Is It Wrong To Be A Chainsaw Man In A Dungeon?

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

[Narration]

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'When I wake up, I usually don't feel so weak, so why is this happening now?' I fell over as soon as my eyes opened and my hands hit the ground before my head did luckily.

'Did I fall asleep standing?' The questions in my head continued to assault me, but I couldn't give all my attention to them.

I was in a tunnel or cave of some sort. There was light in here, weirdly enough. My head was killing me, though, so standing up too quickly was a no-go.

'I knew I should have been more careful around that fucker.' My thoughts were showing on my face as my face contorted in frustration.

"'You should do it, he told me. 'It won't take that long,' he told me. Well, look where I am now, Chaos!" My rage quickly passed as I took a deep breath and assessed the situation.

a cave that leads mainly in two directions, with me having no way of knowing where to go to get out of here.

'Well, lefty loosey and righty tighty, so let's go left.' A smile graced my face at my amazing thinking skills.

Slowly getting up on my wobbly legs and making sure to not trigger any vertigo, I made my way through the cave.

There didn't seem to be anything down here, though. There was nothing to greet me or even talk to. The only thing I got to talk to was some rocks and ground if I got desperate.

Lights ran across the sides of the cave, glowing green. They looked nice but got boring once you passed the hundredth one.

Unlike what had happened to me previously, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I could actually have a nice time here!

*Thud* *Thud* 

*Thud* *Thud*

"I just had to go and ruin it, didn't I?" The big footstep sounds coming from in front of me couldn't be anything good.

Through all the movies I've seen, they always told me to run away from the big, scary sounds, but there's nowhere to run.

As I tried to turn around to run, the thuds suddenly stopped and made me look back. 'Oh sh*t, I think that's a Minotaur.' Cursing my carefree thoughts, I turned to face it.

It looked bloody and a bit tired. It quickly turned to look behind itself, only to look in my direction and pause.

Maybe it wanted to run in the direction I was coming from, but all that changed when it saw me.

The surprise on its face quickly turned to anger as it looked at me like I was the sole reason for its pain.

'Yeah, there's only one thing to do in this situation.' A smile grew on my face as I felt like an anime protagonist for just a second.

That only lasted a second before I turned on my heel and ran away as fast as I could. I knew I was crazy, but to fight that thing? I'm dumb, not stupid, alright?

Turning back to look at the Minotaur, I saw it look at me in what I could only assume to be shock before huffing and giving chase.

The chase didn't last long, as by the time I turned around again, the Minotaur was already in front of me.

It grabbed me by my shirt and smashed me into the wall. I felt like my back had just been hit by a car.

"ARGHHH!" My spit was flying into the air as I got slammed. The Minotaur didn't seem to be done, as it only grabbed my shirt tighter to swing me into the ground.

*THUD*

*AHHRGGG*

'This is real pain!' My thoughts were having a hard time forming as I was slammed into the ground again.

'Think! Think! Think! Think! Find a way out of here! I cannot die like this!' No matter how much I looked around or thought, I would just be smashed into the ground again.

My back and pelvis felt so hot that I thought I was being cooked alive. 'I must be bleeding pretty badly at this point, right?' My only thought is still making fun of my situation.

I couldn't handle the truth of the situation. It truly is sad to go from everything being in the palm of your hand to having nothing.

I felt numb, and tiredness took over. Getting thrown into the ground this hard sure makes one tired.

My eyes suddenly opened wide, and I could only assume my second wind kicked in. I looked around as fast as I could and saw that the Minotaur had stretched my shirt so much that I could see my chest.

I saw a thin black cord attached around the middle of my chest with a triangle handle at the end of it. With a smile, I pulled that bitch as hard as I could!

"AWW HELL YEAH!"

Everything looked blurry for a second before a chainsaw pierced through my head.

*BRUM-VVVRRRMMMMM*

The minotaur's hand was promptly cut off, much to its shock. I stood there with chainsaws on my arms and a chainsaw for a head as well as a mouth.

My body was shaking a bit from the adrenaline.

The Minotaur stood, looking at its hand, only to turn to me with a face that could be universally understood as "oh sh*t."

"Hey, you wanted to kill me, right?"

*BRRUMM*

I turned to face the Minotaur. "Well, then let's rock!"

*BRUM-BRRRRUMM-VRRRRMMMM*

My chainsaws were blaring as I rushed straight at the creature. It threw a punch, only for it to get intercepted by a chainsaw.

The chainsaw went right down the middle of the arm, cutting all the way up to the elbow. I wasn't done, as it tried to use its now-split arm to block the chainsaw from coming straight at it.

The chainsaw cut off the arm that was barely attached. "You know, it's rude to waste food," I said as I picked up the piece of flesh that dropped off the Minotaur and ate it.

I swear I saw it shiver on the display. I wasn't done with it yet, though. I was going to let it feel the pain it gave me times a thousand.

With no hands, one arm, and an already injured body, the Minotaur was on death row.

I didn't wait for it to gather its courage, though, as I ran straight at it. With no hands to stop my chainsaws, I cut straight into its chest.

The cut was shallow, as I wanted it to feel painful. "HAHAHAHAHA!" My laughter spread throughout the hallways as I cut and slashed into the Minotaur, aiming for the most pain.

Another cut on the shoulder, another on the leg, and another cut on the side of the torso. I was so into cutting that when my target disappeared into a puff of smoke and dropped a stone, I barely even saw it.

The stone was purple in color. I had never seen anything like it before. With my chainsaws humming in the background, I picked it up.

There could be many things I was missing, but I'm sure that my enemies left bodies behind, or was I mistaken?

This shouldn't be a game. It should be real life, so why would the enemies disappear like in an MMO RPG and leave loot drops?

My eyes quickly widened. 'Wait, don't tell me...' My thoughts quickly brought me to one conclusion.

"Am I... in a dungeon?"

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CHAINSAW!

*VVVVVRRMMMMMMM*