STEPH IS NOT BACK YET

On the way to my first seminar, I stop at the coffee shop, where Landon waits for me in a good mood. However, it is not enough for more than just a welcome because a student asks us the way, so that we can only really talk when we are on our way to the literature class in the afternoon. The course that I dread the whole day, but at the same time somehow I can hardly wait. "How was your weekend?" Landon asks.

I moan. "To be honest, terrible, I was out with Steph again," I tell him, which makes him laugh a little annoyed. "I'm sure yours was a lot better, how's Dakota?" At the mention of her name, he smiles all over his face. And I realise that I did not mention Noah's visit on Saturday. Landon tells us about Dakota's application to a ballet company in New York and how awesome he is.

All the while I wonder if Noah's eyes will shine like that when he talks about me. While Landon tells me how much his father and stepmother were looking forward to seeing him, I realise that I'm not listening to him properly because I'm looking around the room. Hardin's place is empty.

"Is not that hard when Dakota is so far away?" I ask as we sit down. "Well, we already have a long-distance relationship, and it works, I just want the best for them, and if that's New York, then I support them to go there." We fall silent because our lecturer enters the room. 'Where is Hardin? He would not drop out of the seminar just to stay out of my way, would not he? "

We jump into the discussion of 'Pride and Prejudice' - a wonderful book, I wish everyone would read it - and soon the hour is over. "You were at the barber." When I turn around, I see Hardin smiling behind me. He and Landon look at each other strangely while I think about what to answer. In Lando's presence, he will not mention our kiss, right? These dimples, as deep as ever, tell me that he would. "Hello, Hardin," I greet him.

"Well, how was your weekend?" He seems so complacent. I pull Landon by the arm. "Good, see you!" I shout nervously. Hardin just laughs. Landon looks at me questioningly. "What was that?" Obviously he means my strange behaviour. "Nothing, I just do not like Hardin." "At least you do not have to see him often." But there is something else in his tone. What exactly does he mean by that? Does he know about the kiss?

"Um ... true, thank God," I stammer. After a short pause, he adds, "I did not really want to mention it, because I do not want you to associate me with him, but," he smiles nervously, "Hardin's dad is in a sense with my mom."

'What?' "I beg your pardon?" "Hardin's Dad -" "Yes, yes, I already understood that part, but Hardin's father lives here? I thought Hardin is from England, and if his father is here why does not he live with him?" Before I can stop, I storm Landon with questions. He seems a bit confused, but not as nervous as he is. "He's from London, his dad and mom live near the campus, but Hardin and his dad do not get along well, but please do not mention that I told you that, we do not like each other anyway . " I nod. "That's okay."

Although I think about a thousand more questions, I keep my mouth shut as Landon continues to tell me about Dakota and his eyes shine with each word more. When I come to our room, Steph is not there yet. Her seminars are two hours longer on Mondays than mine. After I've readied all my books and notes for study, I decide to call Noah first. He does not answer. Once again I wish he was with me here in college. Then everything would be so much easier and more comfortable. We could now study together or watch a movie.

At the same time I know that I think so, because my guilty conscience almost kills me because of Hardin's kiss - Noah is so cute and really does not deserve me to cheat on him. I'm so lucky to have him in my life. He is always there for me, knows me better than anyone else. We've been friends practically all our lives. When he moved into our street with his parents, I was thrilled to finally have someone my age to play with.

The feeling grew stronger the better I got to know him and found out that he too, like me, had an old soul. We spent our time reading, watching movies and reviving the old greenhouse in the backyard. The greenhouse had always been my safe haven: when my dad drank, I hid there, and no one but Noah knew where to find me. The night my dad left us was terrible. My mother refuses to talk about it until today because that would destroy the perfect facade she has built for herself, but I just have to talk about it sometimes.

Even though I hated him for his drinking and how he treated my mother, there was always a deep need to have a father. That night, as I huddled in his greenhouse, shouting and spinning, I heard glass splintering in the kitchen and then footsteps.

I was so scared that he would come for me now, but it was Noah. Never before in my life was I so relieved to see anyone. From that day on, we were inseparable. Over the years, our friendship has become more, and neither of us has ever partnered with anyone else. I write Noah a message that I love him, and then decide to sleep briefly before I start learning. According to my overview plan that should be easy in it. Ten minutes later, there is a knock.

Since I assume that Steph forgot her key, I make sleepy. But of course it's not Steph, it's Hardin. "Steph is not back yet," I tell him and go back to my bed. I leave the door open. Anyway, I'm surprised that he bothered to knock, because I now know that Steph gave him her spare key in case she lost her job.

I still have to talk to her about that.