jhsilver

I understand but that was not the point of my original comment which you didn't address properly and instead assumed things. My point was disagreeing with the person I replied to. They were stating that the MC would have a hard time finding work outside of being a Ninja which I disagree with. I didn't disagree with the MC being a Ninja nor about him asking for help in training. In any case, even if I'm wrong it doesn't change the fact that your first reply to me had nothing to do with what was being discussed.

We were discussing the MC alternative option other than being a Ninja and whether he would be successful or not. I agree that going the Ninja route is preferable, but he could have gone a different path and been OK. If you are here because you think I disagreed with the MC begging to be taught to be a Ninja then you would be wrong. I don't believe I made such a statement just that the MC had options.

And properly communicating is important to explaining one's logic and reasoning. Again it seems you are confused about what was being discussed.

How about you learn to spell properly before you question others' IQ. While you are at it how about you learn to read on what it is we were discussing.

Honestly, the romance was also a big issue, but that was not because of your lack of skill more so because Gwen being an OC in a fanfiction makes it hard for the reader base to like, However, you did very well there most OC pairing in fanfiction are written far worse.

thanks for the story, even if it was rushed at least you finished.Great work

Nah, it makes sense, though who the hell throws a punch like that? I think you might have overdone it a bit, getting his butt beat was more than enough for the character development you want here. The rest seems excessive and makes it look like you are trying too hard.

This is one of those situations where on paper it sounds legit, but doesn't usually amount to much because usually, the character development you want for the MC can be achieved in different ways without annoying your reader/viewer base. It's one of the reasons you don't see this often in other media because it makes it a drag to read/view such thing.

Is there a reason why your story has a strong lack of Lily? Yes, she shows up from time to time, but considering her importance in canon she hardly shows up its also kinda odd she is not more involved with this group you have set up which even Snape is a part of but not her. Of course, I might be speaking too soon and you have something brewing.

So is this it when it comes to Snape's character development when it comes towards pureblood supremacy? I might be speaking too soon but this seems kinda of lackluster especially considering it took the woman Snape was in love with to die, to finally begin to change and even then not completely.