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Flawed Enchantress

Author: BaeVida
แฟนตาซี
Ongoing · 158.5K Views
  • 40 Chs
    Content
  • 4.7
    16 ratings
  • NO.200+
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Synopsis

A beautiful and powerful enchantress found a girl who was as ugly and unpleasant to the eyes. Feeling pity for the girl, she sought to heal her scar and make her pretty again. Unknown to her, she was under a curse and the moment she healed her, the girl became extremely beautiful but she became ugly. Panicked and frustrated, she tried healing herself but to no avail. In her desperate and frantic moment, the girl pushed her off the mountain peak where they stood and fell to her death. A thousand years later, she reincarnated. In the modern day, where witches and magic existed but in secret, came a prophecy. A beautiful and powerful enchantress would be reincarnated into the body of the Grand Chief's new born daughter. Being a reverenced being, the Grand Chief was happy that his daughter got the honor. But all was not as it seemed. What would this new life of her's be... Join her as she rise from her failures and set backs to be who she truly was and find the one who cursed her in this new world. -------------- "What is the meaning of this Grand seer? You told me the beautiful Enchantress was going to be reincarnated into my new born daughter. But what I see is a child not worthy of been seen with the eyes." "I don't know what happened, it is as I saw." "Then you saw wrong. She would not be shown to the world, she would live in hiding. I cannot show a flawed daughter, it would ruin my image and standing." ******** "She is just good for nothing. She is flawed in every way possible." "She lacks self control in the highest and extremely curious. Not to talk of, her powers are a joke. She brings disaster anytime she attempts to use magic." "Physically flawed, personality flawed and powers flawed, Enchantress my foot... " Cover page credit goes to Kiiara, follow her on discord @Kiiara#9809 Kindly support this book, vote, comment and leave a review. You can message me on discord @ #BaeVida7167 Join my discord for update and discussion. https://discord.gg/xhyKs2 Thanks.

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Young master Damien's pet

"Who touched you?" he asked, his eyes brooding down at her and when she didn't answer, his voice thundered in the room, "WHO?" The butler who stood near the wall spoke shakily, "Sir, it was Mr. Reverale," Damien's face turned sour, his jaw ticking in anger he turned his face to the side where the butler stood behind. "Bring the man here." "N-now?" stuttered the butler. It was the time of night. Damien who hadn't broken his eye contact with the girl in front of him, pushed his hand against the wall which now rested beside his beautiful girl's head. Turning his body, he first looked at his butler who had his head bowed. With great courage, the butler came to meet his Master's eyes, "Do you have any other better time? Or should it be after I wring your neck?" Damien asked calmly tilting his head. Not a second later, the butler ran out of the room to return back with Mr. Reverale after twenty minutes. "Damien, are we having a late tea party?" Mr. Reverale came to greet but the master of the house had other plans. Spotting the knife that was stuck to the apple on the table, he reached for it to pull it out. Just as Mr. Reverale went to exchange a handshake with him, Damien took hold of his hand to place it on the table. In one swift movement as if he were chopping onions, he chopped the four fingers of the man off his hand making him yelp and cry in pain. "No one touches what is mine. I am sure this will remind you the next time you even think about touching her," sighed Damien as if he were tired of telling people to keep their dirty hands off his belongings. Meet Damien Quinn, a pureblooded vampire who is a complete narcissist, brash with his words and stingy even though he is rich who haggled when he bought a slave from the black market. On the other hand, meet Penelope who believes she is a 'guest' for a few days at the Quinn as she is intent on escaping from the odd vampire who needs therapy. ~ Discord: https://discord.gg/K63uVqN

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CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsLv12

To start of, I want to point out how intriguing the synopsis and the storyline are. It's easy to be hooked. They're interesting as well. I'm very curious about the curious. I wonder if it could only be cured by passing it to another. Because even in reincarnation, it followed the Enchantress. Compelling premise. The flow of the story's events are decent. The conversations are entertaining. The development of events isn't fast or slow, enough just to spike more anticipation for the next one. Lastly, I have a few constructive criticisms. Mainly one--which is the lack of certain details in this story. For instance, Chapter 1: > I'd like to say that 'beautiful lady' is subjective. Might be better if there's added features about this woman. Her hair is written but what makes her beautiful? Just her hair? What about her eyes? Does she has a small button nose? Plump or thin lips? I say this because describing her adds more allure. It adds to her beauty other than just saying 'stunning' and 'extremely beautiful.' > I understand the young girl has a scar but I can't imagine how it looks. Is it just one long gash from right temple to left cheek? Half of her face? Add a little more detail. > This also applies to the other characters described as 'ugly' 'disgusting' etc... or just an ordinary character. This is something I used to forget myself as a writer so I often point it out now. I hope I was able to explain why it's important in contributing for good writing. For the rest, Since this is a Fantasy story, try to work on world building. I can't picture the kind of culture this setting has. Key features are buildings, physical attributes, clothes... a writer can see these clearly in their head but remember that readers can't see them. They don't have to be all stated but pick the ones that should stand out. I really see this story has potential so I hope it can reach to even greater heights. Good luck and ganbatte!

Gabriella_x
Gabriella_xLv13

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