AllMightyGodOfCats

Senior, the scene that I have given still is far off in the future. I just could not hold it out and had written it. I apologise.

You generally write in a good way, it's just that you don't let the characters show enough emotions. In the beginning, all of the characters felt quite similar, but they are starting to become more unique. The world building while not much has been shown or explained, the things shown are really cool. But in these paragraph comments, I already showed some bad things. Also, the thing with the third-eyed guy seemed weird. First of all, the MC didn't show any plan like he said, but just used some incarnation. Also, that guy just gave something out, without any apparent reason. Then again from all I could read, it seemed like the MC lived a normal life, then how is he supposed to know about that guy or his summoning words? Especially if he doesn't seem to know much about the world of mysticism. Some scenes were also confusing, but I can't exactly remember them perfectly. Other than that in 9 chapters almost nothing happened. A lot of potential but a lot of things to take better care of. **Recommended because I thought faster than I wrote.

Makes sense. But maybe a surface-level explanation? Like: "A witness is a person that has seen a glimpse of a truth/higher being" or something

cool.

show, don't tell.

still don't know what it means to call someone as a wittness

more emotion.

asked or better inquired

Instead of tell, show. "Shapish body began trembling, his eyes wide open. With a hint of insanity, he spoke: "Something like that maybe

doesn't feel natural. Shapish was supposed to have lived a normal life in the past where he didn't even now more than surface information about mystics. So why should he know how to convince a high being to helo him?