Original story, so don't pay for patreon unless you like being scammed. fanfiction.net/s/13519657/1/Revolution. Just another person trying to copy and paste other people work.

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The pay wall on fanfiction also you set the reason why games are important but rush things and instead of going a unique way of government asking for specific growth games or something you try to make him a warriors like he a rare developer no government in a post apocalypse world you've made would let him fight risk vs reward isn't worth it. starts cool ends like crap not worth reading.

should he be getting motion sickness now

do you hear the people sing? the song of angry men?

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would be fun if they they face each other first round. it would ruin the suspense but would prevent Seido from "training the ace" ace it's really only game time thay developers the ace mentality. and second he is a world class pro player reborn he has not weakness he isn't already addressing honestly its more age/body maturity that's holding him back.

I think raven needs to steal brawly communication device to contact oak potentially making him a go between/handler which will help him mature more in the eyes of his father.

just have him leave a journal and disappear, leave it where he learns all his skills and techniques from kurama. Lastly his cover is a simple shop owner in the capital or something where no one can find him.

Cedric is changing, why not tonks x Cedric to let him lighten up. With both being puffs of would make a fun dynamic.

Hes trained by the poison mistress. While he loses the fight in hand to hand which is to be expected. He lands a hit on neji yet doesnt poison him it would be like gai not teaching hand to hand, just doesn't make sense.

Next chapter please?

Maybe do some slice of life to where shun meets the generations of miracles and how for high school they will all be going to different schools to even out the competition. Shun flat out declares he will go to where ever satsuki decides to go. Add some fluff and should help you prep for 3rd year. Especially since schools will recruit that year