The_Gamer_Bell

the love interest has ruined any idea i had of this being a great story due to the i would say relationship between them but at this point i would have left her for her own safety because she clearly is suicidal in her need for proving herself to someone who has shown to not care about how strong she is to stand by his side. and then this absolute WASTE of potential says he is PROUD of her...that is not behavior that should be encouraged (rushing headlong into CERTAIN DEATH for someone of her lvl because of a very misguided inferiority complex). but by all means now that she has made a deal for power with the people (Rulers) that want you (a MONARCH) dead go kill your juliet, romeo. thats the only way i see that deal playing out because she is incapable of self confidence.

Honestly this chapter has ruined any idea i had of this being a great story due to the i would say relationship between them but at this point i would have left her for her own safety because she clearly is suicidal in her need for proving herself to someone who has shown to not care about how strong she is to stand by his side. and then this absolute WASTE of potential says he is PROUD of her...that is not behavior that should be encouraged (rushing headlong into CERTAIN DEATH for someone of her lvl because of a very misguided inferiority complex). but by all means now that she has made a deal for power with the people (Rulers) that want you (a MONARCH) dead go kill your juliet, romeo. thats the only way i see that deal playing out because she is incapable of self confidence.

Honestly, i LOVE the concept the only complaint would be the issues that pop-up from this being a translation such as weird wording or pronouns being a little wonky.

my advice is get a beta reader or run it through a writer program. I can't even get into reading because of the poor writing quality. Believe me, I TRIED it felt like I was having a stroke.