chapter fifty one - slip of the tongue

The carriage journey back to their house across town was a particularly awkward one. Aurora did not wish to say anything which might result in any more... uncomfort.

Eventually the carriage rolled to a halt outside of their new home and Anthony hopped down from it, offering her his hand.

Once she had departed the carriage, he stormed off toward the house, leaving her standing in the cold, confused and alone.

‘I thought he wished to speak with me?’ She questioned to herself. In truth, she ought to have been glad that he did not wish to address her slip of the tongue which had occurred during dinner. But something made her hope that he would.

Regardless, he seemed to have changed his mind entirely, so Aurora headed up to her own room and began changing for bed, with the help of her maid.

Once she had finally managed to escape her corset, Aurora sat down at the vanity and began the long and complicated task of brushing her hair.

She was still only a third of the way through when a sharp knock at the room broke her focus.

Placing the brush down on the ivory vanity, she called out to the knocker.

“Come in.”

Turning in her chair so that she might be able to see who the person was who had knocked so late, she was surprised to see the viscount enter her room, still clad in his formal wear.

It would appear he did wish to speak with her after all.

Painstakingly slowly, Anthony moved across the room until he reached the edge of her bed where he sat down at the very corner. He appeared to be going to some lengths to sit on as little of the bed as he could physically manage.

Had the air between them not been so teenage Aurora would have probably struggled to contain a laugh.

As it was, his rather serious face prevented any mirth between them.

“Can I help you, my lord?” She asked after a moment, thinking it was probably best to get the whole ordeal over with.

“Yes, actually Aurora you can. I promised you we would speak about... earlier. And I am not a man to break my word.”

Aurora blushed profusely and began declaring her regret at the words she had spoken.

“I did not mean it’s sir. In truth I do not know what came over me. I must have felt flustered by the heat of the room, or something like that, I-“

“Aurora!” Anthony half yelled, for she had become increasingly frantic in her manner of speaking. Her discomfort was clear to them both.

“Yes?”

“You need not be quite so embarrassed. All you suggested was a kiss, albeit perhaps not in the most ideal of places, but still. We are husband and wife. Such things are no longer a crime.”

Despite his openness and attempts to console her, Aurora could not help but feel that there was a ‘but’ coming up soon.

“However-“

‘Ah, there it is!’ She thought, chuckling internally.

“I’m not sure you quite understand how these kind of marital...” he struggled for the word, “...acts work. I’m not sure you realise the gravity of it and I think perhaps you should ask you mother or even Daphne before we go any further.”

Whilst she could tell that he was trying to do the decent thing and protect her from - what exactly she wasn’t sure.

Getting hurt?

Becoming with child?

Either way, it was clear that he assumed she had no knowledge on the subject.

If that was the case then he didn’t know her brothers half as well as she thought he did.

All it had taken was a trip to one of the farms adjacent to the family estate for Aurora to learn exactly what occurred during the... process.

Although it did make her feel a little disinclined to partake.

But that was not the viscount’s decision to make. She knew exactly what kissing could lead to and she was perfectly capable of deciding for herself whether or not she wished to take that step within their marriage.

Besides, the thought of a little Anthony running around made her oddly content. She had not realised until now just how much affection she held for it. It had been coming on so gradually over the past few months that she had hardly noticed its presence.

With this newly discovered thought in her mind. Aurora rose from her seat by the vanity and made her eay over to where he was seated on the bed. After placing herself beside the Viscount, she turned and leaned in slightly towards him. Her intention was clear: she wanted to kiss him.

Yes, Aurora had now had enough of him telling her what to do. Although the emotional connection she felt had never fully been explained to her, she knew that she had liked the feeling of kissing him before. It had provided her with warmth and comfort, and most importantly... it her made her feel at home.

So why should it not become a more regular occurrence! She could not understand his determination to not kiss her.

Unless he had found it unpleasant?

She was broken from the rabbit hole of her thoughts by Anthony’s resolute voice.

“Stop.”

“Pardon?” She opened her eyes to see that he was staring down at her with a particularly serious look.

“Please do not do that,” he commanded her. Although the word please had been used, there was no doubt. He was telling her to stop.

“Whyever not?”

Her previous confidence and determination had now been lost at his words. Once again, Aurora succumbed to a feeling of immense embarrassment.

“Because it is not love that drives your affections. You have been overtaken with lust.”

“I do not understand,” Aurora took a couple of uncertain steps backwards toward the chair beside her vanity. Bumping into it, she slowly sunk into it.

“No. I can’t imagine it is something of which young ladies speak about,” he paused and steadied himself, “I do not think you are in love with me at present.”

“I-“ Aurora began.

“Please, do not interrupt me,” he chastised. “Our previous... display of affection seems to have clouded your mind and summoned thoughts which you would not usually be privy to. I do not wish for anything untoward to occur between us until I am quite certain that love is the cause.”

“Why? What is so horrific about this act?!” Aurora was now hopelessly confused at the metaphoric language he was using.

“Nothing,” he broke into a smile as he struggled to contain his own awkwardness. This had never been a difficult subject for him before and yet, it seemed different with Aurora.

When it came to her he felt like - like he wanted to truly know her. She was his wife, a bond which was sacred.

Indeed, he wanted them to have a marriage based on love. Nothing less.

“Do not trouble yourself, Aurora. I am tired - that is all. Perhaps you might join me for a promenade tomorrow morning?” A lightness had returned to his voice signalling to Aurora that her previous conversation had now been dismissed.

Nodding her head in agreement, Aurora was left to. Analyse the confusing events of the evening.

Shaking her thoughts from her head. She finished brushing her hair, trying to focus on the positives.

Tomorrow she would have her first lessons with the young ladies of the ton. And together they would make history.

****

Dear readers,

Gosh I have a terrible headache so I have no idea if anything I have written makes any sense at all - I really hope so.

I have to admit I’m really excited to focus more on the female study group as well as seeing more of Anthony and Aurora’s relationship developing in an emotional way.

I wonder what is in store for them next?

And how long will Aurora be able to hide her new group from the viscount?

Yours truly

Valentina