Jordon_B

Wow. How pathetic.

Yeah. Author thinks he's writing a Naruto fanfiction.

Writing quality and grammar are decent. But the way you list things isn't very good, you can never tell if it's a new item or a continuation of the previous item, since it's all listed the same. And the way you repeatedly list out the "status" so many times, and so close together, is very irritating. Plus a couple other things readers have already mentioned. Still pretty readable so far, though.

Did the daimyo hire ninja, or did he hire bandits? I sure as hell wouldn't trust those murder happy thugs with protecting me.

Weird that he spent so much time mastering the explosive tag and beginner seals, but hasn't bothered to learn sealing scrolls. He still carries everything in a backpack.

Just wanted to point out that if you stab someone in the chest, and then cut up, you don't disembowel them.. up is the throat and head. Down is the stomach and bowels.

I hope he's smart enough to keep the sealess fire jutsu secret where root can see him. But I doubt it.

Seems like a waste to complete the fire release expert tag before he practices the fire elemental transformation training. Adding 100% mastery onto, say, 20% is a whole lot less than adding it to 75-100%.

MC bragging about how he gives his Pokemon the best care and best training, and yet his ralts that he's had for 2 years still hasn't evolved. So I kind of doubt MCs skills.

Because Pete already knew about it from the original story he wrote. In the "original" the volcano was caused by a stupid rocket waking up the heatran, and something involving the rage collars or whatever. Pete has "thought" about that multiple times. So now something extremely similar is happening, and what? He doesn't think rocket is involved? That would make him a giant moron. Which supposedly he's not, though he does make some really dumb choices sometimes..