Étonnant and Desperaux

"I just LOVE meeting people my own age! I do hope that we become to bestest of friends!"

✧˖°.✧˖˚▹ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ༺༄ؘ 　𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 11　༄ؘ༻ₓ˚ .୧ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୭˚▹ₓ˚.✧˖°.✧

"You see?" Jing Zheng said to me as Bobo stuck his tongue out at me without anyone noticing. "He's such a charming boy."

"A 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 boy," Mimi Zheng corrected her husband. "Lately he's been interested in local bird life."

"I bet he'll grow up to be a brilliant ornithologist," Jing Zheng guessed.

"What even is an ornithologist? He will be a doctor!" said his wife.

"A 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘵 doctor."

"Of course, Jing. You know that I meant a brilliant doctor, you didn't have to embarrass me like that."

"Who was trying to embarrass you? I wasn't!"

"Well then you're wasting time."

"I wasn't wasting time! It only took a second to point that out!"

"Then what were you trying to do? Why would you even take the time to say such a thing if you weren't trying to embarrass your wife?"

"You said that I shouldn't call you my wife when we're on duty!"

"And 𝘺𝘰𝘶 said that I was your wife whether we were on duty or not."

"Excuse me," I interrupted, "but if you don't have any more questions, I'd like to go to my room."

The Officers Zheng looked at me like I was some mouse that they were trying to get rid of but just couldn't, as if they were Tom and I, Jerry.

"We'll be keeping an eye on you two," Mimi Zheng said, pointing a surprisingly long finger, and after a brief argument about which Zheng would drive, the station wagon rattled away down the street and Shaniya stood up to discountenance at me.

"We haven't even stayed here for a day," she said, "and you're already in trouble with the law. I'm disappointed in you, Corlorown."

"I didn't vandalize a streetlight," I responded.

"That's not important," she said as she brushed her hair out of her face. "We need to move tonight."

"Let's look for a place with two separate rooms," I suggested.

"No, I mean tonight we need to be interlopers," she said, "a word here which means stealing back the Bloodcurdling Beast and returning it to its rightful owner."

"I think the statue 𝘪𝘴 with its rightful owners," I replied, not adding that fact that I had known what "interlopers" meant years ago because of a short story about a British man with a funny name. "I did some research at the library, and local legends say that the Bloodcurdling Beast is associated with the Wahalian family for generations. Plus, when Riley showed it to me, it looked very dusty, as if it hadn't been moved in years."

"Legends are just made-up stories," Shaniya told me scornfully, "and anyone can pour dust on something to make it look old. Some years ago, I had a case where two brothers were arguing over a seashell collection. The younger brother poured dust on the shells to try and prove that they were his, but I saw right through his ridiculous trick. In any case, it's all settled. I called the Trey mansion this afternoon and made arrangements with the butler. We will take the statue from the lighthouse and climb out the window to reach the mansion by the way of the hawser. The butler agreed to leave the window to the library open and signal us with a candle that all is clear so that we will deliver the state to him and the case will be closed."

I realized that it was probably not dust on the seashells, but sand, so it was likely that the younger brother was the true owner of them. I also realized that this was not a good time to say this.

My chaperone leaned in closer to me. "What you need to do," she said quietly, "is to break into the lighthouse sometimes this evening and wait inside. At the exact time of 12:00 AM, you will open the door for me and I will follow you to the item in question. This must go off without a word, Corlorown. People are watching us."

"You mean the Officers Zheng?"

Shaniya shook her head. "I mean someone from our organization. Wherever a chaperone goes, there is someone keeping an eye on things. You don't know this, Corlorown, but out of fifty-two chaperones, I'm ranked only sixth. If we solve this case quickly, my ranking will improve. Now, off you go. I'll meet you in the lighthouse at midnight."

"What about dinner?" I asked.

"I already had dinner, thank you."

"What about 𝘮𝘺 dinner?"

She frowned at me and started up the steps. "That's the wrong question, Corlorown. There are more important things than dinner. Focus on the case."

I watched as she entered Emerald Inn. It is very true that there are more important things than dinner, but it is hard to focus on those things when you haven't had dinner. I allowed enough time to pass for Shaniya to reach her room and then walked myself into Emerald Inn, wondering who in this small, fading town could possibly be watching us. The Law was standing under the statue of the armless woman with an eager smile on his face.

"Lovely evening, Mr. Corlorown," he said to me.

"More or less," I agreed, looking across the lobby. Shaniya had said that she called the mansion, which meant the phone had not been in use. I hoped that this was the case again, but a woman with a mink coat was talking into it.

"Is there another telephone anywhere nearby?" I asked The Law.

He gave me a small shrug. "Regrettably, no."

"Well, could you give me a ride someplace?"

"Unregrettably, yes," The Law replied, "for a small fee, of course."

There may be a town in which old buttons in my pocket would count as a small fee, but I knew Murthorn Maine was not that town. I gave The Law the sort of thanks that doesn't mean, "You have been very helpful," but more of, "I didn't want to say 'Thanks for nothing' because that would be quite impolite, so instead I just said 'Thank you' with a slightly sharp tone, so hopefully you know that you have done nothing to better my day." He wandered away from me and I walked back out of Emerald Inn and stood out on the street wondering what to do when a busted car pulled around the corner and stopped right in front of me. It was the dented yellow taxi that I had seen earlier. Up close its dents looked worse, with one of the doors so banged up that I could hardly read the words 𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙶𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙰𝚇𝙸 printed on the side.

Usually in these situations, I would run as far as I can because when a car parks just in front of you, it usually means a kidnapper is behind the wheel, ready to snatch you up. Fortunately, I decided to stay because of how weak I felt.

"Do you need a taxi, my friend?" asked the driver who looked a little younger than I was. He had a friendly smile and a tiny scab on his cheek, as if someone had given him a hard poke. He wore a yellow cap that was way too large for him, and read 𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙶𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙰𝚇𝙸.

"I'm afraid I don't have any money," I said.

"Oh, that's fine," the boy replied. "With the way things are going in this town, we usually ask for tips."

"Are you allowed to drive at your age?" I asked.

"We're substituting for our father tonight," the boy responded. "He's sick."

"𝘞𝘦? Who's 𝘸𝘦?"

The boy gestured for me to come over, and I leaned into the taxi to see that he was sitting on a small stack of books to reach the steering wheel. Below him, crouched on the floor of the car, was a boy who looked a little younger, with his hands on the car pedals. His smile was slightly wicked around the edges, as if he were the sort of person to occasionally poke his brother in the cheek too hard.

"𝘞𝘦 is my brother and me," he said in a very high voice. "I'm Étonnant Fergistein and up there is my big brother, Desperaux."

I told them my name and tried to pronounce theirs. "Nothing personal, but your names are sort of a tongue twister. What do they call you both?"

"They call me Éto," said the brother holding the steering wheel, "and my little brother, Squeak."

"That's because I work the brakes," squeaked Squeak.

"Of course," I replied. "Well, Éto and Squeak, I need to get to the lighthouse."

"The Wahalian place?" Éto repeated in other words. "Sure, hop in."