25. Total Eclipse Of The Heart

[A/N: Bahhh, I'm still sick :( Thanks for the reviews, guys!]

Chapter 25: Total Eclipse of the Heart (by Bonnie Tyler)

"Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time. I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark, we're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks…"

. . . . . . . .

They scrambled clumsily away from the street, slipping in the fresh snow as Jonathan tugged at Nancy's hand, keeping her from falling again. The ground dipped and they looked up at the road above them as the snowplow passed, barely moving the inch that had fallen so far.

Nancy found herself mildly disappointed when Jonathan finally let go.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he stretched backwards, wincing at the bruise that was surely forming.

A cheeky grin formed on her face as she nodded then erupted into giggles. "Yeah, I'm fine," She managed as he watched in amused puzzlement.

"What's so funny?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as her fit of laughter continued. Tears were in her eyes and she leaned back against a tree trunk, using it to brace her as she tilted her head to the sky.

"I don't know," Her voice was high and she was smiling and even if he had no idea what was going on, it was a sight he was pleased to behold.

Thinking quickly, he lifted his camera and snapped a photo. The sound pulled Nancy from her laughing fit and she wiped away a tear. "Hey!"

"What?" He grinned innocently.

"I didn't say you could take a picture," She feigned offense, the lingering smile on her face betraying her.

He shrugged, letting his camera hang. "You got me,"

Nancy smirked at him, then looked down, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"It was a good shot, though" Jonathan said, his lips curved in a half-smile. "I think you'll like it,"

"It better be," She retorted with a laugh. "God, I probably look like an idiot,"

Jonathan shook his head and the small smile on his face made something flutter in Nancy's chest. "Not possible,"

There it was again - the heaviness in the air. Nancy looked down at the sparsely snow-laden ground around them in the hope that avoiding eye contact would make the butterflies in her stomach calm down. She wasn't sure if he was looking at her or not but she also didn't want to risk meeting his gaze.

"Did you um, wanna keep walking?" Jonathan asked after a moment and she could sense the hope in his voice.

"Actually…" She hesitated. Truthfully, she did. As weird and uncomfortable as she felt inside, it was a good feeling… but at the same time, she felt torn. As torn as she'd been feeling ever since she and Jonathan teamed up to kill the Demogorgon together. That week had changed the way she viewed him. Their little brothers had been friends for years so she'd always regarded Jonathan as a passing acquaintance but they'd never spent that much time getting to know one another.

What about Steve? She reminded herself and the thought was sobering. She needed to figure this out and the way she was feeling right now was dangerous.

"I um… I should actually be getting home," She said apologetically. "It's probably getting kinda late,"

"Oh," Jonathan said and Nancy winced at the disappointment in his voice. "Yeah, that's cool. Do you need a ride? We're not far from my house,"

Nancy hesitated, weighing the pros and cons of riding home in Jonathan's car when she was feeling this way but ultimately deciding that walking all the way back home in the snow didn't seem like a good idea.

As he drove carefully through the snowy neighborhood, Jonathan couldn't help but steal glances at Nancy. She seemed to be leaning as far away from him as possible, her arm propped up on the door as she stared out the window. He knew he was being an idiot. She was dating Steve and there was no way she would look at him in that way. He'd gotten his hopes up once before, coming close to thinking she might actually see him as more than the brother of her kid brother's best friend. But after the monster was gone and Will came back, everything went back to normal and she went back to Steve. He didn't blame her as much as he chastised himself for expecting something more. And even now, he willed himself to stop pretending.

"Here we are," He said lamely, putting the car into park in her driveway.

"Yup," Nancy nodded, staring down at her lap, then looking up at her house. "Thanks for the ride," She finally looked at him. The first eye contact they'd had since the woods.

"No problem," He replied, pursing his lips and nodding.

"Okay, well," She was hesitating, but for what? "Um, goodnight,"

Jonathan blinked. "Goodnight," He managed, watching as she trudged through the snow on her lawn and disappeared into the house.

. . . . . . . .

The house was quiet when El left her room to go to the bathroom. She crept quietly over the wooden landings, trying to best to minimize the creaks and groans of the wood. The lights in the hall were off but a small plug-in night light plugged into the wall illuminated her path enough to avoid running into anything. As she'd come out of the bathroom, she noticed the familiar bluish light coming from under Terry's door and the door that was not quite closed. Curious, she gently pushed it open.

She hadn't had the opportunity to "speak" with her mother since their last encounter in the darkness. El tried to keep her powers under wraps around Becky and Rose. She knew Hopper had mentioned it to Becky at least but it was still something she felt more comfortable concealing.

My baby… Terry's voice in her head was like a distant echo as the dissociated woman stared fixed at the TV. Her flat affect was disconcerting but El was slowly growing used to it, especially knowing what she knew now.

Still a little unsure of herself, El climbed up onto the end of Terry's bed, tucking her legs under her as she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. As she allowed herself to focus, to find the darkness, she found it didn't take much effort on her part to get there.

There is so much we missed. El could see Terry, her nightgown reaching the edges of her ankles, her feet wet in the strange environment.

"I… don't understand," El admitted, staring up at the woman in perplexed fascination.

You're here because you want to understand. Terry explained. You're a very special girl, El.

"I have…" El paused, mulling over her words. "Never done this. Do you…?"

Terry smiled at her, reaching out and cupping El's cheek in a gentle embrace that immediately set El at ease. You found me because you wanted to find me. I'm not doing any of this. She rubbed a thumb softly over El's cheek. I don't know the extent of your abilities but I know you're capable of more than you know. She smiled softly at her daughter. Sometimes we don't know our own strength until we find something worth being strong for.

El looked down, soaking that statement in as a barrage of memories suddenly assaulted her mind - the school, the Demogorgon, the horrible screeching sounds it was making as her friends desperately yelled over each other. She remembered the feeling of hot, salty tears making her cheeks burn and the overwhelming exhaustion that felt like she was carrying weights in her pockets. She remembered the jarring visual memories of Dustin carrying her into the classroom, the way Mike's hands felt as he held hers and the tears that flooded his eyes as he told her about Eggos and Snowballs and promises. She knew what she had to do in that moment, though it was in no way easy. She remembered the way her body fought against her as she rolled off of the table, her head screaming at her in pain and resistance as she kept the monster pinned to the chalkboard. Lifting her arm to keep Mike back, to protect him, felt like an invisible force was trying to push that arm back down. Her other arm trembled as she held the monster still, her fear being swallowed up by the loyalty she felt to those boys. Her friends. She'd brought this monster here. It wanted her. She needed to be the one to make it go away. It was the only way this terror would end.

Terry wiped away a tear El hadn't realized had slipped out and she looked up at this woman and her ethereal smile.

Trust yourself and don't be afraid. Terry said and El furrowed her brow, trying to be as brave as her mother seemed to think she was.

I want to show you something. Terry said in a different, more solemn tone as the darkness faded away and El found herself back in the lab. For a moment, her stomach dropped with fear before she realized this was a memory - her mother's memory - and no one was paying her any mind. El watched with cautious intrigue as researchers she didn't recognize passed by. She recognized the room they were in and the large tank that her Papa was standing in front of. El furrowed her brow as one of the researchers assisted a young woman out of 'the bath' and her eyes widened as she realized that woman was Terry.

"Wonderful work, my dear," Brenner's slick voice encouraged her as she accepted a towel around her shoulders. Her eyes were vacant, pupils dilated as she sat on the metal landing with her long hair dripping over her shoulders. "You are contributing to historic research here,"

El blinked and suddenly she was in the darkness again.

"You were…" She began, looking up at her mother. "...in the bath…?"

Yes. Terry nodded. I didn't know what I was doing. The lab offered money for research participants so I volunteered. It helped me through college until…

El squinted curiously at her mother. Even if she was more communicative in this space, she was still difficult to read.

Before I knew about you. Terry made eye contact with El and it sent a shiver down the young girl's spine.

. . . . . . . .

El spent almost every afternoon with her new girl friends but it wasn't until the middle of the week that she remembered to ask them about coming to Dustin's birthday party the following weekend.

"Don't tell me not to live, just sit and puttah," Gabby was dramatically singing and acting out a song that El didn't know. The other girls seemed annoyed but El was fascinated. "Life's candy and the sun's a ball of buttah," As Gabby flitted around her bedroom like a butterfly, El wondered how she had so much energy. "Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my paraaaaade!"

"Alright!" Trish exclaimed, exasperated. "You sound fine! Can you stop now?"

"She's been doing this all day," Emma explained. "Ever since the flyer went up outside the theater room,"

"Auditions are on Friday," Gabby said, as though it was obvious. "That only gives me two days to prepare!"

"You've been singing that song at every talent show and birthday party since we were six," Trish retorted. "I think, you have a handle on it,"

"Birthday!" El exclaimed, remembering. Though she wasn't loud, the sudden statement still surprised her new friends.

"Yeah?" Trish quirked an eyebrow.

"My friends," El sunk back down into the blanket on Gabby's bed, suddenly self-conscious. "Um… Back in Hawkins. Want to come?" She looked around hopefully at the girls who exchanged curious looks.

"What friends?" Emma asked.

"Dustin's birthday party," El answered, counting names off on her fingers. "Dustin, Lucas, Will, Mike -"

"Mike?" Gabby exclaimed, her freckled face beaming with an impossibly wide grin. "We get to meet the infamous Mike?"

Gabby's reaction was making El blush but Emma patted her shoulder reassuringly. "You're sure your friend wouldn't mind you inviting us to their party?"

"They know we're girls, right?" Trish laughed. "Most boys our age don't want to hang out with girls,"

"They don't?" El asked, puzzled. She'd never gotten that impression from the boys. They seemed to enjoy spending time with her.

"Well, I mean, if they're your friends, I guess that's different," Trish backpedaled. "But they don't even know us,"

"I asked," El said confidently. "They said yes,"

Trish shrugged, "Okay. I'm down,"

"Oh man, I am so excited for this," Gabby crouched down, digging through albums beneath her record player. "Okay, so I was at the record store last weekend and I found something that perfectly fit you, El, okay?" She jumped up, record in hand as she switched out what was in the player for the one in the sleeve. El watched eagerly, wondering what could make Gabby so bubbly.

Emma watched quietly as Trish shook her head, rolling her eyes as Gabby bobbed up and down to an upbeat tune. El found herself bouncing along until Gabby started singing,

"Oh Mikey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mikey!" She grinned, putting emphasis on the word 'Mikey', and El's eyes widened dramatically. She could vaguely hear that those weren't the exact lyrics. She also wasn't sure why there would be a song about someone being 'fine' but the way Gabby was grinning while she sang at El made her blush regardless.

Trish stood up off the bed and reached past Gabby, turning the volume down. "Must you turn everything into a goddamn musical?"

"It was a joke, Trish," Gabby glared at her friend. "Don't get your panties in a twist,"

El just looked between the girls, lips pursed and eyes wide as she waited for some sort of explanation.

"Whatever," Trish rolled her eyes and flopped back onto the bed.

Gabby made a face at her friend before turning the volume back up and continuing to sing, "Oh Mikey, what a pity you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand," Even though El felt a little awkward hearing Gabby pretend to sing about Mike, she thought it was neat how she could change her voice to mimic the woman on the record. She even laughed when Gabby grabbed her hand, acting out the lyrics. She almost reminded her of Mike and the way he could be really dramatic during D&D campaigns. "Oh Mikey, you're so pretty, can't you understand -"

El was just wondering if boys could also be pretty when Gabby's bedroom door flew open.

"Turn that shit DOWN!" A large man with coiffed grey hair and a tucked in button down shirt glared into the room. His voice was thunderous and all of the girls froze immediately. Without another word, he slammed the door shut and no one moved as his footsteps were heard clomping down the staircase.

Gabby's hands trembled as she stopped the record and El watched as Emma came up behind her, taking the sleeve that she was struggling to put the record into. "I've got it,"

"I um… I thought he was at work?" Trish said in a hushed voice and Gabby merely shrugged.

It was strange yet frightening seeing Gabby's bubbly and hyper demeanor shift so abruptly. El had yet to meet her father but given everything she'd heard, his explosive outburst had not been surprising.

Emma encouraged Gabby to sit on the bed with them and El recognized the fear in the redhead's eyes - the way her pupils dilated and her muscles seemed more rigid than normal.

"He hasn't done anything lately, has he?" Trish whispered, careful of her tone.

Gabby shook her head as Emma rubbed her back. "No, um, not lately,"

"Good," Trish said defiantly, shooting a glare at the closed bedroom door. "Asshole,"

Emma kicked Trish from across the bed. "Shut up!"

"It's the truth!" Trish defended, rolling back onto her back so that her head was next to Gabby's leg. She leaned against her friend. "I'm sorry,"

"It's fine," Gabby said, staring straight ahead, her chest rising and falling with each steadying breath.

El, not entirely sure what to do but following her instincts, crawled up behind Gabby and tentatively patted the girl on her back.

"So how about that party, El?" Trish broke the silence, sensing the need for a change in conversation.

"I've gotta ask my mom but I think I could come," Emma said, looking back at El as she rested her chin on Gabby's shoulder.

"I wanna go," Gabby whispered distantly and Trish patted her on the leg.

"You're gonna go," She said reassuringly, then turned to El with a smirk. "So tell us about Dustin and Lucas and Will, oh my!"

El smiled, happy to talk to her new friends about her first friends but also feeling like Trish had made some sort of joke that she didn't understand.

. . . . . . . .

The air was thick and El's short hair was slicked to her head in the moist, cold atmosphere. White particles floated past as she lifted her head from the ground on which she'd lain. She recognized the decaying earth, the vines that wrapped themselves around every living and non-living thing. Sitting up, El could barely see through the dense low-lying fog and the darkness that seemed to seep into her soul and set free every fear she'd kept buried deep.

Flashes of light and men's voices in the distance. El jumped up, her heart pounding in her chest as she recognized the suits in the distance.

Running faster. Faster. She couldn't go back. They wouldn't take her. She'd escaped. She couldn't go back.

Mike. Where was Mike? Oh, how she wished he was with her.

Run faster. Faster!

Twigs breaking beneath her bare feet, cutting into soft flesh and making her wince but she couldn't stop.

A strange sound in the distance. The Demogorgon? No, she'd killed it. It was dead. She'd torn it apart, piece by piece.

Something was wrong. Something bad was coming.

The men's voices were getting louder. They were getting closer.

She couldn't stop. Her muscles were cramping. So tired. Everything hurt. She needed to rest. Just for a minute.

No! Can't stop. Can't stop!

They were louder now. They were looking for her. They were going to find her and take her back to the lab.

Tears flooded her eyes as her chest burned from exhaustion. Keep running. Faster!

She could feel them behind her, gaining on her. They were so close she could feel their breath. A hand grabbing her shoulder…

El sat up with a jolt, panting, as the world around her transformed from the eerie Upside Down to her simple, quiet bedroom. A cold sweat beaded as her forehead as she calmed down, reminding herself that it was only a dream.

But it wasn't just a dream, was it?

El rolled onto her side, feeling around under her bed until she found it. Closing her eyes and focusing, she searched for him.

"Mike?" She whispered, her voice wavering as tears slid down her cheeks.

It only took him a moment to respond.

"El?" He didn't sound like he'd been sleeping even though it was close to midnight. "What's wrong? You sound upset,"

His words, the reality of her fears hit her and she struggled against choking sobs that forced their way out of her lungs. "Bad…" She managed between breaths. "Dreams,"

"Aw man," He sighed sympathetically. "That sucks. But hey, it's okay. It was just a dream, it wasn't real,"

El shook her head vehemently. "It's… real," She hiccuped. "I… I remember,"

Mike paused, trying to make the connection. "You remember… wait, is your memory coming back? From before?"

El nodded, tears flooding her eyes as she did her best to maintain the connection but being so upset made it difficult to keep her energy focused. "Yes,"

"Wow," Mike breathed. "Okay… what do you remember? I mean… actually… don't tell me if it's gonna make you more upset, I guess?"

El inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down. She knew she'd lose the connection if she didn't get herself under control. "Bad men," She replied, her words shaky and forced. "And… something bad,"

"Something bad?" Mike asked, confused. "More bad men?"

"No," El shook her head, exhaling slowly as her heart rate steadily declined.

"What else is bad?" He replied.

"I… don't know," El admitted, exhaling again and feeling like a deflated balloon as she finally felt the last of her anxiety subside.

"Um, okay," She could tell by his tone that he was becoming more perplexed the longer they spoke. She hated this feeling of helplessness when she didn't know what to say or do. "Well uh," He finally said after a minute. "You sound a little better now,"

El sighed. "Better,"

"Good," Mike smiled and she could hear it through the phone, imagining the way his lips curved and his cheeks got rounder when he was happy. "So um… there's something I've been wanting to ask you about actually… but y'know, with you not having your memory back and everything…" He trailed off and El waited patiently as she always did. "Anyway, um, this weird thing was happening while you were, you know, um, in the Upside Down… I had these weird dreams while you were missing," He stumbled through his words clumsily. "You know, before we found you… I um, were you doing that?" He blurted out, then added, "Talking to me in my dreams, I mean?"

El smiled to herself as the memories rolled in gently. "Yes,"

"Really?" Mike asked, excited. "I knew it. I knew I wasn't just imagining it! How were you doing that? I mean… have you always been able to do that?"

El paused. "I don't know…" To be honest, her recollection was still hazy, though she remembered searching for Mike at night and she remembered talking to him while she slept. She wasn't sure how she'd done it but she was quickly learning that she was capable of more than she ever realized if her interactions with Terry were any indication.

"Oh…" Mike sounded a little disappointed but he moved on quickly. "That's okay. Anyway, um, I should probably go to sleep," He sighed regretfully. "I have a test in the morning. But are you feeling okay now? I can stay up a little longer if you need me to,"

"I'm okay," She said quietly, smiling in the way only he could make her.

"Good," He said, yawning. "Call me if you have any more bad dreams, though,"

"Promise,"

. . . . . . . .

"And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever…"