Accepting the Darkness/ His Angel, Her Demon

Sukie woke up startled, with a torturous scream of pain ringing in her ears.

Her eyes shot open as she tried to sit up. She was frozen. His hands around her neck squeezed with just enough pressure that she could barely breathe.

His body was heavy on top of hers. She could tell he was tall because his chin touched her forehead and she couldn't feel his feet, just his ankles and shins.

It felt like he was smelling and pressing his face against hers, rubbing it against her. It was an animalistic motion.

Reaching for his arms, she attempted to pry them away from her neck, to no avail.

Losing oxygen fast, she began feeling light-headed. The feeling to pass out was overwhelming. Sukie started praying in her mind. She prayed to be able to breathe, to be able to move and for whatever this being was, to go away.

He wouldn't budge.

Sukie finally stopped fighting. The blur that obscured her vision slowly decreased as she was released. Coughing and gasping for air, she forced herself to sit up.

You would think that after all these years of dealing with this bullshit, she would be used to it, but she wasn’t, and probably never would be. She was nearly numb if nothing else.

"Fuck! This is going to leave a mark." She cursed, feeling frustrated and pissed off. Today is a turtleneck top kind of day for sure. She thought.

Most people had to cover up hickeys at school. Sukie had to cover up strangulation marks. What a wonderful life this was.

Cataplexy is what the doctors diagnosed her with. Since the age of thirteen, she had been experiencing hallucinations and attacks, mostly at night.

The attacks that happened in her bed were not visible, but she always ended up with lingering, painful marks on her body that she couldn't explain. She completed two sleep studies, and nothing showed up in any of the tests.

There were no answers until sleep study number three.

In the middle of the night, a different technician from the first tech she originally checked in with, came to her room to do her routine checks while she was hooked up to the sleep study device.

The doctor didn't mention a new technician or nurse that would be checking on her, but she didn't ask either.

The tech said she was from Mexico. She was very petite and pretty with light brown hair and hazel eyes. There was a peaceful vibe surrounding her. She asked Sukie what was going on with her since the charts were pretty vague. Sukie told her the story in a nutshell.

Who really has time for a five-year horror story? Sukie thought.

The tech looked at her and told her that no doctor on this planet could tell her why these things were happening to her. She said that medical science was not the answer and what she was experiencing was not something that is of the world that she thought she knew.

She told Sukie that she had a light inside of her and that she had "gifts”. She said that "they" were coming for her, and that she had to prepare. She never said who "they" were, but just that they wanted her for evil things.

Sukie brushed the experience off as some crazy lady who got a temporary job that she probably wouldn't keep for very long.

When Sukie was leaving, she asked everyone about the lady, but no one knew who she was. Maybe she was just another hallucination, she thought. It wouldn't be her first experience with hallucinations. So, the doctor diagnosed her with cataplexy.

He said she could take medicine to help her sleep and manage her symptoms. She hated taking medicine, so she decided that she just needed to take a break from everything.

After a while, she simply stopped telling anyone about the incidents. People thought she was weird, so she kept it to herself. She couldn't take that look that she would receive after explaining one of her episodes to the people she loved and trusted.

She could tell they thought she was losing her mind. So, she just hid the marks and kept it all to herself instead.

After the episode, she couldn't go back to sleep. She felt like she had just been in the fight of her life. She was in pain and she was annoyed.

Sukie got up and drank a glass of water. She shook it off and grabbed her journal to begin recording in detailed writing what had just happened. She had about fifty journals full so far. It was crazy to her.

She also kept separate dream journals. She always felt that dreams were either messages from the spirit realm or thoughts that were stored at the end of each day. They just needed to be deciphered to know which one it was.

Sukie imagined that one day this would all make sense. At least she hoped it would.

Up and ready to get out of the house, she drove to the track where she used to practice with the track team. They always tried to get her to join the team since she was fast and had a lot of stamina, but she had never been much of a joiner. She just loved to run.

Running was a release for her. It was a freedom. It was also a very necessary distraction for what she had been going through.

Sukie arrived at the track at 5:30 a.m., her favorite time to work out. No one was ever out and about at that time for some reason.

The sun was starting to rise with beautiful pinks, blues, and purples. She was in love with everything about nature. The beauty, the anger, and the healing of it all was her peace.

She did a couple of stretches and started her warmup lap. Usually, two miles sufficed, followed by a relaxing yoga session, but she had to clear her mind after this morning’s attack. She was still sore, and the bruises had already started to become visible.

Sukie began running faster than usual. Pushing herself a little harder than usual, she did an extra mile, much faster than she normally ran. Near the end of her final lap, she realized there were tears forming.

“Get it together Sukie. Nothing is allowed to break you. You will figure this out.” She whispered.