Log I | "Who Am I?"

I dreamed, dreamed of flying. Flying high in the skies to where no one could get me, disturb me: harm me. I felt free, I felt, happy. Everything seemed perfect, as I sailed above the clouds and tried catching a piece of misty cloud, which wet my hand and felt cool and smooth. Everything darkened though, before I found myself in bed, a bed. For this wasn't my military bed. I looked to my left, seeing everything untouched since I fell asleep, and grabbed my watch from the nightstand. Check up on the time I thought, for what's wrong about checking up on the time. Wouldn't be too early right? I was wrong, so I groaned in displeasure, it was 4 in the morning! 4 in the morning! As though I seemed hardwired and destined to be the earliest awake. Yet I wanted to sleep in, sleep in and not care for anything else. Just care for someone, but I don't... I mean can't remember. For some reason, I've never been able to recall who I cared for.

It was like they meant nothing to me, as though time and space didn't want me to know this people. "Come on!" I whispered to myself, as I tried hard to recall on who these people were. But I couldn't find names that seemed relevant or stuck. Any matter than even seeing names that seemed connected, we definitely not there. It was like I knew no one, nothing. As though all I remembered was my training and my education. Which sucked, since I really wanted to know who I cared for. I don't like when it's anonymous, and can't figure it out in the slightest. I groaned once more, rolling on my side as I kept trying.

But after awhile of this, the sound of rustling and a door slamming wide open could be heard. Making me almost jump as I kept calm and stood still. It sounded inhumane, the breathing I mean. It sounded like a fish's breathing, yet monstrous and terrifying. I tried reaching for my gun, which was a shotgun since I felt like it'd be the better choice with where I'm going. I started to train my thought on how loud the rustling was, making sure I could move as I loaded a shell. Once I heard the metal trap click and tell me I loaded the shell, the rustling went horrifyingly quiet. Did it hear me? Must mean it's inhumane right? Right?

I started to slightly panic, feeling my hairs stick on end as I felt my fight or flight response kick in. And just as I did, the, now revealing, monster jumped into view as I racked my shotgun and fired. Only to have the monster hit my gun away and pin me to the ground, all before I could shoot! My left eye glowed in fear as I felt it's sharp bladed fingertips dig into my arms. Making me yell in pain as I had my arms defensively up, trying to keep its mouth away from chomping down on my head.

Seconds passed by and I was getting nowhere, so I kept one arm in defense and added my feet to kick the monster away. Sure enough I gave enough force to send it into the vertical wall behind it, making it roar as it's hands were ripped out of my arms. Making me hiss and yell as I reached for my knife that was sheathed on my chest. As I pulled it out the monster returned, digging in new spots in my arms and widening others as I lost grip of the knife. Hearing it clang out of my view, now that's what terrified me, as I struggled to survive. I then summoned a GB, before using it to ram and pin the monster down. It successfully worked as it ripped and widened wounds on my arms more from the dislodging of its claws, yet again. Making me scream in pain as I backed away.

The monster quickly escaped by crushing the GB, then finishing me off by stabbing me through the heart. Earning a final bloodcurdling cry before my vision faded to black. Everything swirled and swam around me, before I awoke quickly to the same surroundings. Everything was so fast, making me want to yell in panic as I tried calming myself. What was that?! What just happened? Was that a dream? No. No, no, no, that felt too real. That must mean... I quickly got up, grabbing my shotgun as I quickly racked it and exited my room. I aimed to the sudden sound of rustling before earning a dying roar as I pulled the trigger, killing it instantly. It's dead, phew. Now what the hell just happened? Everything was in the gray. Where was I, what just happened, who could do such a thing?! Was that time rifting? No, impossible? That's just fable and fantasy StärGaze, there is no such thing as time travelling you belligerent fool! Could there be though? I then stopped thinking, moving forward as I racked one more shell, and fired. Making sure it was dead as I aimed for the head.

Heading back into the ruined room I slept in, I looked to my left. Seeing an ornament of furniture, rather molded laundry baskets of all shapes and sizes, accompanied with a desk, lightly propping a bunch of burnt cardboard to the gray wall. Looking to the window, the curtains that hung were shredded from years of decay and mold. A TV propped slightly to the left, on the adjacent wall, on a mobile stand that had a lower platform stood in front of it. To the right of the room, and in the farthest corner from the door, was a fixed night stand that had two open levels. The top had a toy tag rifle that was once a famous thing to play with, an old night clock from the late 1900s, a box that would contain glasses in front, gum back slightly behind the glasses box; and to the right, three pill bottles making a pyramid at the left edge of the top floor. The box supposedly containing glasses was being accompanied by a melted chap-stick in front. Then a bed to the right of said nightstand, which was propped against the wall in front of me and to the right, then left of all that and more slightly in front of the nightstand by a few feet, was a charred plastic fan that was never gonna be used again.

War caused everything that I saw before me. Showing the cruelty and destruction we beings who call this planet home, can cause to the produce we make from the planet's dwindling resources. It was a tragedy, but so is life. Everything was a tragedy as I grabbed my things, and finally killed the curiosity surrounding the glasses container. I opened to find nothing but a cleaning lens rag molded from an opening in the plastic. Sad, where did the glasses go? Somewhere I guess... But resuming the mission like a good soldier, I packed whatever I left out. Looking to a green bookshelf to the left of me, all the way opposite of the window next to the farthest left corner of the room, which held up a guitar as it leaned heavily to its left. It was on its last legs, the bookshelf that is, not long before it would break. But not because of me. Only time would tell when it happened as I slung my filled backpack over my back, and exited the room, then the house, and into the wasteland I daily roamed. My mission required intel, craved it as I needed to reach a base camp and deliver a radio for that camp to receive messages from Mother Base. For it would surely perish without the news going out throughout our side. They needed to know, and I was their only key to knowing such deep knowledge they needed.