Thoughts

Speech - inner thoughts

'Speech' - talking inside of mind/telepathy

"Speech" - talking outloud 

Speech - narrator

"I'll leave for some time" Yup, confidently cut off all his attempts to stop you. "Give me the key" Still, don't want to lose my newfound place of free loot.

"Sure, but your workload tomorrow will increase." *beep* Got the key, and more training in the art of craftery. And I barely said couple of words. I am the greatest orator in the Omniverse. Not. But still, my goal is reached.

Okay, back to running. First, stretc. . .wait, do I really need it? Let me check. . .yup, no discomfort at all, presumably my body is always ready for physical stress. Good news. With that dealt with, second step. Music. Funnily, or not, that's the only thing that 'Chris' had in perfect order. Finally, some personality similarities. Anyhow, where is 'Shuffle'? Ah, there you are. And now, run, Chris, run.

*1 hour later*

*Somewhat erratic breathing* Okay, my body right now is definitely average. Additionally, my body has limited stamina. I needed, like, 5 full stops just to get to a point where an elevator would deliver me in about 1/6 time that it took to use stairs for me. On the other hand, thank the stairs for existing. I mean, if an elevator was unavailable, I would be stuck at. . . wherever I was at that moment. Plus, no riding that thing without a necessity. Which is now, because I'm exhausted. Need to rest.

.

Wow, now that's some view. Night version of Citadel, the upper one at least, is basked in artificial lighting. It feels like I'm sitting in the park at a night time. And just above me is weirdly great mix of the sci-fi and nature. Those . . . tentacles of the station, and stars on the black space blanket. Amazing.

"You're now trying to do your thing with the station?" And I'm interrupted, of course. Why not? Why does he sound familiar, though? Let me take a look. . . That cop guy. Well, you get a stare. Side-stare, I'm too tied to turn my head. Or lazy. Be thankful, as the glare is not appropriate, for now.

"Please, not again. I'm sure we can talk things through" He'd. . . actually raised his arms. Ok, your reaction was a fine tribute, so I won't retaliate. Yup, just gonna continue admiring this view.

"Okay, jokes aside, you can talk, right? 'Cause otherwise that's not you being weird, that's me being a dick" He actually looks kinda . . .sad. No, that's not it. Remorseful? Yup, this is it. I'll give him that, he's sincere, at least. Might as well. . .

"I can talk, just not fond of doing so." Hope he'll catch my hidden meaning and let me. . .

"Oh, good. So, why are you trying to do your 'eye thing' to the sky?" Expected. Also, my 'eye thing'? Go f*bleep*k yourself.

"Admiring the view" C'mon, leave already. You'll destroy the impression.

"What do you mean? It's a sky. I would've understand if you were looking at the krogan statue. I would judge you, but it would make sense. But there is nothing in the sky." Well, I agree with the krogan part, but the other part. . .

"That's because you do not wish to waste your time trying." Oh yeah, and that shut his mouth. Look at him, he now stares at me, who is 'eye-molester' now? Maybe, if I elaborate, he'll live.

 "Every part of nature is beautiful. Material, like trees, stars, animals. Immaterial, like sound, or life and death. The catch is, you need to spend some time to understand it's beauty. But, people don't have time, right? As we're trying to add some meaning to our lives, we tend to discard everything that's not important. *chuckle* And what could be more useless than wasting your time on watching nature, when you can train your ability to kill and steal?" Huh, he looks . . . thoughtful. Oh, he looked at me. No humor in his eyes, only serious thoughts.

"And what if by removing useless we could save someone's life?" That's . . . a good question. Well, I found my answer for it, might as well give it to him. Who knows, maybe he'll find one of his own.

"What if not? Someone told me once: Life is about running. Those who run fastest are rewarded, those left behind – punished. Makes sense, doesn't it? And then I realized, that you can't run forever. At some point, you'll be too tired to even walk. But if you pace yourself and take stops, you'll arrive at the same finish line as everyone else. Death." Yeah, that one got him. If I need to choose 1 good side of residing in the Void for 248 years, I learned some meaningful things. Plus, I can play 'the Wise' card on people, so there's that.

"So, just live with regrets, and with those you couldn't help, because you simply couldn't push through some exhaustion?" Huh, he's angry, didn't expect that. He is savior type of guy, I guess. Too angry to be a hero, though. So, vigilante?

"And you know for how long you need to ignore the strain on you?" Still angry, but he listens. Stubborn, not idiot. Rare.

"As I told you, everyone has a limit on how long a person can go. Yes, you can push it through, and I'm sure at first it would be good. That's the problem of all 'forceful approaches' – bad things happen too late." So, not convinced even after all of that? Fine, I'll be more specific.

"Take your 'saving life' case, for example." Got his attention, nice. "Let's say, you save one person. Then, another one. After that, a whole group. You did a good thing, right? And then you couldn't. Let's say, mad bomber. And you think, that's your fault." He nods, good. "Your next course of action – training. Without any straight goal, just to be better, to be ready. Everyone around you ask you to rest, to speak with them, to let them help you. And what you'll do? You'll ignore them, because they prevent you from being better." He nods again, he agrees.

"After some time, one of them leaves, tired of trying. You ignore that, still focused on being better. It even helps, you now have more time for training, so your path is the right one. Then another friend leaves you, and then another. . . Sometime after, you're alone. Good thing, 'cause no one can hinder you from . . . what? The only thing you'll remember is getting better. But why are you trying so hard?" He tries to answer, nope.

"That's the disgusting part of 'pushing through'. To focus on your goal, you'll need to discard all distracting things. To put it simply, you'll need to get rid of everything with lower values than your goal. At some point, the only thing remaining in your view will be your goal. And you'll only mange to see pure numbers, prices of life." Well, he's less angry. Maybe I manag. . .

"But numbers are good, aren't they? You can't argue with numbers. They are foolproof." Okay, that was too stupid of a statement. I. . .Is he. . . defensive?

"Yeah, they are. That's actually the problem. I guess I'll need to be even more specific." I wonder, if someone tries stealing his visor now, will he even notice? He's is attentive, at least. "2 scenarios. Both starts the same. Some maniac, that ruined dozens of lives, took hostage. You, the cop, keeping him in your scope. Plus, you have the 'numbers mindset'." Wait, why did he wince? Oh, yeah, he's a cop. Guess he had something like that in the past.

"First situation, the hostage is little girl. You don't know her, just a bystander girl. Your choices: let the psycho go, or kill them both. Your train of thoughts: in the future, this girl could be useful to society, save a lot of lives. But in the present, she's useless." Yeah, dude, that was harsh, your glare speaks for itself. "On the other hand, the criminal is a threat to countless of people, both present and the future. Conclusion – killing both is better option. Next course of action: finger, trigger, 'Bang'." He's less enraged, not good. I hope he doesn't agree.

"Next, you're ordered to deliver the news to her parents. Of course, they're devastated. Woman cries, blames you, while the man just sits, staring at the floor. Sometimes later, he asks you to leave. A week passes. You got a call from similar address. Neighbors file a complaint about weird smell. You're ordered to check it. After you arrived at the place, you noticed couple new additions at the ceiling. Do I need to elaborate?" That one got him bad, can turians become pale? 'Cause this one definitely became one.

"Moving on, second situation." Cruel, I know. "Same conditions, only hostage is different. Adult male, 35 years old. You hear him begging the maniac to let him go, to return to his family. And yet again, the criminal value is bigger than whatever family that guy have. Trigger, bullet, 'bang'. Same as in the previous scenario, you're ordered to deliver the news. You'll see his family, let's make it a typical one. His wife, and a daughter. Young one cries, old one tries to console her, containing her tears. As you leave them to their fate, your eyesight falls upon some trinket the girl has. Pink bracelet."

"Same week later. A call from captain, or some other higher up. Strange warehouse. You drive there to investigate. Sometimes after, you conclude the warehouse being drug selling checkpoint. While searching inside, you noticed something. Behind a crate, there's a leg. Woman's one. A lot of blood plus another type of liquid. The really bad thing though? Pink bracelet." Okay, he's almost in panic now. Finishing blow. "Now the end of both scripts. And the worst thing about numbers." No stopping now man, doesn't matter how fast you shake your head.

"At the end of those, one question arrives at your mind: was it worth it? And your answer? 'Yes'. Because, at the end of the day, you saved a lot of potential victims. Not even thinking about real ones that you created." Okay, I think he's about to. . .do something. Need to change the mood somewhat. "That's why we need things like that sky. Nothing complex, just a clear sky, no disturbing sounds, no violence. Pure nature's beauty. To clear you mind. To give rest to your body. To stabilize your soul. To remind you of your path." Now, couple minutes for him to regain breath.

.

"I never thought of it this way. I guess you're not just an eye-molester." Lifting your mood with a joke? Good.

"Well, you understood me, so you're not the unsuccessful jester, I'll give you that." *Mental laugh* Oh, it would be better if he was drinking something. Even so, that spit-take was hilarious.

"'Unsuccessful jester', really? And here I thought I was hilarious." You are, but I needed a comeback. "For someone who doesn't like to talk, you've been talking a lot. Gave me something to think about."

"You're welcome." Now that's a genuine smile alright, good thing his willpower isn't average.

"Thanks for lecture then. By the way, what should I call you, weird-eyed-professor?" Cheeky little s*bleep*t.

"And why should I give you my name, unfunny-jokes-cop?" Someone, please give him a bottle.

"Fine, guess I deserved it. Then, I'll go first. Garrus Vakarian, at your service." Garrus, huh? Catchy.

"Chris Cassidy." Yup, no one obtains my service that easily.

"A pleasure. I mean it. That lesson of yours. . . I'll remember it. Anyway, I need to return to my duties. See you sometimes, professor Cassidy."

"Right back at you, officer Vakarian." Heh, guess he doesn't like this way of calling him. Gotta remember that. And why exactly do I think that I'll need to remember it? No, not 'need'. 'Want'. 'Garrus Vakarian', first person in my second life that I enjoyed talking too. Not a friend, but a start, that's for sure.

But, every good thing has an end, right? 'Cause now I need to go and mass produce weapons. Eh, I'll go after admiring this view for a couple of minutes. What a fun new life I've got. And that's one of rare cases when I don't want to continue with 'Not'.