Not the rose she wanted

The birds are flying so high clashing and smashing into each other ,wandering and spreading all over the morning sky creating beautiful yet captivating "canvas" but never like Asma's canvas which always look lonely and blank. Asma sat there on a wooden bench under a tree looking at the clourfull birds

together with the clouds up in the tremendous sky .

"Um what was the shape of that cloud again?"

"What was it called again?"

"What was that bird again?"

Questions were the only thing going on inside Asma's mind as she looked up at the sky.

"Asma!!"

someone shouted from behind her in a chirpy voice,but Asma being the black"canvas"she always was doesn't even blink an eye to know who called her name.

"Asma get up already you've been here for almost an hour looking at those birds,Yalla let's go we can't be late for lectures you know"

beamed Fateema as always being a bubbly person, Fateema the girl who always keep up with Asma's boring life,the girl who doesn't see her as a freak or weird as others termed her, she was always trying to make Asma's life a bit lively,though she always fail to do so but she doesn't give up on her.

"Asma!"

she nagged coming to her side.

After some few seconds Asma raised her dull doe hazel eyes making contact with Fateema's black ones.

"Okay"

her first word of the day. Adjusting the strap of her bag she stood up and started to walk away not waiting for Fateema.

"Hey what was that, I mean you haven't even say hy to me today"

Fateema whispered yelled with a smile ,following her.

"Hi"

her second word.

"Okay that's it for now babe let's hurry to the hall"

replied Fateema hooking her arm with Asma's own and jogging to the class.

                |||

The crack sound of opening and closing the door was heard all over  the house.

     "SalamuAlaikum"

she said inaudibly as she removed her shoes and walk silently through the hall way.

     "Asma!! I warned you every time about saying salam inaudibly right?"

   This made Asma to stop from walking up to her room.

       "Sorry"

she uttered not caring whether her mom heard or not and started walking away again.

        "You should go shower and come down for dinner okay?"

Came her mom's voice from behind her holding a dish towel in her hands. She turned looking at her mother's lanky figure. Her lips parted , and she answered "okay" dragging her feet away to her room and closed the door.

Her mom stood there for about 30 seconds lost in her thoughts when she heard the doorbell rang ,releasing a long sigh of despair she made her way to the door.she opened the door with no trace of smile on her face.

  "Why do you always like stressing me Uhm?Ahmad a common door you can't open it by yourself and I know you always have your keys"

she muttered getting away from the door making her way back to the kitchen.

  "Waalaikum salam Maama at least smile for your beloved and handsome son here ,after a whole day at work I really need that refreshment"

Ahmad said smiling widely like a Cheshire Cat, closing the door behind him,he followed her to the kitchen.

      "Where is Asma"

       "In her room"

she replied without looking back at him

        "Maama I know you are trying so hard to not show your worries, I know you in and out, please don't loose hope okay?, stop stressing yourself,keep praying"

Ahmad hugged her from behind placing his chin on her shoulder

     "I know,but I can't help it everything is as it for over six years,since your Baba left she doesn't show any change"

she sniffed and closed her eyes to absorb the situation

   "Let's put all our faith in Allah, Insha Allah a day will come where she will go back to how she was ,let's wait patiently okay?"

He turned her around and clear her tears away

   "Look at your beautiful face all stained now, Maama you should smile more often, I love that unique smile of yours it makes my little heart flutters"

he winked looking at her with his signature smirk.

          "You!"

She chuckled sadly shoving his arms slightly away from her.

          "Go call Asma, Food is ready"

she said placing plates on the kitchen's island.

          "Okay"

     he answered

    "Here I come princess" he shouted all his way  to upstairs.

|||~

"When the sun has set,No candle can replace it" George R.R.Martin.

The quote that's roving in Asma's mind as she witnessed the sun set sitting in her balcony holding the treatise 'Heroes of Olympus:The Mark of Athena' by Rick Riordan in her hand.

Ahmad opened the door to her room gently looking around the room that has no sight of Asma, with squinted eyes he quickly processed that she must be in balcony admiring the beautiful twilight and mediating with heart in mind. He made his way to the balcony and leaned on the door frame making his presence known with "salam"

    "Waalaikum salam" replied Asma her eyes fixed on the sun building a yellowish hue color in her hazel iris.

        "Nothing is so painful to human mind as a great and sudden change"Ahmad quoted as usual. This has been their daily routine whenever they met,challenging each other about their thoughts,knowledge,asking each other many things about life,books,movies,journals.articles and different philosophical topics.

     "I Frankenstein,Mary Shelley 1818"

      "Bingo!! You never cease to amaze me" He clicked his two fingers making a sound as a smile overtook his handsome face.

       "How about pain?" Came her question

        "What about pain?" He questioned back pinching the space between his brows.

        "Tell me about it"

hearing this he made his back straight and transferred himself to the Finn sling chair adjacent to hers.

        "Pain....." he started

"Pain is a complex experience consisting of physiological and psychological response to noxious stimulus. Although pain is defined as a sensory and emotional experience,it is traditionally researched and clinically treated separately from emotion. The pain that has to do with emotion is called psychogenic pain, it used to describe a disorder attributed to psychological factors such things as beliefs,fears,and strong emotions which can cause increase or prolong pain. Pain is a general term that describes uncomfortable sensations in the body"

he kept quiet for seconds looking at her before he added

    "Pain consist of many things and is a broad term, there is one quote from 'Naruto' that says 'sometimes you must hurt in order to know,fall in order to grow,lose in order to gain because life's greatest lessons are learned through pain'.

        "You really are my brother" she unknowingly praised

     "As always" he said in fake thick British accent laughing to himself. He stood up stretching his hand towards hers for her to take

   "Yallah get up that's enough for today , some other time insha Allah, we can't make Maama wait, let's go have dinner"

     "How is it? To feel pain, wanting to experience it " Asma muttered slowly while putting her hand into his,regardless Ahmad heard her.

      "Don't pray for that" he said as he clasped her hand and walked out of her room

       "I am not" she dully  replied

|||

"You really took some much time than I expected" their Maama said microwaving the food

   "Sorry we were discussing about somethings" Ahmad said taking a seat opposite Asma.

Maama served the food and sat back to her seat. They ate in silence until Maama decided to break it

     "Asma" she called.

Asma raised her head from her plate looking at her mom with a questioning gaze.

    "Tomorrow is your thera..." she started when Ahmad interrupted

     "Maama not now please" he looked at her with pleading eyes,she glared at him and continued.

     "Tomorrow is your therapy day don't forget about it" without any moment of thought Asma said.

    "I am not going Maama"

     "Why?"She asked dropping her spoon down

     "I am not sick,I don't feel sick"

      "You won't know unless you try"

       "I don't need it" she said getting up from her seat,dropping her plate in the sink and walked away to her safe heaven 'her room'.

Her mom sat there in daze looking at her plate blankly. Ahmad put his hand on hers rubbing her knuckles

      "I will talk to her and convince her insha Allah okay? Don't take it too hard ,have some rest, good night I love you." He stood up kissed her forehead and walked to his room.   

Khadijah Zaeem their Mom sat there in daze her mind flashing back to six years when everything started.....