Newports

I liked the story until you brought this other dimension mark and eve drama. I was almost sure you were going to go with the option to make him there megumi but I was hoping you didn’t it’s Serves no purpose to me. It also goes against what both eve and megumi said they both said they don’t like sharing. You can try to say it’s the same person but it’s really not the other eve is the at least 17 years older and has had diffrent expierince marking her fundamentally a diffrent person. Even if you want to say she’s the same person it would make even less sense to add her because then it’s just two of the same for no reason other than sex. But this is just my opinion and overall the stories not bad just don’t like this decision so I might stop reading

I got the chapters mixed up it’s chapter six they tell us his age and chapter 5 atresus is talking just the chapter are so short didn’t even notice but either way what I said still is right.

Already a big problem and only 3 chapter in. He supposed to be 5 years older then atresus but when he’s born it says atresus is there. Then in chapter 2 atresus is talking even though he should be a baby since mc is 5 from what chapter 3 tells us. Also kratos and Faye let a 5 year go and hunt alone even though in the game atresus is 11 and that’s his first time hunting with his dad ever and has only been taught a little by his mom.

Gojo is older then naoya

This story’s very repetitive the author seems to only know how to describe things one way and doesn’t really know how to change up the story. Overall the story ok at best at least in my opinion

This is getting repetitive he says he’s versatile basically every chapter.

Is this a change because of him being here?

I should have read a little more I thought this was 2015 draft when it’s 2013 my fault. I do feel you should have told us some things earlier like what year it was and his position. I’m 12 chapters in while writing this and still not sure of his position.

You shouldn’t have made him born in 1994 he’s going to be 20-21 when he gets in the nba which doesn’t make sense unless he was held back 2 years since if he only went to college for one year he would be 19-20.

Please do not make this a harem. I know there’s a harem tag and I went into the story knowing that but at this point in the story I just feel it wouldn’t make sense and would ruin the dynamic that hope and the mc have