PrugnaKerai

I would say the author is raw potential. They need to do more work to make their narrative smoother, which, at the moment is largely chunky and rigid. The grammar is slightly inconsistent in places. They are inexperienced when using a variety of different terminology, and should be wary when overloading the reader with too much detail, expecially names.

I would personally say that using these many names so early on will confuse your readers. It certainly confused me.

Good intro, however, there are some grammatical issues which need to be addressed

There is a wide variety of English which is used by the author, its refreshing to see on Webnovel. But, the read didn't excite me and there was no flow due to the writing and storyline being choppy and incomplete; there is a lack of smooth transition between events, this makes it hard to read. There are some grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes which can be easily be cleared up, the author would just need to have a re-read. I know this a fresh attempt for the author, so all I can say is keep going! Take feedback from your readers, and it is okay if they think different from your vision, its your story. Well done :)

It is evident that the author's first language is not English, however, they have done an impressive attempt in writing this novel, so a well done to them. There is a delicate and nice balance between dialogue and description, which is tricky to achieve. I would say that there are moments where the description is rushed and incomplete, there is so much more potential in captivating the reader's imagination, the author just needs to tweak this. Otherwise, a good start.

The repitition of the solar eclipse appearing out of nowhere is unnecessary

I am aware that the author's first language is not English, hence the irregularities in the grammar, but that's perfectly okay. I'm sure that if this story was written in the author's first language, the grammar would be spot on! It is clear the author has lots of hope for this novel and the potential is definetly there, however, as a reader, it feels as though something is missing; I can't quite put my finger on it. I can see that the author has passion for their novel, so keep it up!

Ah I see, okay, thank you for clarifying for me!

Ah, okay, I appreciate the honesty :)

Thank you, would you mind explaining why you gave the 4 stars?