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Becoming Rich in Primitive World

สมจริง
Ongoing · 33.1K Views
  • 29 Chs
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Synopsis

You were a normal poor boy living in a small village in a big kingdom. Your life was pretty mundane, until all of a sudden, a mysterious system appeared which turned your life. Now you have a goal in mind, make stuff, sell it, get rich, get a bitch. Maybe not in that order.

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SkyWings · สมจริง
4.9
253 Chs

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AC_F5Lv4

Well like I said I will give you a more honest review, before you think why the score is low, I will explain the points given to your novel, if your novel improves I will drop a better review.. also I would like to mention your novel is just in the beginning phase so I can't give you higher rating on certain aspects..Now first thing first:writing quality:I would like to give you 2,5 stars but I can't give half stars so for now it will be 3 stars.. I will not give you higher because while your writing is not bad.. like I said before you chapters are too short.. and there are thing you could do too improve your writing quality which I will mention in the second aspect since the improvements concerns both aspectsoverall I will give you 2 stars except writing quality to 3 stars since your writing is not that bad considering other novels I read..story development:the story is interesting although it has some cliche aspect.. but for now it works.. I would consider the story fast paced which I don't particularly like with this kind of novels.. you're going to fast in his development.. you could have slowed down add more details to the novel and or write certain parts longer.. also a point I would like to mention is you expanded so much and fast while not giving a reader the feeling like he has done something admirable.. and another point which I want to mention I will explain in the next aspectcharacter design:You could have more interaction with different characters in your story.. for now it look like the characters you mentioned are just for the sake of MC to have some world around him and help him with his quest/objectivesthere is also the point I would like to mention because of the fast pace.. your MC is using/making era changing invententions but you don't mentioned anything about safe guarding these.. you're introducing new characters helping out with your inventioned but not mentioning any trust/loyalty between the MC and characters while you do setuo the story for multiple possible villains who would could do anything to get your invention/ideas and disposing/exploiting your MC..updating stability:cant say much about this since I haven't bookmarked your novel for now I will give you 2 starsworld background:other than mentioning a few things about the world the MC living there is not much to go around with and I can't give you any higher since your story is just in the beginning phaselast but not least I would like to mention you could improve the novel a lot with making pace of the novel a bit slower.. take some time on completing quests have more interaction with other characters for building better relationships.. there also other things you could do to improve the novel but I won't get into it because it could change your story too much if you would follow those opinions.. I will let you figure it out your self and will only say to not make mistakes like other authors of making things too cliche.. some things are fine and can work for your novel.. but some will destroy your novel..

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