"Do you Zairiya Deno Slavisna take Aeran Rijvant Kranis as your husband before the eyes of The Great Lord.?"
The priest asked in the same monotonous tone.It was not strange for him to see two people getting married.It was a part of his daily routine.
Ma had refused to come.She didn't want to witness the event which'll give me nothing but pain and ruin my life.When I insisted and pleaded with her ,she said it clearly.
"I won't let this marriage happen before my eyes Zairi. If you have already decided to marry him then go ahead but don't invite me. I won't just stand there and let you destroy yourself.I'll destroy the whole church to stop you.I respect your wishes.I trust you Zairi. But I can't tolerate seeing you hurting like that.So don't make me go there."
I had understood then.Ma was one of the powerful sorceress of the world.If she wanted she could have used any of her spells to change my mind or those of the people around.She could have threatened them with their lives.
But Ma wasn't that kind of a person.She could never hurt someone willingly and she respected the wishes of Mother Nature.
She always told me that everything that happens has a reason behind it.A bigger picture which is not visible by human eyes.Whether we want something to happen or not, whether we like it or not ,
what has to be will be.
No one can change it and no one is allowed to interfere , such are the rules of the Nature.We have to respect them.She respected them but it wasn't necessary that she had to like them as well.That's why she couldn't come because she would have waged a war against Mother Nature itself just to stop me.She didn't knew why this was necessary. No one knew.Even though she had protested against this decision of mine she gave in when she saw I won't budge. I was already decided.
Indifferent to the inner turmoil that were raging inside me nor the hostility and anger from the people present in the Church to bless us, the priest continued.He didn't knew that I'll only be receiving curses today.He didn't knew that I was not the happy bride that was to start a new life with her husband.He didn't knew that this wedding held nothing harmonious about it.He didn't knew the one person who my world depended on wasn't here with me.He didn't knew that the person I will be pledging my whole life to, hated me to death.
He didn't know anything.
"Do you Zariiya Deno Slavisna take Aeran Rijvant Kranis as your husband before the eyes of the Great Lord and the people present here ?" He repeated a little louder.
He didn't know I'll be ending any chance of happiness I could get by uttering the next two words, destroying wishes of not two but many people.
Ma always says that if you are not willing to help someone then you are not allowed to hurt someone as well.So what should I do now Ma , I have to hurt all of them to help this one person on my side.
I closed my eyes tightly.I always knew the answer, it was always there.
I'll go through Hell and back if it meant his happiness.
Opening my eyes, I levelled my gaze to the priest and said the words that'll doom me. " I do."
I heard the gasps of several behind me.
The priest raised his brows at the strange reaction of the well-wishers and turned to my groom, to my Aeran.. no, no .. he'll never be mine now.
"Do you Aeran Rijvant Kranis take Zairiya Deno Slavisna as your wife before the eyes of the Great Lord and the people present here?"
I screamed silently inside my head for some miracle to happen, for someone to stop this.To stop him from uttering his next words which'll seal his hate for me forever.Please.. don't say it..Please... don't.
"I do" He said clearly.
The pain that assaulted me that moment was so huge , so dark , so overwhelming I was surprised I didn't faint.The single tear from my eye dropped down tinting the crystal white floor with a small red drop.
I wasn't surprised to see the red tear.
I never cried. I was not allowed to. Ma always forbade me to cry .
I remember, I had once got injured badly.My whole knee was scraped and blood was oozing out.I knew Ma will heal it with one of her spells quickly but the pain was too much to withhold inside for even another second .I was about to cry when Ma chanted a spell and made me sleep.I never knew why she did that. Wasn't crying an outlet for all the pain you feel. Didn't she want to lessen my pain ..? I remember getting up with my knee all fine. Happily, I had bounced up and down and reached my Ma who was sitting on a chair near the window gazing at the rising sun with swollen eyes and tears down her cheek.
She was crying.When I asked the reason she cried more and mumbled "I am crying for the hurt you got my child .Promise me you won't allow yourself to shed even a single tear however much hurt you are. Just come to me and I'll shed those tears in your stead. Promise me."
Hugging her tightly I swore there and then that I won't cry.
If the tears shed by me would flow out my mother's eyes. Then I won't allow myself to cry ever. She explained to me as I grew up, that fate will bring a change if a single tear of my eye falls on Mother Earth and she was not sure it will be for good.
I continued staring at the red drop.
I am sorry Ma.I broke my promise but the pain this time was too much to handle.It freed itself from the tight shield I held over myself.
"You may kiss the bride now.I congratulate you both.May you have a happy and prosperous life ahead of you."
The priest hadn't even finished talking when Aeran turned and walked out of the Church dismissing me and this marriage. All the other people , Aeran's family including his Pack members marched out right at his foothill several sneering at me and others with anger.I stood there taking in all their hate , never once leaving their gaze. Only one woman stood there alone.She came towards me with slow gait.I recognized her.It was Aeran's mother.
She stopped right in front of me and searched my face.
Suddenly my eyes weren't on her face but on the flowers on the side .The hot pain on my cheek blazed over. With that she too walked out.
I stood immobile .Never once had I thought I'll get slapped on my wedding day.
I turned back to see the blood drop still on the ground.
I don't know why I was not surprised or afraid. Before today I would have run to my Ma asking her about why I had a blood tear instead of regular water one? Is that why I wasn't allowed to cry? If I cry more , would more blood come out of my eyes..? Am I infected with something..?
Standing in the empty church, staring at the blood, I searched inside why it didn't matter anymore.
WHY..??