Just say 'white dress, white sleeves and a white sash worn across her body as the silver point-lace on her dress reflected the gentle sunrays that shone on it' or something like that. This paragraphs a bit hard on the eyes to read

*giving off

Simplify your vocabulary to more general terms and stop using double descriptions like shimmered radiantly, they can detract some of the impact. 'The moon hung in the night sky, gives of small gleams of light which shone clearly through the dense forest, cracking open this cold dark night.' then make another paragraph before continuing

Sentence phrasing is a bit awkward, something like 'Unfortunately, all the black-haired woman saw was that they were close, very close.' The readers can usually fill what's between the lines so you can leave a decent bit to their imaginations.

Use different words, these don't really fit. His hostile gaze was mocked by a sarcastic smile' would be better. You're going to into detail on things no one really wants to know. Simplify the description of the situation.

Grammar

You can shorten your sentence and make it flow better. This is a bit tough to read, 'She'd known since that that there would be a day where she'd confront reality', I know that reality isn't really an accurate term but what I mean is that try not to use excessive punctuation, avoid it if you can. And shorten paragraphs as thick jumbles of lines are usually just skimmed over while short or standout lines are properly read

Try using more abrreviations, makes it easier to read

*convoluted

Simplify your vocabulary a bit and shorten vague descriptions. Your sentences are a bit convuluted and it doesn't really flow properly