ric3cak3

can't be fadING or can't have faded [it's how english works idk the technicalities] the second one kind of irks me because it doesn't make sense in context [my opinion idk if it's wrong exactly but it seems off]

I pointed out a few things that could be changed in the first ch. I suggest you download grammarly and add it as an extension to your chrome browser. That's what helped me proofread my work faster.

"Can't have faded" "eyesight has dulled"

first line: punctuation errors

lowercase "yes"

"ages" is a collective noun maybe use "how many decades/centuries"

1st line: had third line: new sentence instead of comma

am going to free you from your suffering

"in a trance" in place of "in the trance state"

omit "and" and begin a new sentence it feels more natural like that