MWse

The writing quality is not bad. There are close to no major writing mistakes, only small ones. Please try to put the phrases in small paragraphs, because you spread them too much. I've noticed that from chapter 5 you start to describe your story more as a reporter would tell the news and less like an ongoing story. It would be best if you visualised your characters while writing. From a present, step-by-step peace you start writing about it like a past event ( where there is no interaction or dialogue, just descriptive ). The character design is very good, nothing to say about it.

Here too as in other places. At the end of the phrase use dot (.)

got a small writing mistake here

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate!

Thank you for the honest review! ^ ^

I hoped I didn't give too less details about the characters. I'm glad it was a satisfying result

Thanks for your review!

Tell me something new 🤣

The writing quality isn't bad. But the mistake I've noticed in several places is that you use punctuation (,) at the end of many dialogues instead of (./!/?). Or you forget to put (?) when someone asks something. Another mistake(not necessarily grammar) is that you leave too often blank spaces between your phrases. It's ok to leave a blank space from time to time, for example between 2 people's dialogue or spread a description in multiple smaller pieces; but leaving a blank space between every one or two phrases of a few words is a hard no! I didn't read the whole story so I'll give 5* to Story Development. As well as for character design, in the parts that I read, I didn't see anything that told me about the characters, so I leave it 4*. The world background is almost nonexistent, In every chapter should be an amount of description which says where are the characters, how is the weather, is it cold/warm, the senses of smell/sight/hearing etc. In the last two chapters, I saw only dialogue with not enough information about where the action happens. I hope this review will be helpful!