#1

Anxiety, the thing that used to control my life, "what if?" the phrase that robbed me of everything, it pushes me away from everything I want, into the corner of some room, no matter where I look all I can see, flooded with images of death, like everything in my life is screaming at me but the silence around is deafening. . .

the things I love, the things I want are torn down and ridiculed, the things i have drag me away from the things I want sacrifice being the only way forward and yet the people around me seem so. . . happy. I sit alone, the bus hissing in the parking lot. my body almost overflowing onto the next seat, each peak at it making me grimace at myself, I slid the headphones over my head, music rushing through as my escape. . . a two hour period of loneliness, yay. just as the bus was about to leave I felt something land next to me, the seatbelt sliding with the scraping noise and a satisfying click, her black hair flowed down her shoulders surrounding her face like a hood, its darkness shimmering in the light. It felt like someone had punched me with the force of a volcano, heat rushing through my body as her proximity registered. I turned my body, my head flooding with possibilities and questions.

had she chosen to sit here? should I speak? could she like me back?

the answer to each was no, of course. my head flashed to the side and i saw her phone, pain crushing through my body

4nne: 'hey where u sat?'

IzzE: 'near the front with Jake'

4nne: 'Ewwwwwwwww'

'The slug kid?'

IzzE: 'yh'

4nne: 'so gross what if he speaks to you???? wanna swap?'

IzzE: 'No but thx, it's only 2 hrs mark of a true friend tho'

I turned my head again, a sinking feeling flushing through me then a laugh resounding through my head, what were you thinking asshole? that she liked you? be real.

the next hour and a half were torture, everything I did felt like it was being judged, every movement felt excruciating, they say 70% of your body is water, but I sweated at least double that, but after a while... my suffering was over, I have no idea what happened, all I heard was a crash... then i saw a tree pass through the windshield, then heat... and it was all over. it felt nice, the cool breeze of death, the nice dark around me, i felt weightless, it was like nothing I had felt before.

then I heard her voice, it rang through and echoed

"hello?"

and with that, a door opened. the light flooded in my eyes burnt from the sudden burst of white. it could only be described as magical, before me stretched a forest to the west, flooding the ground with thousands of vibrant and emerald trees circling around a giant tree, one bigger than anything i could imagine, its branches casting shadows that could cover cities, the brightest green ever conceivable was placed delicately on the trees colossal trunk, contrasting beautifully with the fantastical brown was a huge viridescent crown. out of the door shone a beautiful pure blue sky blurring into my eyes, to the north was towering peaks, twisting and climbing around each other contorting into a frosted peak that seemed to pierce the sky.

IVE BEEN REINCARNATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I almost jumped for joy, my fists pounding into the air, free from my old life, I can be anything I want!!

my life as a -

my face thudded onto the floor, someone's foot pressing my body to the ground, my head being crushed under his shoe.

"Hey piggy, stop blocking the doorway some of us want to see!"

"man, this world is freaky, like something from a video game,"

"yea man that is one big ass tree."

"fuuuck man I saw this on TV once, this is a reincarnation... like we're dead."

"so this is heaven?"

"nah it looks like a different world, a fantasy world like in white dessert or hieroglyph scape,"

it only took a few minutes for people to accept their ne reality, there was crying and sobbing... jokes and questions, lots of questions. some of which I could've answered if there wasn't a shoe on my head. none of the teachers had been reincarnated, it was just us. the class president for some reason decided to come up with a plan and eventually I was freed from the humiliating position. I walked to a corner, and recited the words status, a blue window flashing in front of me. it said one thing,

'Job: Monk.'

and I left that room, my perfect new life crushed by everything... my world consumed by bullies and disadvantages, it was the best i could do to stop myself from crying.

... I suppose no world, no matter how magical, is for me. my feet stepped outside the cave, when my shirt was grabbed, and someone tugged at me, and i was pulled back inside.