Techno_God

A pain to read with all the - In the text. MC has no system so even if he's 10'000 years ahead of the story he will be caught up by Black Star and fucked in the ass.

See, that's a bad excuse and why it's hard to write OP MC. He had Peter pent up to the wall with telekenis until he got shot. So only his detection powers stopped working? You need a reasonable excuse for OP MC to fail or it's just forced.

Was okay until chapter 6. Somehow they got the jump and shot Syler after he got all these abilities to detect people from a distance. This is the problem with OP MC, any setbacks seem fake or forced. Now it just seems like you did all that work to send a power gift pack to Peter. Are you sure Sylar is your favorite character? You could have written about Peter's mother predicting it and sending people to save him but you decided to write about his brother's car accident? For a guy who watched the show a lot, going after the child of a precog is dumb.

Bro, you must not read many Chinese novels. They could live on a different planet for hundreds of years but their Chinese soul will always be under the red flag. it doesn't matter if they live in america, marry white women, or have kids, they wouldn't hesitate to burn america to the ground.

Good concept but falls flat. With 10 int I wanted to see a vampire Tony Stark yet we get a moody mc who cries its not fair. He doesn't use his highest int on the planet, doesn't try to understand his ability, doesn't even use the abilities he has. MC monologues in his head for half the chapters and makes plans not even knowing Alice can see the future. over 20 chapters and he hasn't even tried to observe all the Cullens. MC does nothing but bitch every chapter.

Tbbt has so many characters in the plot I can't bring myself to care about some OC bikers and no, I don't read a tbbt fanfiction for the action so I don't think most people will thank you. He could have been friends with will, zack, kripke, and others at the job.

Not very interesting. This story doesn't seem to be about Raj. The other three seem to have more scenes than Raj who looks like a background character in his own story. When we finally get chapters about Raj it isn't him talking to girls, making advancements at work, it's all with a stupid motorcycle gang. Raj's whole new personality revolves around a motorcycle and it just doesn't seem like TBBT, more like sons of anarchy.

after reading a few chapters of internal monologue I don't even know when the timeline is. he keeps talking about vague sense of danger but not what the danger is. Like wtf is MC doing, he needs allies supposedly so he goes to a much older human who wouldn't really take him seriously instead of his werewolf cousin? So much for the pack, fuck it I guess? the next person he goes to? murder vampires who killed his uncle the first chance they got when they found out he was a werewolf and did nothing to them. Oh yea, what a smart MC.

annnd it just got stupid.

aaaaand it just got stupid.