Bigwall1296
Lv15
39 year old father and stepfather. I'm a carpenter by trade and author by hobby.
2017-04-08 เข้าร่วมแล้วUnited States
-d
การเขียน
3.7kh
ของการอ่าน
530
อ่านหนังสือ
ป้าย
28โมเมนต์
5
Bigwall129629dเพิ่มความเห็นแล้วthanks for the image
[Image] →- Bigwall129629dเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
thanks for the image
[Image] → - Bigwall12961yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
The story is good but it would be better if you have some type of indication when you're switching point of views so the reader is more aware of the change. It gets a little confusing when you're suddenly reading about another character or from another character's point of view unexpectedly.
Ch 10 Presentations (2) - Bigwall12962yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
That is deep on so many levels.
"You shouldn't worry about me," Lieutenant Dyester said before giving voice to a faint laugh. "I'm a defective training dummy. I've tried to be a monster, but my mind opposed my programming." - Bigwall12962yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
Actually Kira had white fur. He was as strong as he was despite having white fur. He was the same as the rest of his clan. that's also why Aella is white also, both of her parents were white.
He recalled the clan that was led by Kira. While everyone had white fur, Kira was the only one to have black fur.