Chapter 293

Scotland was beautiful. Hills and vast highlands. Pearl fell in love with it the last time she was there and now even more so seeing it in the daylight.

They pulled up to a large house in the country adjacent to a large and illustrious castle.

"Welcome to Craigowan Lodge." Sebastian said.

"Bash, it is unbelievable." Pearl said, smiling with delight.

"Is this your house?" She asked.

"Yes. Mine and my father's. And the castle actually. But I thought you might be more comfortable here." He said.

"It's beautiful." Pearl said. He led her inside and took her bag to the largest room. "You can stay here. It's the most elegant room." He said.

"How many rooms are there?" Pearl asked, looking around the massive home filled with art and antique decor.

"Seven bedrooms." He said.

"Oh, is that all?" Pearl jested.

Sebastian smiled and told her to make herself comfortable.

"Dr. Macleod will be here in about an hour. Try to relax. I'll put on some tea." He said.

"Thank you." Pearl said. She looked around the room. It was an old house, she could tell. The four poster mahogany bed was ornate and beautifully detailed. She unpacked her things and a knock at the door startled her.

"Pearl, the doctor is here." Sebastian said.

"Ok. Thank you." She said. She went downstairs and found a middle aged, incredibly attractive woman standing with Sebastian in the library.

"Pearl. I'm Gail. It's nice to meet you." She said.

"Hi." Pearl said, shaking her hand.

"I'll leave you to it. Thanks again, Gail." Sebastian said, kissing her cheek. Was it intimate? He obviously knew her. And why was it bothering her?

They sat down opposite of each other and Gail initiated the conversation.

"I hear you are a new mommy. How exciting." She said, making small talk.

Pearl rolled her eyes. She had enough of all this proper crap in her life.

"Gail, I'm not going to bullshit you. I'm depressed. My new husband wants nothing to do with my new baby. I'm divorced once from an abusive narcissist, and have a fake marriage to an Oscar winning movie star under my belt. I don't even know who my current husband really is, other than he likes to hurt women for pleasure and lie to me, his family is like a proper, diamond clad, tea toting mafia and I think I might have feelings for his cousin who clearly thinks I am nuts and have postpartum depression. I need help. A lot of it." Pearl said.

Gail's mouth dropped and her face looked shocked, but only for a moment.

"Ok then. Let's start with the cousin." She said, pulling herself together. She was good. And Pearl liked her, immediately.

After three and half hours of talking, Gail opened the library door and saw Sebastian sitting on a chair, waiting outside.

"Well? How did it go?" He asked, biting his nails.

"Sebastian, I would like to see her again. I think you should relocate her to this house for a few weeks. Maybe a month. I gave her some mild medication that is safe for breastfeeding to help with her depression and anxiety." Gail said. "She's been through a lot. A lot. And Sebastian, she is going to talk to you about a few things. Try to keep an open mind and please stay calm and understanding. She needs some extra care right now." She said.

"Ok." Sebastian said.

He thanked her again and walked her out to her car. "I will come by tomorrow." She said.

Sebastian walked back inside and saw Pearl, still sitting on the couch, with puffy eyes. She had been crying. A lot.

"Hey." He said. "How are you?"

"Thank you for forcing me to do that. Really. It helped so much." Pearl said.

"Of course. I was happy to help." He said.

"Bash, Sebastian. I need to ask you something. And whatever your answer is, it's ok. I want you to know that. And I also will understand if you hate me, too." She said.

He didn't understand what she could possibly mean.

"Ok. I promise. All of it. And I will never hate you." He said.

"Ok." She took a deep breath. "Do you have any memory of the night we spent drinking in the study after Erik went missing? About four weeks weeks before he came home?" She asked.

"Yes. We were doing research. We finished a bottle of scotch. Shit, maybe two. I remember waking up on the couch the next morning, your legs on my lap and your computer somewhere on us." He said.

"Try harder." She said.

He tried to remember the night. He closed his eyes and went back. He remembered the hangover. Her feet. Ah! Yes. He got up to pee at some point. He stood up from where he was lying, between her legs. He pulled up his pants...

"Oh my god." He said, covering his mouth. Pearl's face began to contort with shame and sadness.

"Did we? Did we? You know?" He asked.

"Bash, I think so." She said, sobbing now. "I remembered waking up and seeing you sleeping on the couch with me. But as I was telling Gail I had another flashback. I remembered the taste of your mouth and your weight on me. We were drunk. Really drunk. And an emotional mess. I'm not making excuses, believe me. But I'm telling you that I think we did." She said.

"Oh god. I, I am so sorry Pearl. I am a horrible person. Hit me. Slap me. Fuck! Why would I do that? What is wrong with me? He is my cousin. You were hurting. Oh god, Pearl. Please forgive me." He said, pacing around the room.

"You? Forgive you? Sebastian I think I might have initiated it! What does that say about me?" She said, wiping her eyes.

They both fell silent. Taking it in and trying to process it.

"Oh god, Pearl." He looked at her.

"Christian." She said.