My Life Isn't Perfect

My name is Alex Zen I have trauma to firearms, namely pistols. I have bad memories, when I was 7 years old my grandfather was killed in front of my own eyes using a gun by someone I didn't know. With feelings of sadness and anger I took the wooden sword that was beside my grandfather and swung it towards the 2 meatball balls of the person who killed my grandfather with a samurai-style move, the attack hit the target right on the criminal. As a result the criminal released his gun and grimaced in pain while holding his crotch, seeing the opportunity came I immediately took the gun that fell and pointed it at the criminal's head and shot him without hesitation. This spontaneously traumatized me with the Pistol. After that incident I was always shunned by people around me and always ridiculed. From elementary school to high school, I was always hated because of the things I experienced as a child. Right now I live with empty feelings without knowing what to do. My passion for life has disappeared .. Until an event arrived that made me have to save a girl which caused me to meet again with a gun so that my trauma appeared. will my meet with him can change my life?