Chapter 07 Crush or Crash

The next day, having a crush became topic in our section. Crush became the word of the day.

Some of my classmates tried to persuade me who is my crush but no word came out of my mouth because it will add fuel to their curiosity and worst, an innocent person involved. I don't want to add more disappointment to Asher.

I heard one of my classmates confessed her feelings and there was progress. Some are planning to confess and others decided to go with the flow because her crush can't resist her charm. I wish I have that confidence and face to do that.

"Asher Valderama, the school president. Wouldn't like him? He's a good shot," Gelou beamed.

"When will you confessed?"

"Why would I? Boys will always do the first move," she said. She is pretty and can stand out in the crowd. I heard she had many relationships and I heard she have no boyfriend.

I felt a sting in my chest.

"He's so damn good-looking. Being a snob made him more handsome," Shantal added.

All that they said was true and it was one of the reasons why I admired him. But I know this feeling inside me is more than his physical features. Well, it was just a plus factor.

Should we focus solely on our appearances? Should it be the sole criterion for deciding whether or not to like someone?

Some believe it does, but the face is not a window to the heart, despite what they believe. It does not disclose the genuine nature of a person's personality.

"But I heard from Ken that Asher like someone?"

"Ken Fugado? Lila's boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I was close to Ken and he told me about it when I asked him?" Shantal let out without any hint of jokes. Gelou frowned and didn't accept it. I hear them though they are whispering to each other.

I bit my lip. Hearing from them that Asher like someone else made me relieved and I need to stop this feeling I have had for years. It became the key for me to end my imagination and soothe my heart that he wouldn't glance a someone like me.

It hurts but it was the truth. Why is the world so cruel to me? Why do things so unfair?

My attention drifted to our PE and Health teacher who entered the class.

She just discussed our lesson and gave a quiz after we were dismissed. I got a perfect score.

Somehow I also keep up with my smart classmates when it comes to Academics. Somehow, my grades are well-maintained and I can slap them that I'm better in this aspect. But it is simply covered by insecurities and being weak that made me invisible.

Just like what Amber and I always did, we went to the Talisay during lunch.

"You know, I despise our girl classmates. Like, duh?" Amber retorted. I slightly chuckled with the matching gestures that aren't her. She's kept copying Curator Song in Korean Drama entitled 'Her Private Life', gestures when she was pissed. "I saw that, you even chuckled."

"Stop, you look like an idiot!" shaking my head.

"Give credit to my effort."

"Let's just eat," I said diverting our topic.

"Honestly speaking, I just can't understand what mind our classmates are. You believe when they say that Asher is like someone else, right? Is that the reason why you are sulking like a dog?" she said in disbelief. I didn't answer her instead, I kept on eating. When she didn't wait for my answer, she began again eating.

Since we have still time for afternoon classes, Amber and I did our requirements.

We exchanged reviews for the topic we picked in 21st-century Literature.

"Can I join you girls?" a voice approached in our spot.

"Sure," Amber beamed and Asher sat beside me leaving a bit distance. Amber gazed at me looking at me as if she's implying how lucky I am to the seat beside her crush. I roamed my eyes around and no one is around but there is a vacant on the other side.

Asher brought out his reading materials and put them on the table.

I didn't even realize that I'm observing him in silence.

Amber cleared her throat that brought me back from reality. She glared at me as if saying that I acted so obvious.

Now, I'm swallowing my decision to stop the root cause of my feelings.

"Asher, do you like someone?" Amber asked without hesitation which seemed to cause Asher to choke out of nowhere but eventually, a playful smile suddenly came out from his lips.

"Well, it's normal," he said. A play safe answer.

"From your strand?" Amber asked again. He shook his head and turned his gazed to me. I gulped. The sprouting expectation in my chest instantly parched up. I looked away because I suddenly want to stop my false expectation in my mind.

"Mutual feelings?" Amber asked again not minding if she was dealing with his personal space but I was amazed because Asher seemed to enjoy what Amber asking about while I only did was looking and listening to their conversation.

" I don't know. I didn't even ask her." He plainly said.

"Asked her. Maybe, you have the same feelings," Amber encouraged her but I interfere saying you are meant to someone else.

"Whatever, Andrea Madrigal," Asher exclaimed dropping my jaw. I shivered and my cheeks slowly warmed with guilt.

Andrea Madrigal

He mentioned my whole name. Did I do something wrong? Well, I didn't understand.

Some words are left unheard and actions that mislead someone. There are unsaid words that only ourselves can understand and there are unsaid actions that made the whole world flat and confusing.

Dismissal time.

Amber and I went to the school auditorium to clean but only Lila and a student assistant supervise us. I didn't know what had happened to him. Maybe I was too harsh when I'm implying that he has no chance to her crush.

Well, it's normal to feel down when you got a rejection. I felt it already. No matter how much time to invest for you not to be rejected, it will end up hurting yourself.

Our cleaning session finished as fast than I expected.

Lila approached me. But Amber got in the way.

"What do you think you're doing?" Amber paused. "Huh? I heard that you and Ken got back together. Why still bother Andrea? Don't tell me you are in an on and off relationship?" she laughed ridiculously.

"Calmed down, Amber," I whispered to her to stop creating a quarrel.

"I knew that I said harsh words to you and act on my temper but I want to apologize for what I did," Lila said. Those words coming from her making me speechless. It was unexpected.

"Are you trying to be a good girl? Well, I won't buy it. On behalf of the two of us, it's absurd," Amber blurted.

"Yeah. I may sound insincere but I knew from my heart that I'm trying," she stated. I looked at her intently in eyes, her sincerity portrays."Sorry."

"It's okay, Lila. We can't go back to what was done. It already happened," I answered.

"Thank you." Amber laughed crazily.

"Don't you think, saying sorry to Andrea can take away the consequences of your temper? You're mistaken. Not all the time saying sorry was the only solution. Andrea doesn't need your sorry. If all our cleaning effort here in the school auditorium goes through by saying sorry, I hope we don't need to clean anymore." Lila heave sighed and calmed her nerves.

"Oh, I see. But I want to apologize," she said and walked away.

Well, Amber had a point. Because I was involved in a fight caused by her, Auntie Julie won't get mad. I was just lucky enough that she didn't punish me. But hearing her saying sorry relieved me. Saying sorry means admitting that you did something wrong. Saying sorry requires an effort to be humble enough. Knowing Lila, she has high pride. I admired her, she broke her wall to step down and become humble. Not all can do that.

I arrived home and Auntie was throwing things on the floor. Frida was sitting on the couch bowing her head and her arms were rested on her knees. The helpers were just watching Auntie Julie and Frida and looking afraid to interfere.

"Come to your senses, Frida," Auntie Julie said before she made her way to their room.

I looked at the helper but I didn't hear any words from them what's the matter. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I saw Mother Lena so I asked her.

"Frida broke up with Dondi because she thought Dondi was cheating but it wasn't. The guy she saw together with a girl was Dondi's identical twins. Ma'am came to know about it that's why she's furious."

So, even I was mistaken. I judged Dondi to be a cheater when I didn't dig any proof.

"Thank you."

"Go to your sister. She's probably down," I nodded and sat beside Frida. I handed her a glass of water and drank it.

"I was so stupid, Andrea. Now that, we are about to marry and became shaky after what we've been through. He didn't mention that he has twins exactly like him, the only difference was the birthmark," she cried. I let her expressed her emotions and I was with her listening.

Sometimes, there are unexpected circumstances that brought more pain by judging others negatively.