Useless Adult

I know you want to say that jumping off the roof wasn't the best course of action but... hear me out.

A cotton duvet on a double bed with a room heater.

Yes, apparently, the Matou have quite a bit of money and live in more luxury than I could have imagined in my last life.

It would be perfect if I didn't know there was a pit filled with more than a thousand slimy dick shaped, no, I'm not kidding... ACTUALLY dick shaped worms slithering under the house.

I didn't catch a wink of sleep after I woke up all fixed.

Place is ominous as shit... I think Zouken does it on purpose.

I flipped a page on the magazine in my hand, sitting in my comfy bed as I planned my next genius move.

That reminds me, there was another upside to 'accidentally' hurting myself. 

Byakuya Matou came back with the milk.

Yes, that drunk bum who couldn't even save his wife from being sacrificed to the bug pit... Man, she might still be alive under all that gunk and shit down there.

How sad, anyway-... Speak of the Devil.

The dark wooden door slowly creaked open and Byakuya hesitantly walked in, a conflicted expression on his face. He was wearing one of those cotton shirts and jeans, maybe he's trying to fit in with the other dads or something.

"Hello... Shinji." He began slowly, talking like he wanted to turn around and run away, "I heard you got hurt."

I stared at the man for a few seconds, why does he look scared of his own 12 year old kid?

Jesus man, you're supposed to be my father... show some backbone for your kid.

Well, easier for me to get what I want.

"Yep." I put the magazine down, "But Sakura fixed me up... Why weren't you here faster?"

He flinched and took a step back, "I... I was busy."

Yeah, busy being drunk, you bum.

Now you're probably wondering why I refuse to respect this man even though he's trying to show concern.

Well, did you know he was responsible for making sure the worms got all up in my dear little sister when she was 5 or something?

Yeah, bet you don't like him that much anymore

"Busy sucking off that bug?" I put a hand over my mouth, that wasn't meant to be said out loud.

Byakuya stared at me for a few seconds and I thought he'd get mad but his shoulders slumped and he sighed, "Look Shinji... I-I don't know where this is coming from but listen to me... You can't go against your grandfather, please."

Hahaha... no.

Ah well, I messed up already... might as well go all in.

"You see I would consider what you said, if you were actually a good-... hell, not even good, an 'adequate' father in my life." I narrowed my eyes, clenching the improvised 'gun' I'd made by tearing apart my alarm clock.

It wouldn't have the speed or momentum of an actual handgun since it's main component is just springs, but if I can get him in the head or neck, he'll be out.

"What do you want me to do?" Byakuya leaned against the doorway, hiding his face behind his hand.

Yes~, feel guilty about neglecting your kid.

"I want a PC."

Because of course, any genius inventor should have an AI of their own.

The weirdest thing is I feel like I can actually put one together provided I get my hands on something that lets me program.

This wasn't the case in my last life so I'll have to get to the bottom of it sooner or later.

"I...Is that it?" Byakuya asked after a bit of hesitation, looking thoughtful.

I didn't expect him to give in that easy.

"Uhh... sure?"

"I'll see if I can get you one."

Damn, what an easy adult.

I hope I don't become like him when I grow up.

Shrugging, I jumped out of the bed, "Well, I'm off to school."

"You don't have to go... you were hurt." Byakuya offered from the doorway, looking at me pensively.

"Education is very important at this age."

"Huh."

I proceeded to ignore him and leave the room.

"But... school is over anyway?"

Lalalala, I can't hear him.

"Send the PC to Shirou's home."

-

In the end, I decided to go out wearing a simple grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans.

And of course, my destination is not school.

School is a prison.

Instead I'm walking around the mostly empty Miyama Town looking for a certain traditional Japanese home.

The Sun's about to set so that's not good.

What if I get kidnapped?

... I hope it's a big titty onee-san... I won't even use my alarm clock handgun if it is one...

ANYWAY!

This place is nice, which makes sense because this is the high-end part of town where all the posh gentlemen like my esteemed self live. There are no peasants here, just rich weirdoes.

There's paved paths, clean roads and expensive mansions on every corner.

Anyway, back to searching for the Emiya Residence.

I realised while I was talking to my father that it doesn't matter if I run.

Zouken probably has one of his bugs running surveillance on me because he's a pervert like that and it's probably gonna follow me no matter where I run.

So, I'm just going to find Shirou, take advantage of his good nature and seek refuge in his home.

His 'home', the Emiya Residence has a Bounded Field that warns of anyone entering it with malicious intentions... My intentions are not malicious because I'm simply trying to hide from a creep and I have nothing against it's denizens.

But, Zouken can't follow me inside.

If fire can't deal with his bugs, I'm using a nuke for it.

This is totally normal and reasonable behaviour.

My Master Plan has no flaws in it.

Ah, I think I found it.

It's a walled compound with designs similar to ones you'd see in documentaries about the Sengoku Era and large doors.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door.

I just hope I can convince Shirou.

The door opened with a heavy creak and a young boy with short, neatly cut, auburn hair popped out, looking at me with curious amber eyes that made me feel slightly guilty about my thoughts... not.

He had 11 years to prepare for my arrival, if he can't see through me, it's a skill issue.

"Shinji?"

He recognises me, that makes things easier.

"Yes, it's Shinji."

"Er... How can I help you?" He asked awkwardly, backing away from the door slightly.

His mistake, because like that one obnoxious aunt, I just barged inside, forcing him to get out of my way.

What greeted me was a large home that looked like it came out of some samurai movie or something, complete with those thin, sliding wooden doors and a raised wooden floor that extended outside... probably to sit on?

I dunno, I'm not fucking Japanese.

"Hey Shirou, would you mind if I stayed over a bit? I got into a fight with dad."

Technically the truth, cause he has no balls, no wife, no bitches and no life. I pointed that out before I left.

"Um, sure?" Shirou looked confused in that innocent kid kind of way, so that was good.

But...

"Why do you look weirded out, dude?"

I'm not leaving.

"Usually you would've just said I'm staying over and gone inside already." Shirou explained with a small sigh before smiling and putting a hand on my shoulder, "I guess you're just shaken up. Well, I'm happy to have a guest."

Bro, you're a kid... Stop consoling me.

Do dumb kid shit.

Stop being genuine.

It's not good for dickheads like me.

Promptly ignoring his genuine attempt at trying to make me feel better, I asked him something that was imperative to my master plan, "Does Sakura visit?"

"...Why would she visit me?"

"Well... fuck."

She was imperative to my Master plan.

Shirou ignored my swearing, cause Shinji was a cunt anyway and being his 'friend' made him used to it, "Well, I was about to set the table anyway. I have another guest, if you don't mind."

"Nah. Just don't feed me if you want, I'll live in that old storehouse." I pointed at the shoddy building in the corner of the compound.

"Shinji... That fight really shook you up, huh?"

Dear Shirou, please stop looking at me with so much pity and surprise.

I'm not pathetic, my dad is.

"Well, let me just go grab my sister real quick."

"Shinji... we can talk if you want."

Dear Shirou, I reiterate, stop looking at me like my puppy died.

Perhaps sensing my distaste, Shirou gave me a reassuring pat on the back before walking to the main building.

"I don't mind having a friend over, Shinji. Most of the house stays empty anyway."

...I am going to kick this boy.

-

So, I see a lot of you guys just didn't like this... dam.

Do you guys have any hint as to what his Master Plan is? It's the equivalent of a nuke and Sakura is integral to it. This is probably something only hardcore fans can even link together.

The final hint is the cover pic.

PS for extra chap?