Aenin
ของการอ่าน
562
อ่านหนังสือ
You really need to work on the grammar. Use a grammar checker or something. Dialogue from different people should be on different lines, not jumbled up into one paragraph. Also, names should be capitalized. Nick Fury not nick fury.
I like the story but the translation could use some work. The dialogue contains a lot of multiple paragraphs not formatted properly which makes it difficult to read. Sometimes, words are translated inconsistently. When working with multiple paragraphs of dialogue from a single person, you need to put quotes at the beginning of the paragraph.
The MC has an immortal cultivation technique. It just starts in a Wuxia world, but that's just a mortal plane amongst the myriad planes of a Xanxia world.
Well, that was a fun ride. There were some parts where the story was just pure info and little characterization. Chen Chen was almost 2d where he didn't seem to care about anyone, so that took a little out of the story. I kept getting a Warhammer 40,000 vibe, so I was glad that the end basically spelled out that it is what the story was either based on or an alternate reality of wh40k
Hey translator, why are you splitting up dialogue into paragraphs? This is very odd and it makes it hard to read. Please read up on writing dialogue in English.
You seem to started to write dialogue improperly. I know it's popular with some authors on webnovel who don't understand english, but you seem to be doing well so far. I would avoid writing dialogue with the format of 'name: "text". I've enjoyed your story so far, however, if you continue writing dialogue in such a way, I will have to drop this story.