Living Life Off Beat

For a second I was momentarily stunned. I felt the energy flex around my head to cover my ears and then all the sounds were lessened. I could still hear, but it didn't feel overwhelming at all.

"It should have already settled in. You should still be able to hear me fine. I set it so that it will fade out eventually, but by then your head should be feeling much better and balanced." She looked like she was about to get up from the bed. Now I felt bad. She probably started to leave because I said she was giving me a headache. But that was before the magic stuff, and now I have more questions.

'Okay! I'm awake again. NO! Don't leave! I want to learn how to do this crazy shit! TEACH ME STUFF!'

I panicked a little because I wanted to know more about magic. I decided that at the sacrifice of my brain to the possible harm of my mental health again, I would ask one more question. This time I really would pay attention, no matter how long Lynx drones on for, and I will have my answer

"Was that also magic like what Dr. Talis did?"

"Kind of. It was a different spell that uses mana to manipulate sound and takes years of practice."

"You never did tell me what magic was…" I try my best to make my face look like I was begging her for more, which I was.

"Ha… well seeing as I already gave you a headache, let me try to put it as simply as possible. Magic can be said to be the manifestation of will. It is the ability to manipulate the world around us using a power called mana that can be found contained within our souls as well as all around us. We perform magic when we use our willpower to control and move mana."

"Can you tell me more? Can you teach me?" I was interested because it sounds like something anyone can do.

"Didn't you just complain that you had a headache due to me talking?"

"Not any more now that you cast the magic." Really, it was more due to what you were talking about.

"Mmm Hmm..." She was doubting me. I could see a questioning look in her eyes.

"Please! I won't complain anymore! I will listen, I promise!"

"Okay then. I can tell you more but I won't be able to teach you anything right..."

"Why not?" That would mean that I would have to listen to har without being able to do anything, not much different than before.

"Well, given your current condition, your body and mind are not ready to attempt this. Not to mention that Dr. Talis said your soul might be in turmoil because your mind and soul are out of sync. Not to mention your current physical condition"

"Out of Sync?"

"It's like this. Your soul is 'Echo' what it holds are your talents and skills that are tuned to it. Your mind tells us what it means to be 'Echo' based on your memories and how to use the things within the soul. Your personality and willpower are a mixture of both mind and soul, an image of who you think you are as well as who you feel you are."

"Your thoughts and your emotions in every possible combination that make up Echo. Your body is the physical representation of both who you are in both mind and soul. Soul links to Mind, Mind links to Body. But just like the mind, when given too much unstable, sudden, or unnecessary stimulus, the soul can change or be compromised as well."

"But what does that have to do with me learning magic?" I ask as Lydia comes back with the painkillers.

"Due to outside trauma, you lost your memory. The original meaning of Echo that was complete has been lost or changed. The synchronization between your mind and soul had been forcefully removed. Your soul has a version of you backed up, but it is incomplete, which is why you act a certain way in certain situations or have instinctive reactions and expressions and remember certain things but not everything."

"Right now, your soul is trying to fill in what it can to re-establish the connection it has lost, but it is currently struggling because there has to be something there to connect to. Your mind is currently blank. Tell me, do you feel comfortable in your body?"

"Kind of. I feel like I can do basic things like walking, maybe flying, and perhaps even shifting. Beyond that, anything more complicated feels unnatural to me."

"The walking, flying, and shifting are all instinctive things that you can do through your soul because of the existence of your bonded animal. You are both two parts of the same soul, but you have different minds. If you had lost your human memories while in your animal form, the human part of you would have probably ceased to exist because there would only be one mind in her ideal body form connected to the soul. You share a body that you both manipulate using energy that comes from your soul, which is why most lycans can shift once their animals awaken."

"Movements that require a lot of thought or practice since you have no solid memory of how it is done. Muscle memory exists, but losses effectiveness over time if not practiced and will be sloppy if you are moving with no idea of what your body is trying to do. Plus, your body is currently recovering from injury."

"Yeah, but where's the magic?" As much as this helps me understand my situation, I really just want to learn to do magic. I suddenly start to yawn. I think Lydia gave me the tranquilizer instead. I will try to fight it off for as long as possible.

"Patience, Echo. I'm getting there. Remember, Soul links to Mind, Mind links to Body. Now, Willpower is the combination of the strength of the Mind and Soul to take mana from the soul container and use it, manipulate it, or transform it. It naturally starts to manifest inside the body when you come in contact with it using willpower."

"To use it outside of the body, the mind must have a deep understanding of the body as its host and commander, not in the sense that you know every part inside but that the mind knows the limits of the body. What is possible and what is not possible, knowing the difference between putting stress on the body and causing irreparable self-harm by going too far. Finally ending with how the body best expels energy."

"The reason the body acts as a medium leading to the outside when the mind works with the soul to move the mana is that it is in direct contact with the realm and reality, while the mind and soul are not. Some people will have a lot of mana, but if they don't train their bodies and know their limits, the mana will overwhelm the body and can cause certain side effects."

"Once you combine all this knowledge, you will understand why we can't just start with magic right away." She finally finishes and I start to think about what I heard because I want to be able to do magic someday. She turns her body to directly face mine and places her hands on my shoulders.

"I know that although you did lose your memories, I have a feeling that you still have the mindset of a person your age, so you should be able to come to your own conclusion based on what I told you if you were paying attention. Now, tell me what you got."

"Soul links to Mind and Mind links to Body. Mind plus Soul creates Willpower and manipulates mana. Willpower pushing mana out through the Body creates Magic." I look at Lynx for confirmation, she nods at me and motions to continue.

"My soul and mind are not synced because of memory loss, there is no link. So, there is currently little to no willpower. I can't completely control my body because the concept of controlled movements, motions, and reactions doesn't currently exist in my mind, and I do not have any idea of my body's capabilities. My body is currently not in the optimal condition to test my limits and practice control so I cannot complete the link between body and mind either."

"Very good!" Lynx smiles at me, but I just stare at her before she notices something is wrong with my reaction.

"What's wrong?" She asks as her smile drops.

"Where do I start to sync my soul, mind, and body? How do I start?"

I watch her as she breathes out a sigh of relief and smiles again as she strokes my fuzzy head.

"Well, isn't it obvious? You start by getting healed. You can't do anything if you are still stuck in bed. I will help you develop a new sense of identity because you lost your old one. Little by little, we will increase and develop the knowledge in your mind, and we will help you get new memories for the new you. Luckily, you already have a goal to strive towards."

"When did I say that?"

"When you wished to be strong enough to remember your past, to echo in response to your calling."

"I guess that does make sense. Okay then, I'll go with that."

"But I must remind you that while having a goal is good, do not let it rule your life. If you do It will become your cage and you would be able to truly live free." I nodded vigorously before the pain of rapid movements made my head spin. That didn't stop any of my enthusiasm though.

I didn't realize that the dizziness in my head and the painkillers I got earlier finally kicked in and did their job. I was falling unconscious again. I noticed that Lynx was still taking and tried to listen yet failed as the darkness swept over me. Wait, I still had more questions. I felt Lynx tuck me in and stroke my head as I fell deeper and deeper.

"3 days ago, I only gave you a name. A word without any real context. Right now, no one, including you, can say who you are. When the time comes, I hope to meet the person behind the name. To meet the person who will grow up as my daughter makes me feel unimaginable joy. "

"I look forward to the day when you tell me what it means to be Echo Swift."