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A Bored Lich

"Screw magic, I want to learn how to do cool flips and stuff." Magic is awesome, until you've studied it for centuries. Doevm reincarnates into a human to experience the path of a fighter to its fullest and swears not to rely on magic. There is only one problem, a goddess stands in his way. She pits him against both the hero and the villain for all of eternity. How will he escape this, with magic or his fists? Maybe both? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Sorry about the spacing. Webnovel doesn't let me use enter) Winner of contest #110. I upload three chapters a week. Each chapter has word count around 1000+.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Link to my discord: https://discord.gg/tHaceja ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------While I am an experienced writer, I do make mistakes. Don't be afraid to say you don't understand something or point out an error in grammar. I read all comments. There are naturally some things I won't say. For example, if some says there's an inconsistency and I don't address it, it's probably there for a reason.

Random_writer · แฟนตาซี
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467 Chs

Unhappy Birthday

"Formation three!" Wade roared. Squad three squished shoulder to shoulder to form a wall of spears pointing down the cave. This was one of the few more advanced techniques that Jameson taught in the past year or two. No one knew why, but he kept increasing the intensity of training.

It had been nearly two years since Doevm joined the guards. Wade had to take six months to adjust. If he found his toes, they could have been healed back on, but they were completely obliterated in the explosion. In the time that he was gone, Frey proved to be a resourceful leader. He did fail one or two missions for the squad, but that was only to be expected of a temporary leader. Everyone had developed their life essence to a dark green and had learned how to use it properly from Doevm.

"Aim for their hearts." Frey said. "Doevm told me goblins have weak constitutions but will keep fighting even on the brink of death. One shot is one kill."

From in the dark cave, a small pair of eyes reflected the light of the outside. A dozen more pairs lit up. As they got bigger, the outline of goblins appeared. They all wielded bloody daggers as sharp as their teeth. They ran out only to be stabbed to death. When the battle subsided, everyone was uninjured. "Frey, nice work back there," Wade said. "But why did you ask Doevm about the goblins? This mission was supposed to be secret from him.

"I know." Frey said. Over the years, his already massive muscles and frame developed. He was now the physically strongest guard, apart from Jameson. "But he always knows about this sort of thing. He has saved all of us with how much he knows about every kind of monster. Don't worry, I didn't mention this mission was to get a birthday present for him."

"I hope not." Hopi said. "His eyes are sharper than mine. He can see right through you at times." He held his pointed ear to the rocks. "All clear, I don't hear anything else." The squad relaxed a little and walked into the cave. "It really stinks in here." Hopi covered his nose.

"Tell me about it." Frey stepped over the goblin corpses and found the source of the smell. "Oh the goddess." He backed up a few steps and nearly puked. "Doevm wasn't kidding." It was a giant pile of crap and urine against the entire back of the cave.

"This is it?" Wade looked at the pile, his face turning green. "Where is the elixir they stole from the caravan?"

"In there." Frey gagged. "Goblins hide valuables in the place no one, and I mean no one would think to look. We have to..." He stopped swallowing the bit of bile rising in his throat. "Dig through it."

Ten minutes of gagging, vomiting, and E. Coli later, they found the red elixir. They washed their clothes, armor, and weapons with a bonfire and returned to the mansion. It was early in the morning, so everyone else was still getting ready for the surprise.

...

Doevm woke up as usual and stretched his tired muscles. He had grown a foot higher and developed a deeper voice in his two years since joining the guards, but not much else changed. Yawning, he went over what he would do today. 'That's right, today's the day.' He put on his clothes and walked to finish his morning library cleaning. When he got there, the bookshelves were already clean. He found a note on the table with barely legible handwriting: Doevm, please come to The Pit - Jameson. Doevm smiled and walked to just outside The Pit.

"Quiet down, I hear him coming." Hopi whispered in a voice so quiet that even people in the rose field might have heard.

"Not so loud." Frey hissed. "You call that a whisper? That was more like a yell."

"You bunch of idiots; I can hear everything." Doevm laughed as he walked in. Despite knowing what was happening, he was still shocked.

The ceiling had been aligned with colored paper. Tables were set up with all kinds of snacks and foods. A few gifts wrapped in leather were in the corner where the weights usually were. On the left and right, the guards were all dressed in civilian clothes for once.

"Surprise?" Frey half-yelled and nervously laughed.

"That's not how what you should say." Jameson hit Frey on the back of the head. "Everyone together!"

"Happy birthday!"

Doevm couldn't help but smile at how hard everyone had worked just for him. "I-I don't know what to say. Why did everyone go through so much trouble just for me?"

"It's your coming of age party." Jameson said. "You're fourteen now, you're now an adult. You can marry or go to war...among other things. Let's eat." Doevm joined everyone in a feast. Everyone was smiling and laughing. It felt like nothing could stop them. They were drunk on happiness. Doevm tried to stop smiling several times, but it seemed to be a permanent feature. The roasted boar was the best meal Doevm had ever eaten. When everyone's bellies were full, people took turns sparring in the center of The Pit. The winner would go onto the next round with a new opponent. Frey lasted the longest but was eventually knocked out by Hopi because he got tired.

"Who's next?" Hopi stood in the center as the new champion. "I bet I can take down anyone here."

Wade stepped in, "Are you sure about that?" Everyone cheered as the two wrestled. Doevm watched from the sidelines and took peaks at his presents. Most of them were obvious. One was a big long pole in the shape of a spear. One wasn't even wrapped. It was a holster for throwing knives. Doevm looked at the most promising one: the one with a bottle.

'That's too much,' he thought. 'How in the world did these guards afford a bottle of elixir?'

Jameson waded through the sea of cheering guards and sat next to Doevm at the table. His face was downcast, and his expression blank. "Can I talk to you for a second? There's something I need to tell you."

"Sure," Doevm got up and followed Jameson outside The Pit while everyone was distracted. In the open air, the noise faded away. The air was fresh, and Doevm felt the pressure of the party wash away. A new pressure took its place. Tension bloomed from Jameson like the roses in the fields. Doevm took a deep breath: "That was some party, did you organize it?"

"Yes. The guards helped me, but I handled the majority of it." Jameson said. "But that's not what..."

"You spent a lot of money just to celebrate." Doevm interrupted the captain for the first time in years. No guard had done it and gotten away without a punishment, but Doevm kept pushing, "I'm sure that whatever you bought me for a present was expensive as well. Am I right?"

Jameson was silent.

Doevm looked past the rose fields, down to his old house which Frey and Frey's sister now lived. "You've always taken care of me, but I've done nothing for you to deserve your care. You're just like how my mother described you. She always talked about you, and you always talked about her."

"Yes, I suppose I do." Jameson sighed and scratched the back of his head. "It was that obvious huh?"

"Pretty much." Doevm looked at everyone enjoying the party. "I think a few other guards realized as well, but they haven't said anything."

They stood quietly for a few minutes. "Do you hate me?"

"I did." Doevm looked to the mansion. "But after talking to Thomas, I formed a few theories as to why you left. I don't know exactly why, but I can guess it has something to do with his mother. I can also understand why you didn't come back for two years."

"I didn't know Hank was treating you that bad." Jameson's voice wavered. "If I had known I would have come back and killed him. I didn't know she still loved me. If I was just a little faster, things would have been different. I didn't tell you because I thought the guards would treat you as an outsider. If only..."

"You can't change the past." Doevm said. "I know that more than anyone, because no one wants to change it more than me. Thank you for everything, father." He hugged Jameson. 'You poor human.'

In that second of care and love, the world moved. It started as a slight tremble that soon turned into a violent shaking. The seas rose and slammed its water into each other. Houses quaked. Clouds darkened and rained down lightning. In the Pit, all celebration halted. The gods moved to greet and recognize their champions.

In Reginald's room, he laughed like a madman. He had been skipping meals and his hair was graying. He danced around his room: "Just a few weeks! Thomas avoided the draft by just a few weeks. He's only thirteen after all." he bargained with no one. "Praise the goddess for her wisdom."

'That's right,' Doevm thought as Jameson's face lost its color. 'Today's the day. I reincarnated on the same day as the hero. I come of age today and so does he. The hero has been revealed. This twisted game as well as the year-long war starts now.'

I've waited 20 chapters for this.

Your power stones have been absorbed.

The outline of the arc is already written.

I'm ready.

Lets FUCKING GO!

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