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So it’s here that it begins.
I hope that there are at least a handful of interactions between these two in the remaining chapters. Enough to still this poor void 😫
Power of Friendship, let’s go
Overall, just scrap and redo this chapter in particular.
This would be fine if we were shown previously that MC and the girls are really struggling to make money and pay rent. Something to entice billion girl to want to reach out like this. It just comes off as either the reader missed an entire arc of development and now has to settle for scraps or that billion girl is looking down on those not like here.
Oh, so the she-that-was-a-he-but-maybe-not is that kind of rich.
Description. Feelings. Something. This isn’t a visual medium. It’s a written one.
Suspension of disbelief is so important. Except, I thought Rebe was a guy. At least vaguely described as such. Don’t remember, descriptions are vacant here.
Everyone is just teleporting. Without some semblance of marker for people and their locations plus the “white room syndrome” the flow is shattered.
Teleportation? How did she get here. Everyone was waiting and she just appears with nothing noting it?