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DJ87

DJ87

Lv15
2017-11-01 เข้าร่วมแล้วGlobal
1kh

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299

อ่านหนังสือ

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19

โมเมนต์

76
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    There's a small hidden clause there..... (First kiss with you that is)

    "oh, what a coincidence it was my first too"
    The Conquerors Path
    แฟนตาซี · Chaosking
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    ตอบกลับถึง DJ87

    Of course not. Reader's immersion to the story is important. However, it should be more interesting. Since your MC is not a clueless newbie but someone who was reincarnated, use it to your advantage. Slip a bit of flashback or side story to how he gained the knowledge/skill, or his experience mastering skill under his master's tutelage. Add a bit of humor or jokes to make the lengthy explanation easy on the eye. For example, when the two elders were trying to break the array, slip some humor about how the array almost burned his beard, or instead of merely stating the darkness is hard to combine with any elements, try putting some experience of how he almost died by combining it with other elements before. Then again, it's just my own personal view. I hope you won't be offended by my comments. I know it's not easy to write a good story. It's just my own personal preference in a story. Other readers might like your way of writing. Keep up the good work and you'll definitely get there. Apologies if my comments offended you

    Reincarnation Of The Strongest Spirit Master
    แฟนตาซี · ranmaro
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    แปะแล้ว

    The book started really good at first. The ideas were interesting and engaging at first. However, as the story progresses, I feel the author is becoming too long winded in explaining simple things that won't really matter in the long run. Author also likes to overexplain learning of skills that won't really be useful or meaningful in the future as well. Sadly I have to drop this story after 72 chapters.

    Reincarnation Of The Strongest Spirit Master
    แฟนตาซี · ranmaro
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    He has got to be one of the dumbest MC in history. You know that there's two guys stronger than you, and yet you're willing to risk losing your precious immortal qi and risk endangering yourself in a prolonged fight. Killing/disabling your enemies as fast as possible is always the best way to achieve victory.

    Ch 592 No way out
    Life Changing System
    แฟนตาซี · Genrei
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ871yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Do they have Jolls Joyce too?

    It was a Jolex watch store, a brand that Roland was familiar with. It was one of the most known watch brands around the world after all.
    Face-Slapping System
    สมัยใหม่ · StiffStick
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    I believe you mean,It was so addictive

    ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว
    Martial God Gamer
    ตะวันออก · CrazeNovel
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    First and foremost, the idea of having a system for this kind of setup is unique and new. However, there is an over reliance on the MC having the system to justify whatever that happens in the story. I mean, come on, how did he suddenly get the share of a Fortune 500 company. And there is not even a scene of the MC being surprised by the system or any other explanation or goals of the system. If the author had explain that the MC is familiar with a system through novel etc, then it makes sense. But the MC is someone who had been struggling his whole life and usually people who struggled had problem trusting something especially when it is too good to be true. It had potential but author is too much in a hurry to write that a lot of important events such as discovery of the system is neglected.

    Ch 7 This Is Our Boss! Got it?
    Stepmother: I Am Asked To Give A Kidney To My Half-Brother
    สมัยใหม่ · Wind's Mark
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    And so they all shall fall. Like dominoes.....

    Ch 8 First slave
    The All-Conquering system
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Author san is obviously trying to make us feel like Layla here..... Stopping just at the right moment..... We want moooore!!!!

    Ch 7 First time
    The All-Conquering system
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Thanks for the awesome chapter

    Ch 5 Big interruption
    The All-Conquering system
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    แปะแล้ว

    A well written story . It leaves me wanting more. It is very apparent that the writter put a lot of effort in making it such an enjoyable read. Kudos to the writer.

    The All-Conquering system
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Awesome chapter. Loving the storyline so far

    Ch 4 Completing missions in rapid succession
    The All-Conquering system
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Awesome story so far. Keep it up

    Ch 1 The All-Conquering System
    The All-Conquering system
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Awesome chapter bro

    Ch 101 Classroom sex once again
    The hypnotizer
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Awesome chapter aa usual. Thanks

    Ch 100 Passionate sex with Diana
    The hypnotizer
    สมัยใหม่ · Claen
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    แปะแล้ว

    Such a shame that an interesting story like this is ruined by such a bad translation. And the details are mixed up as well. At first it saya the bloodline maxed up at level 20,but the next chapter the bloodline is only level 10. Deleted from library

    My Maids Are All Antagonists!
    แฟนตาซี · Ultimate Guaiguaipi
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Niece? Wasn't Eve his cousin?

    ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว
    Reincarnated With The Strongest System
    แฟนตาซี · Elyon
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Gotta catch em all?

    "I choose… you!" William shouted as he took out the gifts that Sancus gave him in exchange for accepting his proposal. "Go! Pocket Cubes!"
    Reincarnated With The Strongest System
    แฟนตาซี · Elyon
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Really?!!!!

    Nevertheless, plants did like to drink beer.
    My Passive Skills are Invincible!
    ไซไฟ · Ultimate Guaiguaipi
    detail
  • DJ87
    DJ872yr
    เพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว

    Jail is just another room huh? That's one of the top ten reasons lolicon ends up in jail. Along with: Age is just a number Love knows no age Love is blind .. .. .. Continue 😂

    "Jail is just another room, Big Brother," Lily shook her head in disappointment. "You may have the money, wealth, and love of every person in your world, Big Brother, but, if you don't have a Loli then your life will be incomplete."
    Reincarnated With The Strongest System
    แฟนตาซี · Elyon
    detail