marialawal31
I love love love One Piece, Joe Joe's Bizarre Adventure, Re: Zero, Shinsekai Yori and Madoka Magica, they're my top anime If you know a good anime feel free to recommend it to me. Photos not mine
Writing
of reading
3
Read books
marialawal314 years agoPostedThe tense switches back and forth between past and present so I'm not too sure when this is set. Some sentences need re-wording. But the idea is interesting, the character's personality shines through the dialogue and the start created mystery which would push the reader to want to find out more about the story.
- marialawal314 years agoReplied to marialawal31
or for the picky ppl - so it flows better
- marialawal314 years agoCommented
maybe change the sentence structure so it flows more
- marialawal314 years agoCommented
some issues with tense
- marialawal314 years agoCommented
The start is interesting, raises many questions
- marialawal314 years agoReplied to marialawal31
or We shall meet again, rather than shall we since the latter indicates a question
- marialawal314 years agoCommented
the statement might be better as a question
- marialawal314 years agoReplied to Kotachua
Thank you for your feedback.
