Dead Men Tell The Best Tales

A man slowly opened his eyes, blinking as sunlight hit him directly. He blinked a few more times until his vision cleared. 

As he opened his eyes, he saw the bright blue sky above. Tall trees stood nearby, their leaves moving gently. The air felt fresh, carrying the smell of grass, and the soft sound of leaves brushing against each other could be heard.

"Wait, I can smell?" He muttered, confused. His expression changed as he touched his nose. "Shouldn't I be dead?"

He raised his hands to look at them. They were pure white not White like white people, but pure white, like a blank sheet of paper.

"What the hell?" he whispered, turning his hands over, Then he looked down at his body, checking if it was just as white as his hands.

But when he looked down, his eyes widened in shock.

"Where is my... uh, pp and balls?" he said nervously.

He hurriedly touched the area only to find nothing, not even a hole.

"Calm down, Lucas, calm down," he talked to himself, taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

After a while, he placed his hands on his head in frustration, he froze.

I am bald.

"Oh, shit," he whispered.

A few seconds later, he took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Closing his eyes, to focus.

"Okay, think. What happened?"

The memories rushed back.

"The terrorist... shot me and I died."

"Well, anyway... I fought knowing I would die. At least I managed to take down three terrorists before the end. But after death... I thought I'd finally find peace. Yeah... peace."

He paused, the memory returning clearer now.

"Then... I was floating in this black void. It felt... peaceful, calm."

He paused, struggling to make sense of it all.

"But then... a black hole appeared. It pulled me in. And after that... I woke up here."

Lucas glanced around again. The trees swayed gently. The sky was clear and blue. It looked nothing like the heaven he imagined.

"This isn't heaven," he muttered. "It's not white enough. The only thing white here is me… And where's God? Where are the angels?"

He looked at his body again. It was pure white, unnaturally so. There were no veins, no muscles, no nipples, no details at all.

"Do I even have an asshole?" he wondered. He touched his ass, confirming that he at least had an ass, but when he tried to find his anus, he couldn't find it.

Frustrated, he let out a sigh and lightly slapped his cheeks. "Get it together, Lucas. Think straight."

After a moment of calming himself, he nodded. "Alright, alright, I'm dead. That much is clear.

"I thought dead people were supposed to be like souls-transparent," Lucas muttered. "But whatever. It's not like I know anyone dead."

He paused. "I just hope God won't punish me for killing those terrorists. Or maybe He's rewarding me by sending me here. A good reset until it's my turn for judgement."

He shook his head. "Heaven or Hell, who knows? For now, though... where am I?"

He looked around, noticing he was standing on a massive glowing circle, similar to a summoning circle from anime.

The designs on it were strange and incomprehensible.

He stepped out from the circle, looking back at it. "It's really complex and unique," he muttered. "I wonder if it brought me here."

He began walking, looking at the long trees and green grass. The air was cool, and everything looked peaceful.

He wanted to forget the past and rest under the shade of a tree.

As he had grown tired of his old life, endless routines, and a boring job.

But when the terrorists tried to hijack the same plane In which I was on, I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fight terrorists. 

And so, I fought a tough battle with the terrorists. With some luck, I managed to kill or at least shoot, all three of them before I was killed.

I'm not sure if they all died, but I definitely shot them all.

The last terrorist and I shot each other at the same time. I died… maybe that female terrorist died too. Well, whatever. He shook off the thought, focusing on his current surroundings.

Now, Lucas was heading toward one of the trees, hoping to reset and find some peace.

But then, out of nowhere, a faint white light from behind him caught his attention. He turned around and saw a small white spider with glowing red eyes coming out of the circle.

Lucas stared at it for a while. "Wait… do I have red eyes too?" he wondered, while his hands instinctively moved up to touch his eyes.

Meanwhile, the spider paused, looking as confused as Lucas. It moved around, as if it didn't understand where it was.

It had clearly died during the reproduction process when it sacrificed itself to the female spider.

Lucas turned his attention back to the spider and said, "A spider! I finally found someone." He quickly ran toward it, eager to grab it and check out its body.

The spider suddenly became alert, panicking, and started running. It ran faster than Lucas expected.

"Stop, spider! Stop!" Lucas yelled as he chased it.

The spider didn't stop. It quickly moved towards the green grass and vanished.

Lucas stopped, moving his bald head from side to side. "Damn it. Where did it go?"

He looked around for a while but couldn't find the spider. He wondered where it went.

He sighed, but suddenly a bright light burst from the circle behind him, much brighter than before.

Turning back, he expected to see a new spider, but his eyes widened in panic. "Oh no, no, no…" he muttered, stepping back.

Without thinking, he turned and ran, shouting, "Oh God, please forgive me! I'll never chase any spider again!"