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The Elemental's System

แฟนตาซี
Ongoing · 220.9K Views
  • 28 Chs
    Content
  • 4.1
    10 ratings
  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

Kael is supposedly lived his life normally. But before he was born, a tragedy took place on Earth. Meteorites abruptly descend from the sky, devastating the majority of the world. As if this were not enough, the animals begin to evolve uncontrollably into monsters. On the verge of despair, humanity suddenly found a light of hope. People with extraordinary powers emerges, and expel the monsters out of their lands. Kael Lys, born as a person with innate ability to control several elements. However, those powers were so trashed that his fire could only ignite a cigarette, water to flush his face, and electric that could charge his phone battery. Suddenly, on the same day he admitted as the Bintang Academy student, he received a mysterious message ringing inside his ears. [Assimilation is complete. The host will now begin to retain his memories.]

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PoeticSonic
PoeticSonicLv4

i don't wanna be too harsh because the author is clearly new to writing and English isn't his first language so i can relate lol...the story from a plot point of view has a lot of potential but the writing needs at least, the most basic amount of editing as their are a lot of mistakes many of which don't even have to do with grammar with things like names having a different spelling in two different paragraphs right after each other and that happened often. now for the stability, it's still kinda early but for now, it seems that the author is somewhat consistent. story development, it's your average cheat story but with all the cringe from all the worst cliches in eastern fantasy novels. i know it sounds harsh saying that to a new writer but putting like 90% of all the cliches ON PURPOSE as if they were a good thing in just the first few chapters, that's on you buddy, it has nothing to do with your skills. the MC is a dumbass and people around him make even less sense. he says things and does things for no reason at all and gets roasted for doing these things for no gain at all. the people around him are dumbasses who just hate on the MC just to hate even without knowing anything about him. the MC doesn't show his powers because "they are gonna make fun of me anyways" dude this is his entrance exam, he can later increase his powers anyway so rather than thinking he has 1 shitty element with 1/10 of the power of a normal person with the same power, they will find out that he has like 5 elements which would make him much more versatile or a foundation to argue that he isn't useless but no. let's hide my shitty powers form the school that's gonna teach me how to use them. world background, many things aren't explained or glossed over things aren't described much, and why things the way they are. with that all being said, it's not too bad for a new writer and as for the cliches, it's clear that you like them so it's up to your taste and the readers who like them. continue writing because that's the only way a writer can improve and clearly some people like your story so it's a chance to improve. I advise that you look back at the chapter you wrote as you go forward so you can improve on your past self. props to you, you took the first step which I still haven't taken.

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