part 2, 3, and 4. So stay tuned.

the story is good. You have minor grammar errors, and it is easy to fix. the world you created is quite different, which makes it good and unique. keep up the hard work, and I'm looking forward to more.

the story Lost at Sea will be more than one chapter, I'm not sure how many chapters it'll be just yet, but it will definitely be more than two chapters.

This is amazing. You wrote this story beautifully. It broke my heart when a kid died though. I love this story. The way you described things were really good too. Keep up the hard work

Your did an amazing job writing this story. You added some real good descriptions, love it. This made me want to read more. Keep up the hard work.

wow, that's a huge compliment tysm! I Def will keep them coming

ty!!

first things first, you don't need to say Chens whole name every time. We know he is Chen Peng. 2nd, you you don't need to put ! after a sentence, just describe everything so we can feel how Chen feels or feel how the narrator is telling the story. space out your paragraphs so we know you're moving on to a different scene, like when you were talking about Chen and this old man in prison, then you did a flash back. those paragraphs should be spaced apart, and if you're doing a flashback, it should start like this... Flashbackthen this is where you show us the flashback. story is good but can be better.

Ĝlad you liked it [img=recommend]

Okay the story is good but you have writing errors. I'm in school majoring in creative writing and the one thing they taught me was to describe EVERYTHING. Describe what your character is feeling, don't just tell us. We have to feel what he's feeling, experiencing, we have see what he she's. This is a hard task it was hard for me at first too but trust me, try it. You should definitely go back to the beginning and start editing as well. There are some words and sentences that shouldn't be there. Take your time editing.

No misspellings and no grammar issues. Some things could be reworded better but other than that book is good and eye catching. Makes you want to read more to see what is about to happen.

Writing quality is good. The beginning of the story reminded me of a Korean show I seen once where a lil girl found her mom on the floor in her bedroom dead and someone in the corner she hasn’t noticed. Turned out it was her step mom that killed her mom smh. Good book though so far and it’s different from the show I watched since your book has magic in it which is my favorite. Love books that have magic in it.

I appreciate your review. I wrote these books years ago so I’m still editing them. First chapter is around 3k words and the rest are between a high 1k and around 2k words. I tried breaking down the word count in each chapter as best as I could.

Thanks. Haven’ gotten around to editing any of these chapters yet and written these book years ago. Once I start editing the writing quali will be way better 😊

No grammar issues. Writing is good and love how he describes the game and the emotions of his character when he couldn’t use the cool nicknames he thought of, because they were all taken. I know that feeling all too well lol. Good book so far.

I love the way the author writes. This could be a good Barnes & noble book or just published book in general. Book sounds very very interesting and definitely made me want to read more. No grammar issues and author has a nice wild imagination.

Thank you 😊

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The way the author writes is very good. He described all the characters well, his grammar is good too. The book itself is very good, made me want to read more of it.