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Patrik_Crown

Patrik_Crown

Lv12

☬ I am currently engrossed in the captivating process of penning down my own unique story. ☬

2021-11-15 เข้าร่วมแล้วGlobal
-d

การเขียน

61.3h

ของการอ่าน

227

อ่านหนังสือ

ป้าย
10
โมเมนต์
112
  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    ตอบกลับถึง itoade

    Thanks bro, luv ur review! :3

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    แปะแล้ว

    Damn, I love it. The story, progression, everything. You wanna feedback? You don't need to, just continue to do what ya doin'... Writing quality is good, maybe a few mistakes here and there but the story covers them all so you don't even feel irritated at all... Development of the story has hooked u up from the start, where it flows slowly and perfectly. I like Soren's, sometimes humorous comments, and the world's background is well thought out. Overall, this story deserves more than just a few views. Continue in your work, I'll be watchin'...

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    แปะแล้ว

    I'm here for a review :3 So, due to having only 5 chaps, I can't give much, but I'll try... Right in the first chap, I saw some minor, let's say "mistakes..." But it's nothing that can't be fixed :3 Sadly, sometimes, I felt like... I was reading a newspaper article... It's not 'cause of the story but rather due to almost everything being glued together... Personally, after each sentence, I give a space and use a new line= "words that Mc or other character say" who said that and what expression, gesture, or tone they used/did. "And a new line"... "and again..." ..... ........ - space for the story... Mc might walk somewhere with others so I explain/describe that... Between that, I'll throw some dialogue again, etc... U know? Use some space, it will look better, and even when the story is not boring, after I saw those glued-up articles, I felt bored... trust me... It's our natural thing... We don't wanna read long and boring stuff... and even if it isn't boring, our mind already thinks that from just seeing it... But if you divide it, it will look easier and give your story more "space for breathing" as I say... Anyway, also, u might use some definition/boundary for your Mc's thoughts. "..." = Dialogue, things you say in our normal voice... '...' = This might be the sign for things your Characters say with their inner voice, thoughts they think about, etc... It will brighten your story a bit as well... [Don't take this as a criticization, rather understand it as a way how I'm trying to help u :3 ] And now the review itself... I really liked your story~ The writing quality is good [like your description style] and only saw minimal minor mistakes here and there... 5 fallin' stars for that :) Stability? IDK, I'm here for the first time and read this in one row- I'll give u 5, 'cause I can :3 Story development is a surprise tho, [for me at the very least], and I actually like that, but it's cut in the best [awaiting more] 5 for that... Character and World design and background are the same ... [Good yet I miss more chaps] [But 'cause I little roasted u at the start, I'll give u five... If not, I would give u 4] And that's it, hope u like it... Work on yourself and understand that the critique was necessary for your progress. I am glad I could read your story, see ya in the forum :3

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    แปะแล้ว

    Damn, this is something I didn't see on Webnovel often... Interesting plot, sometimes a funny MC [at least for me], and a world filled with intrigue... Looking forward to seeing more...

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    แปะแล้ว

    Damn, the first chap hit me like a truck... It was a long time since I read something sad, tho it was needed for the progress of the story. I love it, first chap hooked me up, and I let the story drive me through your work like a black muscle car through the town of Ghosts. Overall, due to not having enoguh chaps, I can't release a full review like I want to, but this story has a potential to shine... Don't let it go, this is your chance to prove yourself... I'll be watching...

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    แปะแล้ว

    I love this! Dark themes, psychological mind games, and questions that can pull your worst doubts out of your filthy mind~ If you are ready for some dark ride while finding quite interesting answers about your existence, check this out... But I warn you... It might give you goosebumps~

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    ตอบกลับถึง IKECARODEV

    Thank you for your kind words~

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    ตอบกลับถึง UelUel

    Thanks, trying to hold the words at 2500 per chap. So that's why... plus I'm also cutting off useless stuff... But, again, thanks for support...

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    ตอบกลับถึง Ranch64

    Thanks brother, I'll do~

  • Patrik_Crown
    Patrik_Crown9 months ago
    แปะแล้ว

    As always, UelUel is here to make my day... Dang, do I even need to tell you that This Story Is F* Good?! If you don't trust me then choose to read it - [This belongs to everyone who is trying to skip it or read the reviews before diving into this masterpiece!!!] ------------------ Now's time for the actuall review. As always, Uel's sentences makes my lungs cry in pain while I'm dying from laughter... five for that... Stability? Even when I read this in one day, I trust, (just as with all your novels) that your stability is as good as I know it. Development? A cute Fluffy on his adventures... What can be more cute than that? = Five for that... Charcet design? Same as Development = Fluffy's cutness saves everything [5 for that] World background = I like the world where Fluffy secretly operates :) Five for that... Overal, PLEASEEEE CONTINUE UEL!!! I need more!!! <3 <3 <3

My Darkness system

Is it possible for a Demon to have a system? And what about a world that had its principles reversed? Well, those are the questions for Raphael Gremory. Previously one of the first and only four Archangels, then a Fallen Angel, and now a powerful Demon who suddenly wakes up in an unfamiliar world. Because he joined his third brother, Lucifer, in the endeavor to rule the Universe, the gates of Heaven became forever closed for him. Finding out what his two creations wanted to do, God then sent Michael and Gabriel to stop them. In the battle of Light and Darkness, on the lands of Hell, the Archangels won, the balance was restored and Lucifer died in the hands of his brothers. But what happened to Raphael? Even he can't remember fully, because the only thing he can remember is dying along with Lucifer while his brothers, Michael and Gabriel, were just watching. Or not? Because how come that after he died, he woke up again? Did he really die? Or is it just his corrupted memory? And what is this voice? Why does it sound like the thing humans developed? How is it called again? An A.I.? Ah, so many questions... ... [ ! ] Warning: Narcissism, Manipulation, and other Toxic behaviors are present in the later development of this book as well as Sensitive Subjects like Blood, and Gore together with R-18 Chapters and many, MANY French kissing sessions. [ ! ] [ Raphael is a demon related to seducing; he doesn't need a reason to kiss a random girl he finds himself attracted to. Just like you~ ] [ ! ] Reader is advised [ ! ] [ ! ] Any relations to the Real World are just a coincidence. This story is pure fiction. [ ! ] [ ! ] The art on the cover is not mine, so if the Author wishes, I'll change it. Just let me know. [ ! ] [ WSA 2024 ] = [ If you like this story, vote for me. ] [ Thank you, and enjoy this sinful ride. ]

Patrik_Crown · แฟนตาซี
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
18 Chs

Eye of Aragos: The Darkness comes

[ ... In a momentous evening, Christopher Salvatore, a compassionate person who often feels manipulated by others, experiences a profound change when he encounters a mysterious woman. In a twist of fate, this unexpected meeting grants Christopher supernatural abilities as a vampire, forever altering the trajectory of his life. Not knowing what powers he owns, he later discovers that there is an individual residing within his very soul. The individual is known as Ardelean, a servant of The Darkness, the embodiment of Evil, who possesses an intense thirst for revenge upon his previous love partner, The Light. After Christopher is chosen by Ardelean to become his host, The Darkness is determined to possess Christopher's body and unleash its vengeance upon the Universe. If such an event occurs, his life will be lost. However... Is that truly going to happen? Or Christopher breaks free from his puppet strings and emerges as an indomitable Vampire, striking fear into the hearts of all in the Universe ... ] ________________________ ! Warning: Narcissism, Manipulation, and other Toxic behaviors are present in the later development of this book together with R-18 Chapters ! ! Reader is advised ! ________________________ [ Cover is mine. All covers are made by myself or at least edited if they are done by someone else. If an Author wants, I'll change it but only if you have proof the cover is yours :) ] ________________________ [ This story is fiction and any connection to the RW is mere coincidence... ]

Patrik_Crown · แฟนตาซี
4.9
88 Chs