OwIInTheNightSky
ของการอ่าน
2
อ่านหนังสือ
"I have a bad feeling." This is more of what someone would say, not a thought. You could change it to "I get a bad feeling." or in past tense, "I had a bad feeling."
I sat down and, instead of "I was sitting down when" You would have to change that because here you're using past tense, as opposed to the present tense. If you want past tense to be the tense Loki is narrating in, you would need to change a few other sentences. I can lead you if you want to switch to past tense.
On "Pay up honey," you would have to have to add a period or a comma after "tomorrow"