Like Junk

Nevelas kept forcing me to stand up, even though he knew my body was turning blue from the shower that I accidentally turned on in the cold. Unbeknownst to me, Nevelas turned the shower on to a warm temperature, then he reached for the shower that was still hanging. He splashed me, and I didn't move from my starting position.

However, the cold has been replaced with warmth. But, this soul feels empty. I feel like ending my life. Everything has been destroyed, I'm just a girl who can't fight back. Hate! Hate! That's the word that's on my mind right now.

"I'm sorry, Tatiana!" Nevelas said while applying shampoo to my hair. "Thank you for taking care of it for me," he continued in a gentler tone than before.

I couldn't answer... for what he was grateful for. While he treats me like junk. And I keep it not for him, but I should dedicate my holiness to Rangga. My first and last lover.

"Why are you silent, Tatiana? I'm sorry," he said as he kissed the top of my head. Getting Nevelas' treatment I hate him even more. I grabbed him and threw him into the corner of the bathroom. Maybe I'm crazy because of his behavior.

Brack!

"Ow!" Nevelas groaned as his arm hit the bathtub. The moment I saw him, full of hatred. Likewise, with Nevelas his gaze was much more frightening. He got up and forced me to stand up. Now my body and him there is no distance. He roughly grabbed the nape of the neck and brought his lips close to mine. Under the continuous pouring of the shower, Nevelas did it again.

He took off his pants, and I, well, didn't even have a thread covering me. So that it is very easy for him to channel his desires without bothering.

Nevelas runs his fingers through my hair. And put his head with mine. The roar of his breath was so clear, the warm breath from his nose felt warm against my lips.

"This is the second time, is the punishment because you have dared to hurt me!" His voice was so angry. His eyes fixed on me. Water continued to flow past his eyes which were held back by thick eyebrows. Why does it even amaze me? Maybe if he was a normal human, I would like him. Even when he was angry, his face was still handsome with fine hairs adorning it.

Without further ado he turned me around and pushed him against the cold marble wall. He did it again, without asking permission. I was just wide-eyed when something stabbed me in the back. Although, it's not as bad as the first one. But, still I feel angry.

"You like my game, honey!" I could feel his breath in my ear. No answer from me, I don't know what to do. Let him judge me like an innocent woman. Come on, I've never done that. After that he turned me forward. My legs are still shaking, so weak. This body feels tired.

Seeing me panting, he lifted my body and put it on his waist. Then he stepped into the bathtub.

"Down!" his order was short while lowering my body on the bathtub.

He pressed the button, for the warm water to come out to fill the bathtub. "Oh my God, do I have to serve him here again?" I whispered as I hugged my body which was shivering from the cold.

"Soak for a while, so that your body is not cold," he said flatly.

I started to lay down on the bathtub. Meanwhile, Nevelas went to the shower and cleaned his body. My eyes did not dare to look at him, even though the distance between us was not far.

After finishing cleaning up. Nevelas approached me wearing a towel kimono. He gave me a towel and kimono.

"Dry your body! I'm waiting for you outside!" His command sounded discordant in his ears again.

When Nevelas left me alone, I watched his back while shedding tears. I can no longer live in his torture.

My eyes wandered, looking around the room. In my mind now only one word. "I want to disappear from this life story, I don't care anymore. Is what I'm doing right or wrong?" softly again makes the brain and heart not think sane. I recirculated this netra, looking for something that could cut the veins instantly.

A flash of small light forced me out of the bathtub. Slowly I approached the object. "Ah, shards of glass!" I said so happy to see the pieces form a cone. I flipped through a small object that I imagined could take my life in a matter of minutes or even seconds.

I slowly stuck the splinter on my arm, aiming at one point. Heart beat erratically. "Goodbye world, I can no longer go through all this. All the events in my life only make me sad. I can no longer endure all the torment. I'm sorry Ana, Mom. Ana can't take care of papa. Ana can't be mama's proud child. Wait. ana, Ma. Wait, I ..." I whispered as I slashed my veins.

Fresh blood came out profusely, running down my arm. The pain didn't make me scream. My vision began to fade as my body weakened.

***

My head felt dizzy, I woke up from sleep. I slowly blinked my eyes. "Am I dead?" I asked. I saw my body wrapped in all white clothes. I smiled to myself. "Have I become a ghost?" My delusions swirled around in my mind again.

"Already up?" someone asked. I still remember clearly this voice. A voice I don't want to hear forever. I immediately turned my face to the source of the sound.

"Mr Nevelas? Why are you here?" I asked in a curt tone because I was so annoyed that even in the afterlife, he kept haunting me.

"You're in the hospital, honey," he said softly, rubbing his forehead to his head.

Hearing Nevelas say I'm in the hospital. I screamed as loud as I could.

"Why am I still alive? Did you save me? I want to die, Master!" my scream echoed through the wide room.

The tears kept running down my cheeks. I pulled the blanket over my body. Tighten the grip while biting it.

"Why did you save me?" I asked in a low voice. I couldn't look at him anymore.

Nevelas brushed my hair again and whispered something "Don't die yet, because you're not officially Mrs Nevelas Vernon yet, honey!" Firm words sounded terrible to the senses of hearing.

"I don't want to, sir!" I argue.

"But, I have chosen you, Tatiana. Don't try to run away from my life! Even if you try to take your life away. I won't let us get away with it!"

His baritone is getting higher and I'm just biting my lower lip. I'm afraid he will do something more sadistic when I'm legally his wife.

A knock forced me to glance at the door. While Nevelas immediately sat on the single sofa chair.

Two people wearing formal suits bowed their heads.

"Mr. Virza, welcome. Please have a seat!" Nevelas' voice was clear, welcoming a man.

One man passed me without looking at me. I thought maybe it was Nevelas' bodyguard because his stature was bigger than the man sitting with Nevelas.

I tried to hear what they were talking about. However, all that was obtained was chat about the business development of a Nevelas. Again he, won a big tender.

However, after that I heard Nevelas bully him. The screams of a man could be heard clearly under the blanket covering my body.

I was shocked and immediately opened the blanket. How surprised, when I saw Nevelas plunge a sharp object right into the palm of the man who was with him.