The Forbidden Letter

Dear Son,

I know I do not have any right even to call you after all that I have done. I know I was the worst of the worst, but son, I loved you. In my own twisted way, I did love you, and I just hated that you had to be left alone because of what your mother had done.

I agree; I killed her. Hell, I even watched her take the final breath, maybe because I was obsessed with making your life better. Maybe because I never wanted you to know the secrets your mother had been keeping from you.

I know you hate me, son, and it's all justified. I know there's a chance that you won't even try to read this letter, but I'm hoping you read it till the end. This is a matter that concerns you and your siblings. And no, I'm not talking about Cathy's children. They weren't my kids, I just fell in love with their mother, and I had to be their father figure.

I'm shitty, but I already know that. My guilt cannot take it any longer. I know there is nothing I can do to make it all go away. I know committing suicide is stupid, but I have nothing to live for anymore. I hurt you, son.

I hurt your mother because I thought he had fallen in love with him, Garner, the owner of garner stats. But when I found out that she was never having an affair with him, it was too late because I had already killed her.

My Juliana was not having an affair with garner; she only checked on your siblings, the twins. Your mother got pregnant on campus and couldn't take care of the kids.

She had wanted to abort, but Gauri was desperate for kids, so she promised to pay for Julia's education till whenever she wanted. Even if she wanted to pursue her PhD, Gauri offered to do that. All she ever wanted were the twins Julita couldn't take care of.

She made Julita a promise that she would never keep the twins away from her, and that's why your mama never objected to you being alexander's best friend. I may not have been their father, but he is your brother.

The Alex twins are your siblings.

I don't know who their father is, and my Juliana took that to her grave, the very grave I forced her into. Son, your siblings, don't know this truth; they don't even know they were adopted. I wish I could tell you you have a claim to all that, but you don't.

I should have sensed your connection when alexander always stood up for you, even against me. But I was stupid not to. But, even I am the human son. I couldn't have known.

If you ask me why I killed Julianita, I really wouldn't know what to tell you.

My Julia was perfect.

She was the absolute gold that I should have taken care of. Julita was the perfect wife; she even quit her job just to take care of you, something a modern woman wouldn't have done. And I hated her for it. I hated her for being perfect. I hated her for putting her family. First, I was not too fond of the way she loved both of us without question.

I know what you're thinking, but son, even I don't know how I could have done that. I do not deserve your forgiveness, and that's why I won't be asking for it. I'm sorry, though, for being the fucked up father you're ever got.

Last week I saw alexander's girlfriend; I'm sure it was her because I always saw her with you, hell she was even in the photos after the explosion. I know she is alive, but I do know how she is. I really don't want to put doubts in you and your friends, or rather and your family, ut look into it, maybe your brother is alive too.

If you see your brother and sister, please tell them about your mother, I don't know if Gauri will object, but I feel like she won't because she didn't deny Julianita the chance to see her kids. Tell them stories about your mother, son. Tell them how beautiful she was, tell them everything, but also please, remember to tell them I wasn't their father.

Tell them to forgive me for killing your mother, I know you won't do that, and I won't bind you with it as my dying wish. Whatever happens, Ryan just knows that I did care. I loved you and hated the way you had to turn to drugs and run away from home. I know I didn't make your life easier, but son, I loved you.

There's a bomb I put in the house, I tried to kill myself the first time, but instead of 2hours, I accidentally set it to twenty days.

Stupid of me, I know. I mean, if I wanted to die that bad, the least I could do was do it right. There are only four days left; if you are reading this, then it means you got it. I don't know which day it is, but son, run.

Go away from home because there will no longer be a home here. I ruined our home when I had my first affair and got jealous when your mom returned to work. But I will destroy all the bad memories because they are all here. Take whatever you can and leave, son. I'm sorry I was a dick even till my last breath.

Until never,

Your fucked-up father,

I love you, son and goodbye.

*************************************************************************

The siblings took turns reading the letter, and when they were done, Nik couldn't help but ask a second time, "are you sure we need to do this, Amelia?" To which his sister nodded. The weekend would surely be hell for the garner family. All they had to do was wait for everything to blow up, even if they weren't aware that their brother had murdered the man. And maybe they wouldn't know, just maybe.