I am a Broken bastard with a capital B-Rebirth as Jaune Arc

Hi everyone nice to meet you....is what I would like to say but so far all I can bloody see is a big ass white void surrounding me and why the bloody hell am I butt naked, sure I lost all my scars and pretty sure last time I checked I was pretty much-burnt bacon then all was darkness....oh well naked and healed is better the clothed and burning to death...I think?

as I ponder upon my newfound predicament the sound of war horns fills the void? can ya really call this place void, personally always pictured kind of dark, gloomy and where ever our lord Popo sends the unworthy to, not this bland white space?

Tiny red flags and old Japanese monster movie sirens go off in my mind as the little notification as my already pale naked body loses more colour, please whatever gods, elder Cuthulu abominations or Spongebobs characters, I will take whatever kind of higher power and devote myself to you till my soul is extinguished do not let this be a clitch Isekai bullshit, I DID NOT GET KILLED BY A TRUCK SPARE ME.

[you may have died by my lord and creator has so kindly forced you to be reincarnated into the world of RWBY]

"well fuck me, and oh god why there!!!!" I scream curiously I do not need to breathe and can speak, don't get me wrong I love the RWBY music the show kind of stresses me after volume 4, I mean there's just so much wrong with these guys, Ozpin just goes sad after learning from Magic lamp that his Waifu is immortal and has super murder boner which is obviously a cry for help the size of trumps ego, I mean she screamed Yandere and went super Yandere 3 after they have kids. and dear god Ozpin did no one teach you to never trust naked blue ghost ladies that pop out of random things. while my mental ranting cares on for what feels like hours loud beeping sounds get my attention as a new notification flashes ominously.

[Pull or get Boku no pico universe]

screaming I lounge towards a slot machine

[Annihilation maker. 9 Stars ]

Able to create any kind of monster from users imagination one of the Longinus class sacred gears.

That's reassuring, though I hate the DXD story plot extremely the items from that universe are awesome

[now applying random flaws]

[congratualtions ]

[Dragon tendencies]

you are a dragon in all but form

can fall into an outrage mode and destroy everything in your path

as fitting as a serpent, your greed and bloodlust are highly likely to get you killed.

bad reputation with gods of the steel element and dragon-slaying equipment and abilities will deal 5 times more damage to you due to your heritage

Well fuck least it is over now

[4 more rolls remaining]

"Damn you murphy!!!!!!!!!!! You bitch" I screamed hoping to spite whatever God did this to me

[Unknown dictator 9 stars]

It has the ability to control iron and electronic devices. It can also create mechanical equipment of any kind one of the new Longinus class sacred gears

[Knight of owner 9 stars]

[A Knight Does Not Die with Empty Hands]

The noble phantasm of sir Lancelot, anything the user comes into contact with that could be used/recognized as a weapon becomes his noble phantasm drastically powering up that item, even the items of others he will gain mastery and loyalty of as long as they have it in their command. If Dragon tendencies are activated before this is used sends the user into a mindless rampage till falls unconscious or runs out of energy. creates a unique cosmetic change to the user when in use

[A universal personal communication device 8 stars]

A large gauntlet similar to the ones used in Bakugan new Vestroia is upgradable and can view the multiverse for information and used for communication, indestructible and adapts to users preferences, has dozens of uses that the user needs to explore

[The power to turn models into real-life versions of them 3 stars]

An interesting power of the LOU universe. level 2 has yet to be unlocked

[Heavenly being hybrid 5 stars]

Grants the user the chance to use the sacred weapons used in the LOU universe. A race greatly stronger than humans but weaker than those from that universe hell

"at god damn least it rolled the rest straight up would hate to wait, god damn forgot how much I hated the dreaded Gatcha system" I dreaded what coming up next I mean isekai dudes in anime only get 1 cheat and no flaws I demand food beams but least got good rolls lol, come on baby papa does not want an Aqua

[flaws loading 4]

[Poison immunity, Drunks true enemy 9 star]

An ability that prevents toxins from affecting the user, loves of drunk sensations dread ever having this skill

[Reincarnated as Jaune arc 3 star]

You are a glorified Milf magnet, Milfs deal 3 times more damage to you and your attacks deal ½ the amount of normal damage to them, others are quite likely to view you as non-threatening or a waste of their time if the user makes a bad first impression. All energy techniques require more control to use

[Mage bait 5 star]

Magus from the fate universe finds you as an appealing test subject or toy for their own amusement, raises chances of encountering those from the fate universe drastically

"dear god now have to be worried about asshole vampires" feeling my very being begin to sag due to all the edgy bullshit will probs be pulled into

[Gear grinder 1 star ]

Seeing damaged or mistreated machinery will irritate the user with a minor compulsion to fix or disassemble it for parts

[forced tasks 10 stars]

user can not refuse missions from systems creator, beings from other worlds of various strengths will appear on users homeworld at random intervals, defeating them grants the user various rewards

[Puppy dog eyes 10 stars]

you are extremely weak to the puppy dog eyes look or cute pouting from those you care for, immunity while extremely hard to acquire you can still slowly build up resistance, those with animal features deal 5 times as much damage if they are related or younger than you

Again screw you murphy and why the bloody hell do I have more flaws/demerits than rewards sure I am OP as fuck right now but dear god that last one really bends me over, at least wine and dine me before you try to fuck me too hard system

"Whats the stars about sure it shows how OP my cheats are but demerits feel more diverse"

[ the stars are showing how highly ranked they are, with the scale being 1-10 with the higher the star the more powerful the cheat is or more dangerous the demerit is, as you have rolled various high powered cheats on the broken slot machine the creator has decided to throw in a large demerit to compensate]

"Well fuck hope its at least while Jaunes young, cuz damn those Milfs in RWBY powres range from Broken to weak as fuck but lots of side characters are pretty weak compared to other worlds and not my fault you threatened me with hell so broke it in a panic "

[user will awaken at 4yrs of age with all memories and abilities unlocked at that point though caution is advised]

"Well let's get going" I grin savagely sure some of the demerits are a pain in the ass but so excited to meet RWBY characters, had a massive crush on winter when she showed since love me a powerful girl in uniform.

[Understood verifying user profile]

Barry Argonaught age 27

[Next of kin Christine Argonaught, users adopted daughter age 13 ]

The master would like to tell you all of your investments have paid off and your child shall be in the care of your best friend till she turns 18 and inherits your asset for Heavy Knight Industries with the current net worth of 85 million USD with you remaining assets given to your mother.

As I read the latest notification my eyes water at never seeing my baby girl again, getting custody of her after my grandmother passed, was your typical stay at home dad due to extremely bad nerve damage thanks to my elder sister being stupid when she was younger leaving me practically disabled due to her home made computer exploding leaving chunks of metals stuck in my spine, can barely walk outside for more than a few minutes and lost most feeling in my body, lucky used all my birthday money to invest in some companies starting up in the early 2010s before my accident, thought pretty much can't remember much on how her computer exploded or much of my younger years, was depressed for a while till child services entrusted my family with my younger distant cousin to my grandmothers care, seeing the tiny lil life in front of him filled my 12 yr olds self with a sense of purpose and joy to give this tiny treasure all the love and care she could ever want or need, 2 years went by and my elder sister gave birth to my own lil nightmare her son, as he grew up spoilt by my sister and my father who rarely visited due to being a cunt of the highest degree, just so unlovable, least only my mum and lil girl where in my will and always was prepared for death due to having shit luck throughtout my life just glad she will be happy and safe, growing up with 4 sisters was a pain in the ass really and dread my new life since Jaune was said to have 7 fucking sisters dear god, soft bliss spreads throught my minds as the notification goes off and 10 second count down is listed off till my rebirth least won't be conscious as a baby that would be awkward lol.