ch:27 Jason Carver

holy fuck- ... debating whether or not this was a good idea

TW! SA

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It is currently four in the morning. You haven't slept at all. 1) you weren't tired whatsoever. 2) you couldn't help but think about what Eddie had said. It brought you this overwhelming feeling of guilt.

You were in sweatpants and a bra. You grabbed a flashlight and walkie talkie just in case. You put them both in a bag along with your diary. You slipped on a black zip-up jacket, and hopped out the window. You checked to make sure that Max was asleep. She was passed out. You grab her bike and go on a long trail. You took the route Max told you. You found yourself back on the massive cliff. You dangle your legs over the edge. You sigh. There was no sun in the sky yet. It was dark on one side, and light on the other, but no pretty sunrises yet. You were about to put your hand behind you, but hit a rock. You were about to throw it, but realized there was a piece of paper there. You opened it up and it read.

"If you are reading this, I am dead. I just wanted someone to know what happened. I was raped by (name you can't read). I couldn't take it anymore. Give this to my family. -Tiana"

How sad. You wish you could make out the name. It had five letters, that you could tell. You smile and shove the paper into your jacket pocket. You will give the paper to the cops later in the afternoon. Color started to flood into the sky, motioning you to leave. You hopped on your bike and left for your house. You see a red car, slowly driving behind you. You bike a bit faster. You look to see whose in the drivers seat. You see a guy with blonde hair and a black eye. Fuck. Jason. He pulls up next to you. "What are you doing up this early?" he asks, driving the same speed as you bike. You stop. He reeked of alcohol. "None of your business." you spit at him. He jumps out of his car, and you begin to bike as fast as you can. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He tackles you to the ground. "Let me go!" you shout. He punches you as you squirm on the ground. He has got you in a position that you can't move. "Jason!" you screamed, "stop!" He wouldn't, he just kept going. You were aching in pain. You pulled his leg, making him unbalanced, and kicked him where it hurt. He winced on the ground for a moment as you run to your bike. You started to bike away as Jason got in his car. He stepped on the gas, straight towards you. No one was around. He hit the back wheel of your bike, causing you to crash and roll on the floor. "Ouch!" you scream. Jason jumped out of his car. He grabbed your wrists. "Let go of me!" you shout. He had a look in his eyes that just seemed like pure evil. He tossed you in the back of his car, shutting the door behind him. "What are you doing?!" you shout. You tried to open the door behind you, but it was locked. You bang on the windows. He began taking off your clothes. "No!" you shout, "Jason, stop!" You kicked and shouted, but he was strong. He slapped you across the face. You held your face. Jason grabbed whatever cloth he had near him and tied up your hands. "Jason, please." you begged. You were half naked now and crying. He wrapped his hand around your neck before you could say anything else, "you're such a slut." By this time, you've accepted your fate. You scream when you feel him inside you. You finally realized what the paper said. Who raped Tiana. It was Jason Carver. You try to push him off, kick him. Anything. He hurts you. Your legs were shaking violently. Your nails, scratching up and down his back with the pain of him stretching you out. You whimpered, waiting for him to finish. His hand tightened around your neck, not letting you breathe. "J-Jason," you cry. He doesn't notice that he's literally choking you. That was until you blacked out.

. . . . . . .

You woke up on the ground. On the dirt road to be specific. You were clothed, covered in your blood, and crying. You look at Max's bike, which was not in good shape. Your jacket was unzipped, revealing your bra and a million bruises. You can still feel his hands on you. You stood up, wincing. You flip off the sky. "You're supposed to fucking protect me!" you screamed at your dad, "you fucking coward!" You were feeling every emotion except joy all at once. Anger. Deep anger. Sadness. Guilt. Everything. You just wanted to give up. Take the easy route, like Tiana. You zip up your jacket and pull up the hoodie so no one could see. You walk your bike all the way back to your house. By this time, the sun was risen. Eddie walked out as you put up Max's bike.

"Jeez, did you ride it off a cliff?" Eddie says slithering his arms around your waist. You jumped. You covered your face. He let go. "You okay?" Tears were streaming down your face. "Where would I even start?" you think to yourself. Eddie turns you around, so you face him. He pulls down your hood. He lifts up your face. He's too shocked to speak. "I-I am sorry, please don't be mad." you try to say. "No, I'm not mad." He hugs you really tight worried that your scared of him after what happened. "Come here let's go clean those cuts. He picks you up and takes you to the bathroom and cleans the cuts and puts bandaids on them. "Ellie, I'm not mad, just please tell me who did this." You thought for a minute. You couldn't find the words to tell him. "Can I call Robin?" he looked confused, but nodded. You picked up the phone, "pick up, pick up, pick up." It was still a little early, at least for Robin. "Hello?" she answers. "Please come over," you say, pained. She could tell by the sound of your voice, it was serious. "3 minutes." she hangs up. You slide down the wall. All you wanted to do was cry. That was all you could do. A few minutes later, Robin opened the door.

"I came as quick as I could run," she says panting. Eddie looked confused. He really wanted to help you, but realized Robin was the only one that could. You took her to your room and turned on the faucet so no one could hear. "I went on a walk this morning," you began to tell the story. She listened to you with the most pained expressions on her face. "H-he raped me, Robin." you were bawling. You turned off the water. You were struggling to breathe. "Come here, Ellie." she pulls you into a hug. "Oh, god." you cry harder and harder with each passing minute, "oh god, I'm so sorry." "It's okay," Robin rubs your back. You are the striking image of pain. You are shaking, shattering. Robin is trying her best to hold together. "It's okay," she kept repeating it over and over again. Those words coming from her mouth were the only words you needed to hear. It became harder and harder for her to say it. Her voice begins to break. Holding you was like holding a shattering glass vase. You scream, all you anger slowly flowing out of you. Robin pats your back. You catch your breath to talk, "he had pure evil in his eyes." "He's dead to me, forever," she says. You pull the paper out of your pocket. "I found this," you say handing it to her. Her eyes widen as she reads. "Oh my god," she says with tears in her eyes, "this is a repeating act." You wipe your tears. Max walks in the room. She comes in and sits next to you. "Are you okay?" she asks. You tear up again. "I will tell you later," Robin fakes a smile. Max nods and looks at you. "I need to tell you something." You look at her. "When Billy died, I felt responsible for his death. I would lay in bed at night, and prayed something terrible would happen to him. But he did die, so when I laid in bed at night...I prayed that something would happen to me. That something terrible will happen to me." You hardly knew what to say. "I feel...terrible, I'm sorry." you say. "I realized that you can't live like that. You have to keep going, even though the world is literally a deathtrap." You looked down. Dying seemed so much easier. Eddie came in. "I'm sorry, I don't want to intrude." he says shyly. "It's okay," you say softly. He walks over to you. He kissed you softly on the forehead. You knew you needed to tell him. You felt he may be mad. You were scared of his reaction.You stand up. "I guess I better go to school." you say. You have a test in Kaminsky's class anyways. "Are you sure?" Max asked. "I've missed too much class," you say. You walk into your bathroom to cover up some of the cuts. Robin helped you put the makeup on. You put on different pants and wore the same jacket.

Eddie was very worried about you, but didn't press it. Robin and Max shook around in the back of the van. You were very late to first period. You got inside and Mrs. O'Donnell did not look happy. You instantly put your head on your desk until class was over. You softly cried. Eddie was staring at you the whole time. The bell rung and Eddie walked to you Kaminsky's class. Eddie passed you a note, "u ok?" "Pass your test, Eddie." you wrote back, deliberately ignoring the question. He looked down. You couldn't read the questions. Your eyes were hurting from crying. You could feel his hands on your inner thighs. You could smell his alcohol. You answered 4 questions when the bell rung. Eddie got up, but realized you weren't done. Kaminsky looked down at you and frowned, "you can stay in here to finish. It's my off period." You waved Eddie on. You knew most of the answers, but the process of doing them was taking forever. You eat the end of the zipper of your jacket. You just wanted to scream.

You finished right before the lunch bell rung. You took your stuff to the lunch room. Jason and his friends were laughing in the lunch line. He looked at you and pointed you out to his friends. You looked away and hid your face. You sat down with Eddie and the gang. You hadn't had a proper meal in 8 days. Eddie looked mad. Not specifically at you, but maybe because of you. He pulled you on his lap. "Ellie," he begged, "please talk to me." You really didn't want to cry. "I can't," you sniffle. "Bullshit," he says with a tear streaming down his eye. You don't say anything. Eddie looks down. Gareth looked sympathetic. It was kind of a surprise. Jason walked up to the end of your table. "Hello, slut," he laughs. Eddie looks like he could flip over a table. "Eddie, stop," you calm him down. "You haven't told him yet?!" Jason says surprised. Eddie looks even more confused. Jason was proud of what he did. You stand up and rush over to him. You pull him close with his collar and then punch him smack dab on the jaw. "Go to hell, Carver!" you shout. "You better not tell him," he mutters. "Or what?" you spat. "I will do it again!" he shouts. You punch him again. "If I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again I will kill you!" you shout. He didn't look phased, but did look hurt. You punch him again, but this time, just out of anger. And it felt really fucking good. Eddie grabbed you before you could do anything else. "That's enough," he says holding back your arms. Everyone was staring at you. Fuck.

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sorry...