Thnx for reading and the feedback, I'll try spacing out my paragraphs as you said.

The first chapter is great, it has a lot of potential, and the ending makes me want to read the next chapter like crazy. Also, the Despacito line made me laugh out loud. Great start, can't wait for more.

Yo the story is super good. I love all the little details in the world, and how much you bring in that gets fleshed out later on. Plus the main character is super likable and I love all of his dialogue with Cain. 10/10 will keep reading.

The story is great and there is a lot of detail in the characters and their designs and personalities. At some points, however, I sort of lose track of who's speaking and to whom they are talking to. But overall it's a great read and would definitely recomend.

Kenji is such a likable and compelling character and his siblings bounce off of him like butter. All the characters have their own uniqueness to them and the world itself is super interesting. There are no problems with grammar and writing and I'm very interested to see where this story takes me.

Ur welcoms

Thanks for the feedback. I've been meaning to change up the first chapter since I think it's my weakest and it needs the most work.

The story is great. I love the characters you have set up. And the plot is sad yet heroic. I love this novel. Though there are some rough edges here and there it's overall a very good read.

I love the concept and plot of this novel. Everything about it is cool, calm, and refreshing, exactly like its main character. Plus, Stroph is such a good name, I love it!

I love your writing style. And your story structure is very unique and fresh. Everything about this book is clean and amazing. I'd give it an 11/10.

Thanks, it means a lot.

The system is fire. Your writing is also very unique and the pacing of the story is exquisite. Also, I love your details with the characters, it makes it ten times easier to picture them in the story.

Great story! The world-building is very very well done and the characters are interesting and well developed. The writing is also very clean and focused.

The story is great and the writing is very well done. One thing I'd suggest is to split apart your paragraphs to give more breathing room, but overall a great story.

Thanks, I hope you enjoy the rest.

Thanks for the support.

The story is paced very well and the concept is very fresh and fun. The grammar needs a bit of improvement but I can't hate on that. So overall I'd give it a five. Can't wait for more chapters.

I like the story a lot. The system is very unique and the characters are very well written, especially Kelly. There are some rough points here and there, but the overall story is very good. I can't wait for more.

A very enjoyable read. I find the characters to be super relatable and well written. There are some minor mistakes here and there but the story makes up for it.

*wink wink*