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One I've Been Praying

"I'm breaking up with you" 1 sentence, 5 words, tore my heart into pieces.

cllynmy · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
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16 Chs

08

After my confrontation with daddy, umuwi muna ako para makapag bihis at para na rin maibalik ko ang mga gamit na dala dala ko mula Bataan hanggang Moalboal sa bahay. Dad wanted me to rest first bago bumalik sa hospital pero nagmatigas ako. I don't want to stay at our house knowing that Miru is still lying in a hospital bed.

Daddy also contacted his friend which is an oncologist to help us with Miru's case. He said the same thing. That Miru should receive a treatment he needed and that they should perform chemotherapy as soon as possible.

When I arrived at the hospital, gising na si Miru. Tita excuses herself saying may tatawagan lang daw siya. But I know for sure she went out just so me and Miru could talk.

I breathed heavily as I walked towards him. He's just looking at me, eyeing every move I do. I wanted to hug him so bad but I stopped myself. I can't let my emotions reign. We both need to talk. I needed to convince him to do chemo. I sat on a chair beside his bed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm good." He said.

"Please don't lie."

"I'm not lying. I really am good... I actually felt better when I saw you"

Tears are forming in my eyes again. I looked down at my trembling hands. I inhaled deeply and looked at him again.

"When I felt the pain, all I think was you. When I felt my body loosing its composure and before I... before I passed out ikaw yung iniisip ko. Kasi baka... baka hindi na kita makita ulit." He said.

I wiped my tears and hold his hands. I didn't said anything. Alam kong marami pa siyang gustong sabihin.

"Noong umalis ka sa Bataan, noong iniwan mo ako sobrang takot na takot ako. Kasi baka this time... kasi baka this time talagang sumuko ka na sa akin." He said and then wiped his tears. "Akala ko kaya ko eh. Akala ko kaya ko na wala ka... hindi pala."

"I love you so much Bella. So much that I always asked God kung bakit ako yung nagkaroon ng ganitong karamdaman? I love you so much that I always pray to God na sana... na sana bigyan pa ako ng mas mahabang panahon para makasama ka.

Please, alam ko sobrang nasaktan kita noong nakipaghiwalay ako sa'yo at noong umalis ako ng walang paalam. Pero pwede bang wag mo na lang akong iwan? Pwede bang... Can you not leave me alone?"

I stood up and hugged him tightly. Umupo na rin ako sa hospital bed niya so I could level myself unto him.

"I won't. Miru kung gusto kitang iwan diba dapat ginawa ko yun noon pa? I love you so much that I'm willing to stay and fight with you. Cancer lang yan, si Miru ka. Kaya mong labanan yan. Daddy contacted an oncologist to–"

He shooked his head. "I don't want to receive–"

"No. You don't want pero you need chemo. Sabi mo diba, gusto mo wag kitang iwan? Then magpa chemo ka. I won't ever leave you. You need to fight Miru, please fight para sa akin. Para sa mommy mo. Para sa sarili mo."

He hugged me tighty. Iyak lang ako ng iyak. Paano kung hindi ko siya makumbinsi? Paano kung ayaw na niya talaga? Hindi siya pwedeng sumuko, hindi niya kami pwedeng iwan. Ako, si tita, si daddy, kami lalaban kami para sa kanya.

We stayed in that position for almost 20 minutes. He's just hugging me and caressing my back.

"Yun ba talaga ang gusto mo? You want me to... to do chemotherapy?" He asked.

Kumawala ako sa yakap niya at tinignan siyang mabuti. I nodded.

"Okay then. I'll do chemo love." He said.

I smiled and hugged him again. I knew it! He only needed someone to push him to receive his treatment. Siguro tita didn't force him pero I'm not tita. Kung kina'kailangang pilitin ko siya araw araw gagawin ko. After all, this isn't for me, it's for him.

_____

Later that day sinabi na agad namin kay tita na magpapagamot na si Miru. Tita was really really happy kaya naman sinimulan na agad bigyan ng treatment si Miru.

I stayed by his side. Hindi ko siya iniwan. One week din siyang nanatili sa hospital bago siya pinayagan ng doctor na umuwi. I never wanted to leave him kaya pumayag si daddy na manatili ako sa bahay nila tita. But dad had a condition. Papayag siya na doon muna ako tumira basta't sa ibang kwarto ako matutulog.

I agreed, yun din kasi ang gusto ni tita. Both of them are too traditional kaya naman naiintindihan namin ni Miru.

I helped tita took care of Miru. It was the least that I could do. Ako palagi ang nagpapa-inom ng gamot kay Miru. I was really precised with time and his medication. I am also the one who cooked his foods. I see to it na healthy lahat ng kina kain niya.

Minsan nga naiinis siya kasi maraming bawal sa kanya. But I always made sure to explain to him kung bakit bawal ang mga yun. I know he wanted to be free from all of these, but because of his love for me and his mom, ginagawa niya lahat ng ito.

"Love, kailan ka mag a'apprenticeship?" He asked.

We're here now at the garden. Parehas kami na nag sketch ng kung ano ano.

"I don't know. Ayoko muna–" he cut me off.

"Ayan ka nanaman eh. It's been three months since we graduated. Dapat ngayon nasa field ka na at nagpa'practice"

I looked at him. "Love ayoko nga muna diba. Kung magsisimula na ako sa apprenticeship ko magiging busy na ako. At ayoko ng ganon. Alam mo namang–"

"It's because of me, right? Because of my condition?" He asked.

I didn't answer him. Totoo naman eh. Mawawalan ako ng oras sa kanya kapag nakapagsimula na ako. And I don't want that.

"You can't stop your dreams for me. Alam mong ayoko ng ganun." He said.

"Love, I promised you that I'll be with you habang nagpapagaling ka diba? I promised to never leave you. The moment na magtatrabaho na ako, magiging busy na ako. Mawawalan na ako ng oras sa'yo and I don't want that, okay?"

"You could still take care of me even if nagsimula ka na. Love, two years ang apprenticeship. After that saka ka palang makaka take ng boards. If you're not going to start now, then when? Hanggang sa ma okay ako? Paano kung hindi na ako–"

I stopped him. "Magiging okay ka."

"Okay... Pero ayokong ma delay ka dahil sa akin. You wanted me to be treated, and so I did. Now I want you to start your apprenticeship and finish it so you could finally take the boards and get that license." He said.

I inhaled deeply and hold his hands.

"Yun ba talaga ang gusto mo?"

"Yes love" he answered.

"Okay lang kahit magiging busy ako?"

"Yes love" he said and nodded.

"Okay lang kahit madalas na akong umuwi ng gabi galing sa shift ko?"

"Yes love" he said.

"Okay lang kahit may manligaw sa aking katrabaho ko?"

"Yes lo–" he stoped when he realized what I just said. His forhead creases and then he glared at me.

I laughed at his reaction. Sobrang epic na ngayon ng mukha niya! He's glaring at me while pouting his lips.

"Yun talaga iniisip mo no?" He said. Kunwari nagtatampo.

"I was just kidding love hahaha threatened ka naman masyado." I said jokingly.

"As if. Hindi mo ako ipagpapalit kahit kanino. Patay na patay ka kaya sa akin." He ssid confidently.

"Talaga ba? Paano kung..." I said slowly.

I didn't finish my sentence intentionally. I laughed at his face full of worries.

"Love naman eh! Hindi ko iniisip yan kanina tapos ngayon hindi ko na alam! Dapat talaga magpakasal na tayo!" He said.

Tawa lang ako ng tawa hanggang sa ma realize ko kung anong sinabi niya. What?! Did he said magpakasal or mali lang ako ng dinig?

"Wait what?!" I asked.

He stood up and grabbed my arms so I could stand up with him. Kinuha niya ang isang maliit na box at binuksan ito. Showing me a beautiful ring.

I gasp at that! It's a ring! Mag po'propose na siya. He then kneeled his right knee and then look up at me.

"Love, this is not how I planned my proposal. It should be in our cafe where we first met, where I first confessed my love for you, where you said yes to become my girlfriend. Pero nandito na tayo eh hindi ko na mapigilan.

When I found out that I'm dying sobrang nasaktan ako. Hindi para sa sarili ko kundi para sa mga pangarap na binuo nating dalawa. I was so certain na hindi ako magpapagamot kasi diba mamatay din naman ako so bakit pa ako mag-aaksaya ng pera?

But you being the strongest girlfriend of mine, never gave up. Diba sinundan mo pa talaga ako sa Bataan para lang malaman ang lahat."

I smiled as I remember my not-so-happy trip in Bataan. I nodded and wiped my tears.

"I was already giving up. I was already accepting the fact na wala na talaga. But you came like a hurricane, destructing all the doubts and worries I had in me. You give me hope, love. You give me a reason to fight. And I thank you for that."

He wiped his tears and holding the small box tightly.

"I don't know kung hanggang kailan ang buhay ko. I don't know kung gagaling pa ba ako. Actually ang dami kong hindi alam. Ang daming uncertainties sa buhay ko ngayon.

But one thing is for sure. I love you. I love you so much that I'm gonna do everything to win this battle against leukemia."

"My love, my Isabella Lopez, my future architect. Will you do the honor of becoming my wife? Will let me stay with you for as long as I live?

Love, will you marry me?"

I wiped my tears again, sobrang blurry na ng paningin ko dahil sa mga luhang ayaw tumigil sa kakatulo.

"Yes. Yes! Yes I will marry you!" I said as I smiled so happily.

"Alam ko duh" he said playfully.

Hinampas ko nga siya. Tignan mo 'to ang ganda ganda na ng moment, sirain ba naman dahil sa katarantaduhan niya.

"Love eh ang ganda ganda na ng moment!"

He only laughed and slid the ring into my finger. He hugged me tightly and kissed me on my forehead.

"I love you so much. More than anything in this world. I love you, more than life itself."

***

:)