Chapter 128: Magical Functions

Summary:

Functioning at the heart

Eclipsa sat across from Star, opening the book. "Now, Dark Magic is not any more evil in nature than other spells." She clarified. "I would say most of those go to my mother, but that's beside the point. Darkness is just negative feelings. Anger, sorrow, misery, despair."

"So growing up with Solaria as your mom built up a lot of those for you, huh?" The girl questioned as she crossed her legs.

"That was part of the reason why I crafted so many dark spells to begin with, yes." Eclipsa didn't hesitate to admit. "What many people don't tell you or remember is that the negative side of one's self is just as natural as the positive, it just takes immense patience and skill to craft it into something productive. Take for example Steven's pink state. What happens when he uses that form?"

"He glows pink, gets angry, shouts really loud and smashes alot of stuff…"

"And that comes in handy when it needs to be, doesn't it?"

"Well yeah, that's true." The young girl admitted.

"Now, let's try and take a moment to do something small, get some control going." She pulled out three candles, at the top of the far left and right was the face of Mina Loveberry and Toffee, and in the middle was Steven.

"And this is … for therapy?" She asked with trepidation.

"No, nothing like that." She explained. "I want you, using dark magic, to set the two end candles on fire at the same time, and leave Steven's completely untouched."

"Is this necessary?" Star asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I would have used Marco, but I wasn't sure how close you two got with each other." Eclipsa smirked. "On the off chance you're mad at him, you'd likely incinerate the candle in any circumstances."

"Haha, very funny." Star rolled her eyes and began concentrating her hands. "Come on, black sparks, set those candles blazing."

"Remember, don't repress your anger. It's a part of you, and it needs to be let out." The Queen of darkness kept instructing. "For all the trials and tribulation these two figures put you, concentrate on placing that pain onto them."

"Right, right … focus on the darkness … focus on the anger …" Familiar black sparks began to form in Star's hand. "Focus on the pain … and release!" All three candles were covered from top to bottom in black flames. "Steven no!"

"It's alright, this is why we're training." Eclipsa put out the flames. "It's much harder than you think. Sometimes you set things on fire that aren't the candles, sometimes you don't even set one on fire. Took me about a year to get the control down. But when I did, it was worth it in the end."

"Right..," Star hesitantly nodded, looking at the melted piles of wax. "Why do you have such a fascination with dark magic anyways?"

"Like you said before, my mother did play a large factor in that." Eclipsa remembered fondly with a chuckle. "Although, rather ironically in hindsight, she actually encouraged me to learn more about the dark arts when I began to dabble in it."

"I know she was crazy, but why..?"

"My mother had hit a bit of a roadblock in her spell casting. She wanted to make an offensive spell for every occasion, and during that time, she failed to complete what she considered her opus." The woman responded.

"Wait a second, she created a spell that could shatter things and could obliterate armies, but she never completed her best spell?" Star spoke with a little fear.

"The 'total annihilation spell', as she often referred to it." Eclipsa nodded sadly. "A spell capable of complete disintegration and atomization on every level. When she failed to find the results she hoped for, she placed the task for me to find…and I succeeded…the week after she died."

"That's disturbing." Star looked at her hands, focusing on the candles and trying once more … only Mina's being set on fire, with a lightning bolt following. "So..that spell is in the book..?"

"No, it's the only piece of knowledge I own that I wish to never let out into the world." She stopped the girl again. "The results are so heinous and devastating that I never gave the spell a proper name."

"Good..I know I'd be too tempted to use it if the situation got bad enough." So many queens would be. Too many people … "So what spells are you learning now that you've got the book back?" She asked.

"Well at first I thought since Crescenta's spell was the first one I used that I'd take a couple of hers, although a lot were…less useful than others." Eclipsa rubbed her head. "One that depletes a Ponyhead's ability to fly is useful, but one where you can turn your skin green only on tuesdays was less so."

"Don't even get me started on the Monster Arm … too many problems." Star shivered. "What is it with sentient body parts haunting us?"

"It could be that a past life or one of our ancestors severed the hand of a witch and cursed us to be plagued by them." She offered her two cents on the thought.

"I'll stick with the latter option. My family history seems crappy enough for that to have actually happened." Star groaned as she then clutched her arms in pain. "Ahh, why does it burn?"

"Your body is still getting used to the vast amounts of dark magic in its system where there was little to none. Magic flows like a steam. Dark magic is like a violent rapid. It takes time for you to direct the flow of Dark magic."

"You know, it's only been a couple of minutes and you're already a way better teacher than Glosseryck."

"My dear." She smiled. "Everyone is a better teacher than Glossaryck."

"I'll have you know I really think I teach Star better than you do." The little blue man spoke in a jacuzzi.

"You're as helpful as a cup of pudding." Star rolled her eyes.

"Ah, so you finally recognize the importance of the almighty superior dessert."

"Cookie Cats are still better."

"I'll have to have one." Eclipsa shrugged. "Now, let's keep trying. This time without setting the mailman on fire."

"Set who on fire now?"

"I'VE BEEN BURNING FOR TWO DAYS!" Oh … she thought it was recent. He was very good at keeping quiet.

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"You know, Marco will always hold a sentimental place in my heart, but you two definitely have come close to the title of best human." Peridot told the boys. For the first time in ages she didn't have to dumb science down for someone.

"Thanks. It's always nice to have another scientifically minded friend around." The triangle headed boy, Phineas if she recalled correctly, said with a smile.

"Dude, I'm right here." The round boy with vision protectors, Number Two, stated with a bit of disdain. "But yeah, this new invention will revolutionize our two by four technology immensely. Heck, we may even expand to three by six at this rate."

"Yes, as archaic as the materials may be, that fact most of your tools are able to function at all shows off a great deal of ingenuity and resourcefulness." Peridot stated while inspecting one of the condiment blasters, which somehow gave off the same effect as a low-emitting plasma rifle..

"We would upgrade to metal, but we don't have enough resources for mass production." Phineas shrugged. "At most we just use that stuff for our daily fun. Roller coasters, carwash, funhouses."

Peridot gave a hum, working on a coupler as the windows closed up, another of the children, a bald kid by the name of 'Number One' if she recalled, walked up to a holographic display. "Alright everyone, listen up-" He paused, staring at her, before facepalming. "Phineas, what have we talked about clearing it beforehand?"

"Sorry about that…again." The redhead said sheepishly.

"Do you even know how old she is? She could be an adult for all we know!"

"I'll have you know that I emerged from my homeworld during the latter half of Era-two two thousand years ago. I'm the youngest Peridot of my facet." Peridot corrected

"Two thousan-She's beyond any adult alive!" He shouted with a bit of a fuming steam and befuddlement.

"Not true, my facet manager emerged six thousand years ago, their manager emerged eight thousand, and the diamonds have been around since the beginning of the universe, presumably." Now that she was an anarchist, she was now free to question the subject of her origins.

The bald one still looked baffled, looking to number 2 and Phineas for an explanation. "She's one of Steven's friends from space. From what they explained, they're sort of…born how they are now."

"An entire species that completely skipps childhood altogether…what a complete nightmare." Number One shivered at the very thought. 

"To be honest, I find your concept nightmarish too." She shrugged. "The 'Kids Next Door' sounds far too similar to the Galactic Kids Next Door." 

All the kids in the area froze upon hearing the name of the small terrorist group that's been plauging small sects of the universe. "The what now?" Number two asked.

"Galactic Kids Next Door. One of the few major interplanetary groups other than Homeworld. The GKND use surprisingly advanced technology and guerrilla warfare tactics to eradicate their enemies, ranging from stealing warships without so much as a scratch as to blowing up planets."

"Blow up planets!?" Phineas said with horror. "Why would they do that?!"

"According to an investigating Aquamarine, their apparent mission is the eradication of an organic virus known as 'adults'." She paused. "You know, now that I've lived here for a few months, I have some genuine context for that now."

"That…That can't be.." Number One looked visibly shaken. "I understand fighting against adulthood, but to go so far as to eradicate so many lives..I'd never imagined the KND would ever reach that level of extremes."

"Meh, don't worry about it." Peridot shrugged. "They haven't blown up a planet in years. Ever since the Highbreed got uppity within the last thousand years for some reason, they've been a major thorn in everyone's sides. For the sake of 'purity through the universe'." She answered. "Basically three major evil organizations are so busy trying to eradicate each other they're ignoring other planets entirely."

"Huh, I always imagined space as an endless canvas of opportunity, not so much a black endless void of a war ground." Phineas said with a slight hint of disappointment.

"There's good and bad everywhere brother. It's our job to make sure the good doesn't die out." Ferb spoke, patting the boy on the back.

"Precisely. There's too much good on Earth to let it die off, otherwise I'd would've let the Cluster emerge and we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"PHINEAS! FERB! COME DOWN HERE OR YOU'RE SO BUSTED!" A shrill and annoying voice echoed in the air.

"Uggh, your sister's screaming at the treehouse again." Number two rolled his eyes. "Doesn't she have any hobbies that don't involve busting? Even Cree has more to do than torment Number five all day."

"Well she's a big fan of ducky momo." Phinieas shrugged.

Number two began laughing. "That dumb duck that just waddles around looking … stupid …" He quieted down on the account of the raging ball of fire emanating from the girl with sleeves too long for her body.

"Number two! You know you can't insult one of Number Three's favorite toys! Didn't you learn from Number four and Rainbow Monkeys!" Number One warned. "We need to get out of the blast zone before it's too late!"

"It's too late, she has me by my shirt! Save yourselves!" Peridot lived such a weird life these days.

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Marco sat in the desk too small for his body, Jana next to him, as the girl named Luz wrote on a board. "Welcome to Glyphs and you. I am your teacher, Luz Noceda. When we're done, you're going to kick ass and take names!"

"Finally, a class that I can get excited about." Jana smirked as she prepared to write notes for probably the very first time if he recalled correctly. "Let's get our witch on!"

"Now, there are four basic Glyphs." She began drawing on the board. "Light, Ice, Plant, and Fire. These are the basic elements that run in nature, and can combo into just about anything … however!" She flipped it over. "I learned recently that this is completely untrue!"

"Yeah, that does seem like it kinda limits spell casting if it's just those four." Marco observed.

"No, when I say combo I literally meant combo. If you draw it complexe enough you can cause just about anything, even teleportation." She clarified. "You see, these ARE the four basic elements … on the boiling isles. " She clarified. "Each world has its own set of basic glyphs based on how the nature of the magic within the area functions." She began drawing some more. "For Beach Creek, the four elements are water, light, wind, and sugar."

"Why would sugar even …" Marco paused. "Star."

"Yep. She showed me a couple of her spells, and after inspecting one of her cupcake blasts closely enough, I saw that there were glyph marks hidden on it, and realized there was more magic to study."

"Wait, you can just find glyphs anywhere if there's enough magic?" Jana asked.

"Well it takes a while depending on the person. According to … Philip ." She spoke with disdain. "Apparently magic loves me as much as I love it." She grew a light snicker. "Anyways, before, I thought I couldn't use my glyph magic in the human world at all, but after my first meeting with Star and Steven, I realized that each section of earth has varying and different amounts of magic in it, otherwise places Gravity Falls wouldn't house so many supernatural creatures and artifacts."

"That makes sense." Marco nodded, writing it down. "Now what did you mean about combos?" He asked.

"Oh, right. Let me show you." She pulled out a piece of paper. "Tell me what you see here?"

"Um … a light glyph surrounded by one fire glyph and one plant glyph." He replied.

"Exactly." Luz smiled as she walked over to a ladder, climbing up to the roof of her house as the two of them just watched … then dove head first to the ground.

"LUZ!" They both screamed in fear for the girl and her insanity. He didn't think anyone could beat his girlfriend in terms of recklessness, but here he was, being proven wrong.

The moment she reached the ground, she stopped, hovering for just a few seconds as the piece of paper glowed a cyan blue, as it crumbled away. "Safety hover." She smirked, before the glow faded and she hit the ground.

"Girl, you are insane….I love it!" Jana laughed while Marco was pondering whether or not the dojo or the therapist degree would be better in the long run career wise.

"Thank you, I'll try my best." The girl bowed. "It takes a lot of time and experimentation, but with enough effort, you can use the basic elements of each world to craft almost anything. And like I said, it's different depending where you are." Luz explained.

"Can you use the basic elements anywhere?" Jana asked.

"Technically yes, but since they work on magic manipulation, it's easier to use native ones. Luckily for me, I have a boost from my good pal King in case of emergencies."

They looked at the small black creature with a skull for a head and drew some of his blood. "I can't move my arms, but I get unlimited cookies!" He spoke on the ground.

"So you also have your own magic boosting little brother figure?" Marco asked.

"Yep, Titan blood is the most powerful magical booster on the planet." Luz patted the little guy as she fed him some treats. "In fact we put some on some gloves and let Star go crazy with magic … small note, stay away from louisiana, the ozone layer might be damaged."

"You mean more than it already is?" Jana snorted. 

"Good point. Anyways, other than that, the last thing to go over would be using Glyphs to manipulate magic on Mewni." She drew more glyphs on the board. "After our last trip there, I've finally narrowed down what the four basic elements are. Earth, Electric, Gravity, and Dark." Marco raised his hand. "Yes Marco?"

"Have you tried doing a combo of light and dark?"

"Yes I have…the results are a tiny but powerful black hole that nearly sucked everything in until Steven was able to contain it in a bubble. Mom was about to chew my ear out, but his dad calmed her down and now they're officially going on a date." The girl looked exhausted at the idea. "I mean, good for her, but still awkward to think about."

"Meh, it's weird to remember parents can still date." Marco agreed.

"Alright, now, how about we start with some basic memorization." Luz began to draw the glyphs. "Keep these up until you can get Glyphs from memory. Trust me, they WILL save your life in a pinch."

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Steven was sent flying back once more, his back on the ground. "Alright … and here I thought Marco was the strongest non-powered guy we knew." He groaned.

"Oh, if you think I'm strong, wait till you meet Sasha." Anne laughed. "I … still can't land a blow on her when she's serious."

"Same for me and Star. Technically I can be faster and stronger than her, but she's too unpredictable with coming up with magic on the fly." He shrugged as he popped his neck as he got up. "And most of this you picked up from one week of training from a newt?"

"Yep, he was an effective teacher, but he was also this robin hood type, except he was training to use me and kept the money to himself." Anne shrugged. "He got better eventually."

"Isn't that what we can say about most of our baddies? They 'just got better' after being evil for a time." Steven chuckled

"Yeah. Everyone I know learned to get along." KO spoke with a smile. "Darel focuses on a farm instead of us, Boxman and Venom got married, Sharon and Rad are dating now, Fink … only tries to kill me." He shrugged. "Although according to Enid that means she has a crush on me or something?"

"Wasn't she made by your dad?" Anne asked, and they all shivered at the implications.

"She just calls him her boss, so it would be slightly less creepy, but I'm still trying to be a hero, so nothing can happen there." KO shrugged. "Now come on, I have some combo moves I wanna try out." He took a fighter stance, full of energy as he hopped back and forth.

"You're just one eager little beaver, aren't you?" Steven smiled as he prepared his own stance, bubbling his fists.

"I'm actually a puppy…sort of." KO pulled on his face and pulled off…apparently a mask that was hiding a dog face, with a wet nose and everything. "Me and my friends got bit by an old cat, so I go in and out being this and being me."

"....Still less weird than me growing cats on my fingers."

"That's true." KO admitted, putting the mask on leaning down and … rushing before Steven could even process the fact he's been punched. When he did Steven didn't have any time to react, as KO already uppercutted him high into the air.

"I am way too used to getting punched in the face." Steven more or less sighed as he let his body glow pink, floating from his space in the air as he placed a shield beneath himself, letting himself get steady as he launched himself directly as KO.

"Oh, we're flying now! Don't have much practice with this one, but I'm down for it!" KO cheered as he lit himself blue and jumped right at him, their fist colliding with a shockwave of force. "You're pretty tough."

"You're pretty quick."

"Thanks, Mom trains me on weekends!" With that, KO began wailing on him with a barrage of punches in a similar manner to how Garnet would fight, thus he countered with a spiky bubble. "Ow!"

"Sorry, I'll heal that latter!" He said as he surrounded the kid in a bubble himself as he was distracted, and threw it right into the ground, where it cratered and cracked. "You OK, KO?"

"That was amazing! You have a really good defense system going for you! It's like trying to punch open the world's strongest peanut shell!" The kid's voice echoed from the bubble. Glad he had a good attitude about it.

"Heh, glad you're having a good time." Anne smirked, leaning on the bubble as Steven let himself float down. "Though let me just say if I had my Calamity Powers still, I'd still be whipping the floor with you."

"Isn't kicking my butt in sword fighting enough?" Steven snorted

"Meh, I like to keep my streak open for more victories … they're really rare when bad guys come rolling in."

"Tell me about it." KO sighed as he punched his way out of the bubble. "Everything starts out small, but there's something that escalates it, like there was a certain point where life decided to get just a little harder."

"Pretty much. I can actually pinpoint the day where that happened." Steven responded. "For me personally, it was when I chose to heal Lapis and let her fly back to Homeworld. I fought my own family over that choice."

"It's a tough call for me. It was either when I opened that Calamity Chest or when I had my first fight with Sasha." Anne spoke next. "Both events changed my life, I'm just not sure which one was bigger."

"Mine was letting TKO out of his cage, but I think it worked out in the end." The boy smiled. "Now I have a sharp tooth, I have magenta clothing, and I can punch through just about any problem."

"You can get through the trauma and still look so happy. You're an inspiration to us all, KO." Steven said as he patted the kid on the head. "Do you guys ever think life changes just a little too fast?"

"All the time." Anne answered. "There's some days where what I want to change doesn't and what I don't want to change does. Being able to accept it takes a while to get used to, but in the end, it can be a part of growing into who you want and need to be."

"Yeah, there was a point in time where I saw my entire life just feel like it was going on fast forward. Enid went to witch school, Rad joined a space navy, my mom married Mr.Gar, and I was shown the absolute existencial terror of the fourth dimension."

"Somehow I'd be less awkward on that last one then the marriage thing." Steven sighed. "My earth dad's dating, and I don't know how to feel about it. Part of it's being the 'dimensional adoption' thing, so yeah, it's all jumbled.

"I think I'm the only kid other than Ben and Gwen with a stable family." Anne noted. "I mean, I don't know about Ladybug and Chat, but it's likely."

"Don't be like that." KO waved his hands. "I get it, I get stuck between calling Mr. Gar 'Mr.Gar' and 'Mr.Dad', and then there's the Venomous and Boxman thing. In the end, it's just another member of your family that you have the opportunity to care about, and vice versa."

"Yeah … I guess that's true." Steven sighed in content. Better just let whatever happens happen on that front. "Alright, let's ignore my family life and get back to it."

"Right!" KO nodded. "Let's start putting some power into these punches." What a frighteningly talented little boy.

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Kelly slashed yet another of the little monsters. "You were right Marce, Pixies are the worst!"

"I know, right? I keep telling people that, but for some reason the idea of strangling them gets people in a weird mood." The vampire shrugged, biting down on one of their necks.

"Maybe it's how you word it." Flame Princess noted. "Finn said that strangling someone is 'cruel and unusual punishment' or something like that." The girl of fire shrugged as she burnt a few to a crisp. "It's hard to know what's going too far since the cruelest punishment in my kingdom is having a cold shower."

"I get it. Where I'm from, denying a fight is basically being flipped the bird." Kelly responded as she headbutted a few into a mushy paste.

"No wonder you're a battle maniac … mind if I visit sometime? It would be nice to have a place to vent my problems." Flame princess smiled.

"Be my guest, just try not to burn off anyone's hair. We consider that a war crime." Kelly kicked a few right into a rushing stream. "I still can't believe this is actually earth. So different from the one I know."

"Meh, that's how it is." Marceline shrugged. "One day you live a normal life, the next, boom, someone sets off a dumbass bomb as you watch the world fade away into insanity and chaos." Kelly just received a lot of context on how the Gems lived their lives. "Sure, I could spend my immortal life crying over every love one I've lost or will eventually lose, or I can grab my axe guitar and enjoy the ride while it lasts."

"An axe guitar sounds like the perfect weapon for my ex." She recalled fondly. "Everyone would probably go running and screaming as he swings it, only to stop when he ends up playing a musical number on the spot."

"You talking about shield boy?" The vampire snorted. "He sounds like he's his own weapon if I'm being honest."

"Hah, couldn't be farther from the truth. Yeah, he can turn into a big spiky monster, but he's also like a living body pillow. Even before we dated, it was just nice to hold onto him."

"I dunno, body pillows can still kick ass." She turned to Flame Princess with bafflement.

"Literally or …"

"Me and Marce are dating walking candy. It's soft like you wouldn't believe." Flame clarified. "Plus being in the flame kingdom cooked Cinnamon bun so he wasn't 'half baked', so it was the perfect compliment for me."

"PB's more of a scientist than a warrior, but the point still stands. She's currently working on another failsafe doomsday gumball guardian." Marceline held a thoughtful look as she floated in the air. "Actually, I should really talk to her about slipping back into her fascistic tendencies. I think it's a deeper problem than we realize.

"Meh, better to be prepared than unprepared. We died way too many times for comfort." Kelly said, holding a pixie by the throat. "Now, where is your queen?"

"You can silence me, but you can never silence her reign! Soon the body empire will re-emerge as our allies, and we shall take over the multiverse!!" 

Body empire, why did that sound…. "Damn it Rhombulus, you still suck even when I'm across the universe!" She twisted the Pixie's neck, killing it instantly. "Great, and here I was trying to get away from home as much as possible, but nope, it comes crawling back to me."

"Eh, pretty sure nothing big will come out of it if we leave it alone." Flame Princess set ablaze a couple of the pixie's houses. 

"..." She stared with half lidded eyes. "Have you… have you never tempted fate before?"

"Bitch, I set fate ablaze." The fiery girl crossed her arms. "Last time fate got involved in my life, it led to my first break up, so screw the rules, I made my own."

"That's the spirit!" Marceline laughed. "Hey, how about we go to fate's house and beat her up!"

"Wait, you guys literally have…"

"Yep, she's neighbors with the Cosmic owl, who lives right above death."

"... We really need to set up a flow chart for this cosmic hierarchy shit." Kelly muttered to herself. "... But who am I to turn down a chance to kick her ass!?"

"Yeah, Fuck the universe!" Marceline shouted with her ax waving high above her head. "This is for all the bullshit you let happen!" She had such nice and understanding friends. Hopefully they'd mesh well with her old ones.